I’ll have to keep this post short. I have one foot out the door but I’ve kind of missed my little corner of the blogosphere. Despite the fact that I have been posting far more frequently lately, my posts haven’t been personal in nature, and, well, I’ve missed them.
I am a firm believer in signs, serendipity, cosmic connections, and an irrational order to the universe that sometimes defies all explanation. But I stopped paying attention to anything that came close to resembling any of these things because I was stuck in a pit of self-pity for the last four weeks as a result of a stomach bug, change in diet, a canceled trip to see Phish in Chicago, and overall “woe is me” syndrome. That all changed yesterday when I was literally assaulted with signs and I understood something very clearly:
Everything’s gonna’ be alright.
I made an appointment to speak with someone in town about battling anxiety (an unfortunate side effect of my recent food allergies). In a session that lasted about an hour, we discovered one of the many roots to the problem and I left feeling as though a giant weight had been lifted. As I stepped out of this kind woman’s office and on to a side street in Hoboken, a Jeep passed playing “Stealing Time from the Faulty Plan,” a song off the latest Phish album. Strange, I thought, since there are about three Phishheads in town and I thought I knew them all (and even text messaged fist-bumper to see if that may have been him).
A few minutes later, I heard from an old friend. And by “old friend” I mean very handsome NYC firefighter I may have had a tryst or two with in the past. I was feeling good and sexy for the first time in weeks and thought it might be fun to engage in another romp.
It was just what the doctor ordered.
On my way back, I grabbed the 6 train heading downtown, stepped into a crowded car, and noticed a musician playing “Divided Sky,” one of my favorite Phish songs. I got up from my seat about two stops too soon so I could make out his sweet face and when I reached 34th, I smiled at him and thanked him for the Phish.
I suddenly didn’t feel so bad about my canceled trip to Chicago because I realized that what I really needed was some time to take care of myself. And I think that all these signs indicate that I did just the right thing.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some catching up to do before the summer completely passes me by.