Many moons ago, in a lifetime far away, and in a world before Bryan, I received a call from an ex fling just months before he was to get married.
“Come on,” he crooned softly into the phone, “just one drink.” I gave in and met him alone one evening in a dimly lit bar in the village after a sushi dinner mere blocks away with my friends.
This was trouble and yet I willingly met him after he had already kicked back several drinks, knowing full well about my inability to resist adulterous thoughts in the months following my own painful split.
The evening started just like any other. We caught up, talked about mutual friends, upcoming plans for the summer, and the many Phish shows we had lined up.
And then he reached over the table to kiss me.
Never once did he mention that he was planning on walking down the aisle in a few months, and here I was, effectively enabling him to cheat on the future mother of his kids.
Our meet-up was a terrible idea. The sexual chemistry was electrifying and I had to restrain myself from cornering him to taste temptation once again.
Years later (coincidentally, just a few weeks ago), I had a similar experience, though this one never made it in to the pages of Adultery Times.
I received a text message from a past lover (coincidentally this was another Phish friend). He asked me about the upcoming tour and we chatted briefly. Nothing scandalous. Years of soul searching have taught me boundaries and wistful misgivings don’t stand a chance when I think of a future with Bryan.
Just two weeks after harmless banter with the old fling, I pulled up Facebook on my computer one night and saw that his fiancee had given birth to a beautiful son.
Never once did he mention that he was expecting a baby and that his life was about to take a drastic turn. It was as if he wanted to prove that his priorities were the same as they had always been.
Which brings me to a question I have been dying to ask of you all.
Are all men doomed to falter in the face of responsibility? Are they more concerned with convincing themselves they are desirable creatures capable of flirting than they are of putting the days of their youth behind them?
Or am I reading into this all too much?