“Free Coldplay CD today.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks, hun. I’ll check it out.”
Twenty minutes later.
“Yes, Bryan.” (!!!)
“Tea is whistling!”
This is the true story (TRUE STOR-EEE!) of two highly frazzled people stuck at home on a snow day. It’s kind of like The Real World (but without the free pizza, limitless booze, and lavish apartment dwellings).
In an advanced study conducted by one of my three coworkers, 3 in 3 women can not get shit done when their significant others are around.*
If you find yourself stuck at home with your partner on a snowy day, here are some ways you can avoid killing each other (as told by a couple of 30-something-year-olds who have succeeded in not killing each other).
- Reach out to your support system. I’m eternally grateful to have wonderful friends who understand and can sympathize with the fact that there is a direct correlation between feeling held captive and wanting to rip your hair out piece by piece. Do not take things out on your roommate—go to your bubbly friends instead.
- Close the damn door. This morning Bryan alternated between listening to the weather report and a car auction. I’ll take the news any day. Have you ever listened to the sounds of people trying to sell a car? It’s like a thousand nails on a chalkboard. It is too early for a cocktail?
- Do your work. I know this is easier said than done, but I find that sometimes I just have to retreat into my cave and focus on the tasks for the day. Plus, I feel a certain sense of accomplishment when I can cross items off my list.
- Respect each other’s privacy. This one is incredibly important. If your spouse likes to watch TV, let him (or her) and move yourself to an area of your home where this won’t disturb you. If you are on a deadline, let your partner know and don’t bark when they come in to ask questions. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
When in doubt, find an adorable tiger cub to play with.
And that’s all she wrote. I’m sure there are other ways to not kill each other but I’ll let you figure that out on your own. I’m just trying to get over the fact that more snow is directly proportional to my growing waistline, my growing inability to go to the gym, and my growing laziness in general.
Dear Winter, please end. Love, me
*Thank you, Erica, for always making me laugh. You are the sunshine and unicorns and puppies in a basket on a day filled with suck.