life imitating art

– Posted in: on writing/blogging, other

life is a journey

Life has been chaotic, fun, crazy, and overwhelming the past few weeks. In my down time, I’ve been obsessively watching Breaking Bad (don’t you dare spoil anything; I’m only on season 4!) and can’t believe what I’m seeing each night on this ridiculous mind-fuck of a show. I always love when a good writer can keep me guessing. And really, that’s what it’s all about, right? I think sometimes we forget that behind every great movie and TV show lives an imaginative cast of writers with a mission to carry the viewer along for the ride.

Back when Sex and the City was all the rage, I remember how completely I identified with these four women and how intricate, fun, and creative the story lines were (well, to a point. I couldn’t relate to having a lifestyle that would enable me to drop hundreds on Manolo Blahniks). Like any other 20-something-year-old, I wanted to BE Carrie Bradshaw. Not since have I found a female protagonist who resonated with me in quite the same way until I heard Camille Braverman have a conversation with her husband Zeek on the show Parenthood recently.

Here we have a woman who is in a very poetic and reflective “third act” in life. After raising four children and seeing the birth of her grandchildren, she has decided that it is finally her time. Heartfelt scenes depict Camille and Zeek discussing the future of their home: she wants to sell and move into a smaller condo, but her husband is having a hard time letting go. He fondly remembers each corner of the house where their children married and where memories were made.

“I want more,” she says.

She tells him of her already made plans to travel to Italy with her painting class… alone.

I watched this scene and wanted to reach out to Camille. Despite the years that stand between us and the life experiences that distinguish us, I understood.

I want more.

I get it from my mother. Each year, she travels to Europe–solo–for roughly three weeks. She walks away from her marriage, responsibilities, and life to reconnect with the many friends and family members she left behind more than 30 years ago.

To some, it seems selfish–flighty even–but for her, it’s a necessary part of her sanity and wellbeing.

She wants more.

What I want to know is–why is this considered such a bad thing? Isn’t it healthy to want to grow in life and participate in experiences that will transform and challenge us?

I absolutely love where I am and the life that I have created with Bryan, but I will always want more: more travel, greater experiences, a dog, a child. And I don’t think it’s a bad thing to reach for the impractical dreams and the seemingly unobtainable.

What does more mean to you?

10 Comments… add one
Rachel Cotterill November 11, 2013, 11:31 AM

I always want more experiences, more travel, more food 😉 Not that I don’t enjoy and appreciate what I have, but I do so love variety of experience. But you’ve met me, you know what I’m like… xx

Jessica November 11, 2013, 1:20 PM

I think I’m wired to always want more too but it depends on what part of life I’m in. Right now I’m in full-on mom mode and I want more kids and I will probably want more for a long time until I’m ready for the next phase and then I will want more time to write or travel or do whatever I decide is next. I think that is awesome that your mom does that. Unfortunately there is such a double standard when it comes to women putting themselves first.

Trish November 12, 2013, 10:38 AM

When I think of having “more” it reminds me of my grandpa who passed away a couple of years ago. He worked so hard all his life but he was also an adventurer. When I was a kid I remember thinking that he seemed larger than life. He ended up realizing his dream of moving to Hawaii where he lived out the last years of his life, still as adventurous as ever. He knew what fed his soul and he went after it. That will always be what having more means to me 🙂

Tyesha November 12, 2013, 11:20 AM

When I think of more it can be looked at in so many ways. I always stay on my kids when they say they wish they had more of this or that and I always explain to them the importance of being grateful for what they do have because there are others who are less fortunate and would love to have the things they have. I think in life we are all guilty of wishing and wanting more.

Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting on my blog.

Krysten November 12, 2013, 3:49 PM

I think it makes me sad that Zeek doesn’t want more with her. Like he’s given up and is ready to just live out the rest of his life where he is. That is so not what life is about.

Shefali November 12, 2013, 4:47 PM

I can totally relate to wanting to walk away for sometime from my regular life. I haven’t seen the show, but I get what she wants. I want so many of those things too.

Alison November 12, 2013, 9:30 PM

I do want more. I think about it a lot. I know that I’m putting many things on hold now because my children are still young, but I know that the moment I can, I will reach out to my hopes and dreams, and yes, that involves walking away from what I have now, temporarily. If we never leave, how do we know we’ll miss it? If we don’t take time for us, how do we give of ourselves fully?

trininista November 16, 2013, 5:45 PM

I want more creative freedom and I guess I have to reach out and go after that, but I am letting myself be shackled by corporate life. I want more adventure, more “wow” moments, but in recent weeks, I also realise I have so much and I am so blessed when compared to so many others that I smile and think, “wow”. 🙂

Kim Miller November 17, 2013, 5:46 PM

As a forty something mom of two teens I totally get it, however where I am right now doesn’t really allow that. Both my kids are dealing with chronic illness, and a dad who has decided its “his time” and is absent from their lives for months at a time. What I CAN do is get more right now WITH my kids. They are old enough to do things with me that I would enjoy- we take turns picking the restaurant each of us craves or the day trip to take. They suffer through my choice of a museum ( to do it FOR me) and then find out it was “cooler” than they thought.They are willing to compromise and give me a taste of that with them. There will be time for me all alone later, just to catch up with friends, but for now this works, and we are getting the “more” you talk about together, and expanding their horizons as well. I feel blessed that they WANT to do these things with me/for me, at least on a rotating basis and know it will make them better partners/spouses/friends in the grand scheme of things.

Jillian November 20, 2013, 10:24 AM

Wanting more is natural for most of us I believe. It’s what pushes us forward and gives us hope for tomorrow. Unfortunately, many people have been taught to be content with what you have and that wanting more is totally selfish. Not so! What a sad life we would all have if it were not for hopes and dreams of a more fulfilled life shared with those we love most.

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