Growing up, I was a tomboy. Because I was the only female among my cousins (not to mention one of the oldest), I assumed the role of troublemaker/ringleader. At an early age, I was able to convince my younger cousins and brother to dig up the backyard in search of gold coins much to the chagrin of my poor aunt and uncle who had to shell out God knows what to cover landscaping costs. Later on, I dodged other bullets doing all the things that rebellious teenagers do and a few others that exemplified my many lapses in sound judgment. I believe my love of adventure and ability to find myself in a wide assortment of precarious situations are just two reasons why I get along with the opposite sex so well.
That being said, there are times when even I can be a girly girl. On Friday, I received a phone call in the office that there was something waiting for me in the lobby. I ignored the message and figured I’d come back after lunch to pick up whatever mystery package was waiting for me. Couldn’t be that important.
But I was summoned again. There in the lobby stood a beautiful messenger with a lovely bouquet of purple tulips in her arms. I turned 100 shades of red as I accepted and headed back to my office to open the card.
I knew immediately who they were from. David (not actual name, but this is the name we’ll assign to the guy with the girlfriend).
At first I didn’t know how to react. I had an audience, I was caught completely off guard, and this wasn’t exactly the time to squeal with my girlfriends (though I really, really wanted to). I felt conflicted. I had a Hester Prynne moment, worried the flowers would expose my loose morals and indecent behavior. But I also felt immense elation. It’s a wonderful thing to receive flowers and I wanted to enjoy them. Purple also happens to be my favorite color and the tulips were a perfect choice. I tried to contain my excitement given the circumstances.
Later that evening, I met up with David and we had a long chat. I laid all the cards out on the table. What we were doing was wrong. No good can come from it. Statistically speaking, relationships that have so many strikes against them are bound to fail. I told him that I couldn’t help but hate myself for the pain I would inevitably cause his girlfriend. I had just recovered from my own world of hurt. How could I possibly do that to someone else?
I don’t want to be the other woman anymore. I am proud of the progress I have made so far and I need to continue on my path to self discovery. I am devastated because I know it means I won’t be able to see David as much but I want him to find what it is he is looking for as well. It’s time for me to stop getting myself tangled up in relationships that are doomed to fail.
I am soooo proud of you! So many times we want a man so badly that we will put up with stuff that we know we shouldn’t! You are worth so much more than Mr. Davis can afford. That’s right sista, you are out of his price range. Mr. Right is out there! Until then, keep on enjoying everyday God blesses you with!
Just remember, relationships often end the way they started, infidelity on both ends… There is some truth to the ol’ saying: “once a cheater always a cheater.”
Just remember there is NOTHING wrong with being single, in fact it’s the only path to discovering yourself, and the best way to be open to new possibility!
Thanks, Katrina, for stopping by! Back to the ol’ drawing board for me, but I’m enjoying this time immensely 😉
Interesting food for thought, Wesley. So you think we’re all cheaters by nature?? That’s not terribly reassuring but I do want to make the most of this time in my life. Get all the reckless behavior out of the way now that I have no attachments to anyone. Hope all’s well with you!
Hi, popping by to say hello! I’m not a girly girl either.. but I’m partial to flowers. I think you did the right thing, for what it’s worth, and you are ABSOLUTELY worth waiting for someone to devote themselves to you only. Gotta love tulips, though!
Thanks so much for stopping by, Aly 🙂 Yea, tulips sure are purrty 🙂 Have a great week!
Godspeed, me matey. I, too, think you’ve done the right thing, although I by no means judged the fact you were seeing David. Speak soon!
awwww, thanks girly 🙂 that means a lot. thank you for not judging my lapses in sound reasoning 😉 hope all’s well with you!!!
Hi ya!
No need to feel all Hester Prynne. Think of it like this. You are on a journey and Tulip Boy was just a pitstop!
Good for you! I am a firm believer in karma and I think you just brought some of the good stuff your way. 🙂 ditto to what Tex said – David is a pit stop… can’t wait to read about who enters your life next!
I’m visiting from Lady Bloggers to say Happy Memorial Day! I agree with the last comment about karma, and so you are really setting yourself up for good things. Sometimes we come up against struggles, and it’ll only make you stronger.
Stopping in from Lady Bloggers (actually after you stopped in on me and thanks). Great blog!!! And you absolutely did the best thing for you, for the great boost in self confidence and strength if nothing else. And who knows, it’s not the point of course but maybe it’s the kick in judgment pants that “David” needs and he will come back with a clean slate and turn out to be Mr Right. If not, you got pretty flowers and a good boost of self esteem out of it!
I’m glad you decided not to see David anymore…for you sake and for the sake of his girlfriend.
See I was the girlfriend. I was the one home alone while another woman was out with my boyfriend. When I found out I was devastated. She knew about me and I didn’t understand how she could have done that to me, knowing the damage it would do to my relationship.
But, on the other hand, my boyfriend came home to me every night. I’m sure he told her that we weren’t getting along or that we never had sex or that he wasn’t happy. But it was all lies. Because we got along fine and we were happy and we had a good sex life.
So while I was home alone sometimes while she was out with him, she was home alone every night while he was in bed next to me. In the end, we both ended up getting hurt and we both lost.
You deserve more than to be the other woman…especially after what you’ve been through. You left Jackson because you wanted to get married and have a family. You aren’t going to get that with a guy who has a girlfriend.
Stay away from him and find somone you don’t have to share. You deserve it.