I wanted to first take a moment to thank everyone for the wonderful texts, calls, emails, and messages I’ve received in response to my last post. Please know that I plan to return each and every one but have taken a bit of an intentional break to sit with the feels, to return to the things I love, to break bread with good friends, and practice self-care. It’s helped immensely. There are still moments of sadness, and I imagine there will be for a while, but they move like passing clouds and I’m learning to walk through the emotions, not around like I used to (a relatively new practice for me).
I’ve been thinking a lot about the writing process and whether or not being vulnerable online is actually helpful or detrimental. I can’t say for everyone, but I know this much is true as it relates to my life in particular: writing is a part of my healing and without it, I don’t feel like my true authentic self. Do you know that I went 10 years without writing a single thing? Those Dark Ages are thankfully now a part of my past and I’m happy to have found my voice again.
A friend recently asked if sharing about my miscarriage was something I was ready to do publicly so soon. In the moment, I didn’t really know, but I’m glad I did because it helped me realize that I’m not alone and finding other women who can connect and share similar stories–well, that makes the experience worth it to me.
I’m keeping today’s post short and sweet. I’d like to know whether you are vulnerable online because it helps to process the feels, if it’s just a part of your online personality, or any other reason you may have. This is a judgement-free zone here, and you can use this space as your confessional if you like.
Also, from the very bottom of my heart, thank you. XOXO
Dear Charlotte, As you know I haven’t blogged in forever. I do miss it dearly though and I am contemplating my return to the world of bloggers.
That being said, I always benefited from being vulnerable online. It never failed to help me process things better, I used all comments as advice and they helped me reflect on my situation much better.
I think it was the right thing to share your grief! I am sure it helps a lot! Hugs xxx
P.S. I love your way of writing and just now see how much I’ve missed it! <3
I’m glad that writing helps you process things and that sharing has given you more people to talk to, who really understand, or maybe just empathize with you. I want to be more open and personal on my blog – I feel like I’m slowly getting there. Of course, it’s tough to talk about everything because sometimes it’s part of someone else’s story and I feel like I can’t really disclose that online. At any rate, I do find it makes me feel better to know that people can understand or who at least care.
Love you!
Lauren
Sorry to hear what you are going through. I am very vulnerable in writing too much personal things online just because there is so much negativity out there. Many times on Facebook I could be writing something to help someone out or even just complementing a movie or recipe and someone always tends to write something negative about my comment. I think I heal first inside before opening up. I do have to tell you though that reading people’s posts that go through rough times always helps me out so continue in your way. I guess I am more comfortable writing on blogs then popular public Facebook pages.
I have been vulnerable online before and have found it helps. I think writing is so cathartic, so I think it’s good you wrote and shared and are open about it. As you said, you don’t know how much it might be helping someone else going through the same thing. I’m thinking of you every day my sweet. Love you.
Hugs and light to you, Charlotte. Being vulnerable often feels so hard — like you’re coming undone — but I’ve come to learn that it also can be the one thing that really helps you move forward. I’ve been a vulnerable person since the day I was born, and to be honest, I think I’m better for it. I think leaning in to vulnerability is so worth it. Brene Brown certainly knows what she’s talking about: “Vulnerability is not weakness. I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty. It fuels our daily lives.”
I hope you weren’t asked that after you had already shared. You know your own.. YOU. I usually share fast because it’s healing, and then process it and continue to share.
We’re twins!
Also because I went years without writing a thing as well. Not 10 years, but maybe 5. Blogging saved me.
Writing on my blog has always been really therapeutic for me. I’ve found the only flack I get from it is from people who know the story and someone MY sharing makes THEM uncomfortable. I really let that upset me for awhile but in my endless time in therapy I’ve learned I can’t control how someone feels and it’s not my responsibility to manage their feelings. If they are upset, it’s on them. It has nothing to do with me. And honestly? That’s been really freeing for me.
I have been more vulnerable in the past year online the I ever was in the past. I am not sure what lead me to do that, but I have found for me at least that it does help me heal. I am able to put it out there. Sometimes people comment and give me advice and sometimes no one does. I have learned that it is how I feel after doing it that matters. Do it for you. Lots of hugs friend.
I shared something personal on my blog a couple of weeks ago about my childhood. It took a long time to eventually post it and I was nervous about sharing and making myself vulnerable. However I’m glad I did it and found I started feeling like I was decluttering emotionally afterwards. Writing is really therapeutic. I wouldn’t share as much on FB but my blog is my personal space and it felt easier for me to share on it.
Whatever you decide is your choice. I’m thinking of you at this time and hoping that you are doing okay.
Sending hugs.
I am glad writing helps and I am happy to be here and support you.
I don’t always share everything as openly as I’d like to (because sometimes it involves other people), but I definitely feel that writing and sharing is a huge part of healing.