My baby cousin is going to get married in just a few short days. I say this as though we’re both still looking for treasure and digging in the dirt in his parent’s backyard in Queens. Memories–both dormant and seemingly forgotten–have been coming to life in the past few weeks. Consider it nostalgia, call it wistful musings; I can’t help but reflect on what was.
(But I’ll get back to that in just a bit.)
I’m told it’s entirely normal that in the light of my move (in less than a week!) with Bryan, I will begin to think of the past. Four and a half years ago, I moved to this apartment to recover from a heartache. Moving in with Bryan and away from Hoboken is a testament not only to how deeply I have fallen and how much I am ready to embrace this new phase, but how willing I am to shed my ties with a city that has made an indelible impression on me. Finding Bryan has taught me much more about love, commitment, and perseverance than I could ever express in words. (For once, at a loss).
Lately I’ve had a series of dreams involving my ex which has thrown me for a bit of a loop. I was happy to have him crossed from my mind and floating thoughts. When I spoke about this to a few girlfriends, they confided that they experienced something similar before walking down the aisle. It has to do with giant life changes, they explained. Though part of me wants to know the reason behind these dreams, I am learning to accept that there are times when we have to laugh about life’s little absurdities and wonder if maybe greater forces and powers beyond have a strange sense of humor. That’s all the weight these dreams are allowed to have in my life.
Because really, who cares?
On Saturday, I’ll watch my cousin marry his best friend. The same cousin who used to sit next to me to watch the Muppets is now a grown man with responsibilities and dreams about the future.
We grow, we learn, we evolve and life becomes a little less complicated when we finally learn to trust our intuition.
Namaste, my friends.