On my own terms 

– Posted in: featured

Yesterday I did something unpredictable, even by my own standards. Kind of like that time I spontaneously booked a trip to the Bahamas and raised eyebrows when really all I wanted to do was to soak up a little sunshine, thankyouverymuch.

I bought myself a ticket to see Phish at MSG. Unlike all the other times when I went with a group of friends, I decided to do this one solo. On purpose. It’s possible I’ll meet up with friends before or after the show. It’s also highly likely that I’ll bump into old acquaintances in the Garden or in line at the bathroom. And though Bryan offered to come with me (and sounded a little reluctant to let me go alone), he understood my reasons.

I have come to a point in my life where I have to do things on my own terms. I intend fully to dance my ass off, and I wouldn’t dream of missing the boys when they are practically playing in my backyard, but the reality of the situation is that Phish takes me back to that initial panic attack and indoor concerts in particular are my downfall where anxiety is concerned. My nights of standing a few rows back from the stage or Page side/rage side are sadly over, but I’m content to go alone. In fact, I’m kind of looking forward to it.

The last time I saw them play at the Garden, I couldn’t help but feel bad that my friends had to make concessions just to hang out with me. Away from the center of the activity, in an area that I knew had poor sound quality because I felt like I could breathe and move around freely.

I don’t want to be a burden to my friends and ultimately, I want us all to enjoy the show.

And so I’ll go at it on my own terms.

I’m  floating in the blimp a lot
I feel the feeling I forgot
of swimming weightless in the womb
or bouncing gently ’round the room
In a minute I’ll be free
and you’ll be splashing in the sea

Photo by Anthony DELANOIX on Unsplash

16 Comments… add one
Beth July 27, 2017, 10:21 AM

Good for you doing what is best for you! Self care is important and finding a way to enjoy something is a big part of that. I hope it is a lot of fun! XO

Lynn July 27, 2017, 10:22 AM

I remember Phish. I lived in an apartment with 4 other roommates and they loved them. Good for you for coming to the decision to do things on your own terms.

Dani July 27, 2017, 12:02 PM

So many of my friends are going to the Phish concerts this week! I think that’s really considerate of you to go alone because you don’t want you friends to make concessions on your behalf. Concerts are one of the only places I don’t mind attending alone- there’s just so much energy that I don’t actually feel alone. Hope you have a great time!

ShootingStarsMag July 27, 2017, 12:20 PM

I’m glad you’re okay with going alone and that the show will probably be more enjoyable, since you won’t have to worry about other people. I’ve gone to a concert alone before – it’s fun!

Bashfully Bold July 27, 2017, 12:28 PM

Oh yah — I’m so glad you are going!!! Solo dates are the BEST!

Karen July 27, 2017, 12:29 PM

Good for you! Do what makes you feel comfortable & on your own terms.

I had the worst panic attack of my life front row at a concert. It took me a long time to be able to go back to them and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be packed in again in the front row but I have fun.
For What It’s Worth

StephTheBookworm July 27, 2017, 3:20 PM

Go you! I used to go to quite a few concerts until I came to the realization that I really didn’t like them much – crowds, loud noises, etc. are not for me. I’m confident that you will end up having a wonderful time and go you for doing this on YOUR TERMS!

lisa thomson July 27, 2017, 6:12 PM

Way to go, Charlotte! This is awesome. You have to enjoy things on your terms for sure and I admire your confidence in doing just that! Hugs!

Shannon July 27, 2017, 7:06 PM

I went to a phantogram concert alone this march and had such a good time!

Shybiker July 27, 2017, 7:47 PM

Good for you! I love to do things alone. You’re free to act without having to take others into account. More people should try it.

Akaleistar July 27, 2017, 8:28 PM

Life feels so much better when you can do things on your own terms 🙂

Emily July 28, 2017, 3:31 PM

Good for you! I love to go to places alone. I think everyone should go to the movies, museum, etc. alone at least once.

Tamara July 31, 2017, 1:57 PM

I hope, if it hasn’t happened yet, that you get a donut.
And I hope, if it hasn’t happened yet, that you see Cassidy there. He is going three nights this week.
I love doing things alone but I have never gone to a concert alone. That’s odd because that would be my ultimate place to go alone! Perhaps I will.

Lindsay July 31, 2017, 2:53 PM

Sometimes we just NEED to do things on our own or for ourselves, for many reasons, ya know? And while it’s always nice to have our partners with us, sometimes we just need to push and do things for ourselves, for our own well being and GROWTH.

It may turn out that this is and was the best decision you could have ever made. <3 In any event, I hope you enjoy yourself babe.


San July 31, 2017, 5:25 PM

As you know, I recently went to a concert alone (and then went to run a race alone) and I totally loved it. I would have enjoyed doing it with a friend, no doubt, but doing it for myself and by myself was absolutely thrilling! 🙂

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