Sorry for my sporadic posting the last few weeks but I’ve been running on little sleep (not to mention a depleting bank account). I did guest post in three different places last week, so at least I wasn’t entirely MIA from the bloggy world, right?
Here’s a quick recap of where I’ve been:
Last Monday, I met my Norwegian cousin and her friend for the first time and took them to a wine bar and Indian restaurant in midtown Manhattan. Tuesday my friend scored ridiculously cheap tickets to see the Beatles tribute show Rain on Broadway (fantastic). Wednesday = Bikram. Thursday was Cinco do Mayo so I ate my weight in guacamole and kicked back some margaritas with some of my very fabulous coworkers in Hell’s Kitchen. I thought I should end the week with a bang and so it was that after work on Friday I ventured over to 230 Fifth, a swanky rooftop bar, where I dropped more money than is ever necessary on apps and drinks. It was a delicious week.
I’ve decided to follow your advice and am going to attempt a three-guy rotation until I find someone I mesh with well enough to keep in my life on a steady basis. I’ve had some trouble with men lately and want a fresh start. Let’s go down the list of awesomely bad prospects, shall we?
Bear (Albanian bartender I barely remember but made out with at a club a few weeks ago): We’ve been texting back and forth and tried setting up a sangria date. Fortunately, I wasn’t able to find the time. I say fortunately because he told me I was making it hard on him and that he was going to “hit me badly.” Nothing like threatening violence with a girl you have yet to hang out with! I hate to fade away without explanation, but honestly, that shit scares me. So I have ignored him and have since received NINE text messages. When do you think he will get the hint and leave me the eff alone?
Roberto (27-year-old Boston transplant I made out with at the same club because I am 21 all over again): Sweet as tupelo honey, but I was annoyed after he insisted on having frequent phone conversations. As much as I mourn the death of late-night pillow talk, I hate having to schedule 30-minute chats with someone I barely know. Especially when I have friends I’m dying to reconnect with and it’s hard to coordinate schedules. He got frustrated trying to make plans and gave a polite send-off, which I appreciated.
Ariel (the sweet guy my cousin’s girlfriend tried setting me up with): He told me that because of our back and forth emails, he was under the impression I wasn’t interested and that he’s now pretty serious with someone else. Just two weeks after our first date and already he’s engaged. But he wants to hang out again as friends and I’m cool with that. Ariel is good peoples.
Scott (recent friend with benefits): Last Sunday I invited him to come to the Arts and Music festival in Hoboken with me. I hadn’t seen him since we slept together and he invited his friend, a big pink elephant, to spend the day with us. He nearly guillotined his finger on the window in my living room, took photographs of me on the couch, and then read me emails he had received from other girls on OkCupid. It was a strange day.
As you can see, I’m at a loss. And despite my best efforts to get my swerve on with cute bluegrass boy (who is either extremely shy or completely disinterested), I am left to troll the underbelly of OkCupid some more. Here’s hoping this next batch delivers or I am running off with the circus.