Happy New Year, sweet readers! What did you do for NYE this year? Bryan and I celebrated with his cousin’s family, which was nice and low-key after the holiday madness. Here is a rare photo, in which we both look terrible and I haven’t quite defrosted:
The year 2017 taught me many things about personal strength, determination, and the power of positive thinking. I don’t mean to speak in hyperbole here but it was a year of profound growth—both personally and professionally. Bryan and I began our fertility journey. That was difficult and emotional and it’s not something we’re willing to put behind us, but two failed rounds of IUI later, we move forward with a lot of uncertainty and trepidation. Can we afford IVF? If we try one round, will it take? Will we have enough to cover our moving expenses in the spring?
My career changed course last year and I comfortably settled in a new position. Then my security blanket was taken away from me and I felt like I was free falling for a while. I eventually found my footing. Comfort zones are overrated anyway, right?
Bryan and I traveled to Jamaica. I visited a haunted town in Nowhere, Texas with my best friend. I spent a lot of time in cars, and I breathed in the open road and thought about my life. I took in a short-term foster. Lost a good friend. Started house hunting. Paid attention. Made amends (sadly, not with aforementioned friend). Lived mindfully, at least as much as possible. Spent A LOT of time in fertility clinics. Indulged in self-care. Experienced anxiety. Learned how to say no.
My word for 2017 was SIMPLE. It was an incredible year, albeit far from simple. It was… complicated? Hairy? Scary but fun, even if those two things don’t necessarily belong together.
There are certainly things I’d like to accomplish this year, but life and experience have taught me that we ultimately have very little control, even when we are strapped into the driver’s seat.
To that end, I’d like to dedicate 2018 to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. If you’ve heard these words before, it’s because they are taken from the Serenity Prayer (I’m not that good!).
The word that will define me this year is ACCEPTANCE.
If I only accomplish one thing this year, may it be to accept myself completely for who I am. And (perhaps more importantly) to accept that whatever will be, will be.
Let’s do this, 2018.
What’s your word for the year?