– Posted in: featured

I struggle with forgiveness. I hold on to painful memories with an iron fist and think not too pleasantly about the times in my life when I lost faith in all the things that truly matter.

Is everyone worth a chance at redemption?

Maybe not.

Do I believe in second chances?

Beyond a shadow of a doubt.

My flaws have folds and my layers keep peeling. I use self-deprecating humor to deflect from the fact that sometimes I’d like to jump out of my skin and try another pelt on for size (figuratively speaking of course, because that’s a really gross visual).

How many chances do you give a shitty friend? How many times have your friends forgiven you, when you yourself have gone a beat too long without a word, an answered phone call, or a returned email?

The truth of the matter is that sometimes we hold our friends and family members up to unreasonable expectations that we ourselves fall short of. I realized this recently myself when I was angry with a friend who hadn’t responded to texts, though a quick scroll confirmed that I was the one who had dropped the ball. And that mountain of emails–there are so many I’ve neglected for months! I ask for forgiveness when life gets in the way, and do solemnly swear to cut slack when you need some time to climb out of your circumstances.

The world is very fragile right now, and something as simple as forgiveness can make a huge difference. It’ll lessen the burden on your heart and can help a friend in need. 

Do you have a hard time with forgiveness, too?

Keeping it short and sweet today because it’s Monday, there’s not enough coffee, and work beckons. I wish everyone a wonderful week ahead, and I look forward to spending some time with your blogs this afternoon. *HUGS!*

Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

17 Comments… add one
michelle February 26, 2018, 9:57 AM

In forgiving, we heal ourselves and it is a process: takes time. But a basic rule to keep from repeating behaviors over and over: if you are working harder on a relationship than the other person, it is no good for you and just as bad for them. Everyone deserves a second chance, always. Just not a hundred of them. Time to let go then.

Kim February 26, 2018, 9:57 AM

People always tell me I forgive to easy and love to hard. Its true, I always see the good in everyone and give people a million chances. But once I am pushed past a certain point, Im done. And then its next to impossible for me to forgive. Have a great week XOXO

Beth February 26, 2018, 10:45 AM

I’ve been there. I’ve given some second chances and had it not work out well, but in other instances it has. And I’ve definitely been guilty of being angry with someone and then discovering it was me who actually probably owed the apology. It’s hard to forgive and it’s hard to apologize. But important to do. XOXO

Davilyn February 26, 2018, 10:47 AM

I have learned that forgiveness only hurts me not them. Sometimes they don’t even realize they’ve hurt you. Everyone deserves redemption because if not, none of us would have it because we all have hurt someone in some kind of way. Hope you have a great day.

MaLee @ This Blue Dress February 26, 2018, 11:08 AM

What a great message! A call for forgiveness is the perfect reminder to let go of everything we are holding on to. Perfect way to start the week!

Sakshi February 26, 2018, 11:35 AM

Surprisingly i have never had a hard time with forgiveness. I have gone through a lot myself. Initially it was difficult.. But not anymore. Especially from the last few years. Maybe because i dont keep everlasting heavy expectations from people. I look after my self and keep myself ahead of all. Not in a selfish way, but just coz i know in the end you are all you have 🙂

Cara February 26, 2018, 1:51 PM

I’ve been sitting here thinking about forgiveness for a while, and I realized I need to really work on it, in particular, forgiving myself. There are a lot of decisions I’ve made that I’ve regretted and while I don’t think they’re holding me back, I’m still holding on to them. It’s not healthy to have my expectations of myself be that much higher than my expectations of everyone else.

Nikki February 26, 2018, 4:04 PM

Forgiveness is a tough one for me, although I have been working on having a more positive perspective. I feel reading/listening to self help books has helped with this.

Akaleistar February 26, 2018, 4:21 PM

I have a hard time with forgiveness, too. It’s hard to know how many chances to give a person, so sometimes I have to remind myself that most people are doing the best that they can.

San February 26, 2018, 7:07 PM

Forgiveness is one thing, reconciliation another. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I’ve been burned a few times too and while it is hard, I try to not invite more negativity into my life, if I can avoid it.

lisa thomson February 26, 2018, 9:23 PM

I totally believe in forgiveness. I have given many friends second and third chances. Some have failed me even after that so I let go of those. There are some things that are extremely difficult to forgive—still working on it. Self forgiveness is another tough one. I guess I hang on like you, Charlotte. Not that those old memories serve me today, except to remind me to not be too generous with those who use and abuse. Much love to you on this Monday, Charlotte!

Tamara February 26, 2018, 10:09 PM

Yes, I really do. Cassidy says I’m good at letting go but that’s because with some scenarios, you have to. They become toxic. When it’s someone being a crappy human to me, I’m less forgiving than when it’s a close loved one.

ShootingStarsMag February 26, 2018, 11:01 PM

I think it can be really difficult to forgive sometimes, especially if you’ve done so over and over again. I know I’ve had to let go of friendships because they weren’t good for me…but at the same time, I have to cut other friends some slack because we don’t always give 100%…doesn’t mean we don’t care.


Anthea February 27, 2018, 6:32 AM

Sometimes forgiveness is very difficult. I know how essential it is to move on but sometimes holding a grudge seems easier.
What I battle with is when someone takes advantage repeatedly and never gives back (and not because it isn’t possible but because they are too stingy). I’ve distanced myself from 2 people who do this. I don’t expect anything – just a shred of respect would be appreciated when my husband and I show generosity. It was too much to ask for (after over a decade) I’ve had enough. I’m not proud of myself but I feel like I have nothing left to give to two unnappreciative and disprespectful people.
It is easier to distance yourself from an unhealthy friendship but it is tricky when it comes to relatives and in-laws.
I thought expecting nothing would make it easier but when someone is rude 5 minutes after you’ve done something for them, then I lose my patience.

Shybiker February 27, 2018, 9:25 AM

Nobody’s perfect but what matters, in my opinion, is that you are trying to find the answer. That effort speaks laudably to your character. People who don’t care are the ones not worth being friends with.

Karen February 27, 2018, 2:23 PM

I forgive people easily because I think we’re all just trying our best but I also move on easily if friends are always taking and never giving. I don’t require an even exchange but you know what I mean….you show up for them when needed but they aren’t around when you need emotional support.
It must be because I’m getting older lol but I don’t have time for that anymore and I don’t feel bad either. It’s just time to part ways.

Karen @ For What It’s Worth

Kris February 27, 2018, 2:27 PM

(sigh). I find myself writing in my journal about forgiving someone, and then I get stuck in why I was angry with them in the first place. I need to get past that. I think lack of forgiveness is holding me back.

Leave a Comment