That being said, I gotta’ hand it to New Yorkers, because I think we are at least a bit more forthcoming about our wants/needs than in other parts of the world, namely Australia, where a roundabout approach seems to be the favored method. And it appears we’re not the only ones mourning the death of the old fashioned phone call. Please welcome the lovely Rihanne as she offers her take on dating down under and be sure to check out Sweety Text Messages to send a loved one an actual romantic message–they do still exist (no sexting, please!).
Australians do things a little differently than the rest of the world – for example: supposedly, we all talk like Steve Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter) and eat our national emblems (Kangaroo and Emu).
And when it comes to dating? Australians can leave people scratching their heads saying crikey!
It is so…very confusing.
Before the date – Texting versus Calling
With the invention of texting (along with finger cramps) comes vague and lazy ways to ask people out. It seems Australians love texting and chatting before going on the date: only irritating but also more than likely, it can create confusion.
There is this little thing that makes communication fully functional. It is tone. Sarcasm is just not the same and you often wonder does ‘LOL’ really mean they are “laughing out loud”? What happened to the days when a guy asked for a woman’s number to call her?
A call takes little to no effort. And think of the hours of texting you will save!
3 minutes later… “Hi. How are you going?”
5 minutes later… “Good. U?”
10 minutes later… “Just woke up.”
1 hour later… “LOL nice.”
Next day… “So what you doing?”
Need we say more?
During the date – ‘[Hanging Out]’ versus a ‘Date’
Once the date is secured…hang on, we missed how the date is established. Oh wait, no we did not! Because Australians not only text instead of calling. But instead of dinner and a movie they “hang out”.
What is hanging out?
Well, this is when they bring their friends and you have yours and you grab a beer down at the pub.
Not at all.
Does ‘hanging out’ mean you are ‘dating’? Is a drink at the pub with mates even ‘datey’ enough?
And as if the concept of ‘hanging out’ is not confusing enough, Australian dating has reached a new level of ridiculous! To the point where you don’t even know when someone is interested.
A woman going out with a group of friends. They are all laughing, dancing and having fun. One male friend smiles to her, but then again he is smiling at everyone. He does not make any move – no accidental brush of the arm, no holding each other’s gaze – nothing what-so-ever, and the woman does not think much of it.
At the end of the night, after taking off her shoes – sighing with the relief of feet freedom – she gets a text from her male friend:
“I only went out for you.”
What are these Australian guys thinking? How is it possible to get signs when there appears to be none?
And what is with this blurred line of dating, hanging out and hooking up?
After the ‘date’ – Clarity and (you guessed it) Confusion??
Over the next week, it is possible that this ‘dating’ (if you can really call it that) will have you obsessing over your phone.
Tip: hide it so you can try to stop checking it!
What kind of dating system allows this sort of behavior?
That’s right – Australian Dating.
The compulsive need to re-check the phone after you looked at it only 3 minutes before may have to do with the need for clarification.
Let us clarify.
After all the texting before the ‘date’ and the questionable activities on the ‘date’, there is bound to be more confusion after the ‘date’.
Is he just a friend?
Aren’t we just ‘hanging out’?
Does he like me?
Sure, the continued ‘texting tennis’ (bouncing text messages back and forth) is meant to help clarify these questions. But, really all you end up with is more questions!
Do I like him?
I wonder when I will see him again?
But hold on…we are just friends…right?
As summed up in ‘It’s Just a Date’, dating is “too confusing, too casual, too grey and not black and white.”
So, how do we cure this epidemic of lazy Australian dating?
Do Australian men need to start picking up the slack and learn from their American counterparts?
Are Australian women encouraging this behavior by accepting it?
Let us know what you think!
To find out more about dating in Australia and other parts of the world (including New York!), check out 3six5dates. Follow as four women in four cities take on 365 dates between them.
Rhianne Butler is a writer for 3six5dates when she is not busy texting or ‘hanging out’ with Australian guys. You can follow her on Twitter @RhianneButler or on LinkedIn here.