– Posted in: work

Last night was not unlike any other but this morning I woke up with vivid recollections of the dreams that occupied my mind and I was alarmed. I don’t usually have bad dreams, but for months I have had a series of them despite the fact that I constantly try to summon up happy thoughts before falling asleep at night. Sometimes my dreams are benign and I dream about my parents adopting additional dogs. Many times they are silly like the one I had about Justin Long a few days ago. Despite the fact that I always think about Bryan before I go to bed, he has sadly not yet made an appearance in my evening visions.

But last night I had a dream that I was surrounded by women who had committed suicide in my workplace. It was so vivid, I trembled. So disturbing, I turned away. One hanged herself in the bathroom; the other in my cubicle.

Just yesterday I was telling a friend that the work environment has turned a bit toxic, but good God, it’s not that bad. I am keeping my options open and would like to find something that suits my lifestyle a bit better. I’d love to focus more on my writing and would therefore love to find something part-time on the side even though I worry about how I’ll pay the bills and what I’ll do for health insurance. Part of me is done with the rat race and working in Manhattan in general. This isn’t the first time I’ve said this, but it is the first time I’m actively searching, networking, and floating around my resume.

Because I really want a different course.

And I don’t want to have dreams like that ever again.

Have you ever had a dream/series of dreams this disturbing? Did they eventually stop when you changed something that was bothering you?

17 Comments… add one
Jessica February 21, 2012, 12:12 PM

First I have to say I am SO SO sorry for not visiting you as often as I should lately. I think of you often but haven’t had the time online I usually do. Second I hope you find a job you are in love with, hate having those kinds of dreams.

Brian February 21, 2012, 12:22 PM

Sounds like you really gotta change office environments, that sort of toxic air is not acceptable by any means.

Nikki February 21, 2012, 12:37 PM

I have been there. When I was in the throes of a decaying marriage, for example, I used to dream that there was always something preventing me from speaking. In most of them, there would be shards of glass, slivers of plastic, splinters of wood, etc., in my mouth. And I would pull them out, but more would come. I sort of took it to mean that my voice wasn’t being heard, that I couldn’t express what I needed to say, even though I kept trying (in waking times, by going to therapy; in dream, by continuing to pull these things from my mouth). I also experienced a surge in these dreams when my brother passed away, so he would be standing there, waiting for me to speak to him, and I couldn’t, and then he would walk away.

Eventually, yes, they do work themselves out, and they go away. Even just having a plan (you mentioned networking, resume-floating, etc) might help.

In the meantime, you can try a relaxation technique before you go to sleep. It involves focused thought/relaxation. You can start with your toes, and just think “relax, toes, relax… relax, feet, relax…” and focus on relaxing each and every part of your body. Don’t even really think too much, just get into a rhythm. That may help clear your mind of some of the troubles and put you at ease for a more restful sleep.

Krysten February 21, 2012, 12:41 PM

I’ve been really stressed out about work and I can tell it’s the reason for my insomnia and bad dreams. I have nightmares about work and when I’m not having nightmares I toss and turn from worry. And that’s TERRIBLE because I’m a darn server in a restaurant! I shouldn’t be this stressed from that kind of job!

Sounds like you and I both need a change.

Karen Peterson February 21, 2012, 6:10 PM

In the five years I’ve worked here, I’ve had two nightmares that were directly related to my job and both of them were just awful. I hate stress dreams.

I hope you find something that makes you happy and lets you do what you want to do!

(And I hope Bryan makes an appearance in your dreams very soon!)

Bryan February 22, 2012, 2:45 AM

Well Karen P I keep telling myself I don’t need to make an appearance in her dreams hoping she finally realizes I’m real/reality… Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself (hoping – fingers crossed) these days!!! Either way I’m hoping one of these days I make an appearance in her dreams…. It still would be nice to hear knowing she’s always in mine. Man I should get the Nobel “Cheese” Prize!!!

Try not to always dwell on the negative Mooi… And though this sounds awful, we truly don’t know what they mean. Maybe you’re watching your coworkers “kill” themselves working at a company that doesn’t care about them…. Or maybe this means you’re “hurting” them because your heart isn’t in it anymore ya know… Who knows my love. I’m here for you as know 🙂

Gia February 22, 2012, 7:29 AM

Ooph! Dreams like that are so hard to shake off. But I, for one, do really believe in the power of dreams. I don’t base my life choices alone on what I may experience but I think they can sometimes guide us. Especially, when it comes to such a vivid dream like you had.

If you find yourself continuously thinking about leaving the place you work in now then it may very well be time. It’s scary to bid adieu to security but I am sure you will find something much more rewarding that only leaves you with the sweetest dreams each night!

Hugs! Hopefully no nightmares interrupted your sleep last night! xo

Blond Duck February 22, 2012, 8:01 AM

I have the same bad dream over and over and over.

Mark February 22, 2012, 9:24 AM

Find a job in Construction. It’s mostly men!
See where I’m going with this?

KLZ February 22, 2012, 3:39 PM

I frequently have nightmares when I’m stressed. Hope yours pass quickly!

Melissa @ Completely Eclipsed February 23, 2012, 12:10 PM

Dreams that are that horrific and vivid can be hard to shake off. I lived in the city for a long time and the stress and hectic pace can really wear you down. Maybe see if you can get away for a weekend, some fresh air to clear your head. Hopefully you can find out what you really want to do. Stopping by from SITS.

Date Girl February 23, 2012, 2:25 PM

I hate disturbing dreams like that. I had all kinds of nightmares when I was at my last job. It was definitely a sign I needed to move on. I hope you are able to find something better suited for you!

liz February 24, 2012, 7:44 AM

Oh wow, Charlotte! That IS disturbing! I’m sorry you had such a vivid and depressing dream.

Good for you for keeping your options open! It doesn’t hurt to float your resume out there. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

trininista February 24, 2012, 4:23 PM

I think I am usually too exhausted to dream. Hope your dreams lead you to the right place. Follow your heart. It often never lies.

Star Traci February 26, 2012, 12:43 PM

What a terrible dream! I think that is a clue about your work environment.

As to dreams, after my brother died, I would dream of that night a lot. I kept dreaming that I knew he was going to die and I was going to save him. I would always get there too late. I did that night after night for months. It was so horrible.

I wish you better dreams.

(FL) Girl with a New Life February 27, 2012, 4:21 PM

Dreams are such a reflection of what is going on inside of us, though yours sounds pretty terrifying.

I’m positive once your start turning your intentions in the right direction the dreams will taper off. I used to have dreams about my bosses hitting on me. Ha.

Alexandra March 7, 2012, 9:40 PM

Yes, once you get back into doing what your body needs: sleep, exercise, relax, fun. The dreams will stop.

I have been stressed: so much to do, my kids growing up too fast, and I had a dream: trying to hide my littlest from I don’t know who.

But I would pick him up and hide him all over the house.

I think it meant to hide him from time. Time that will steal him from me.

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