So far, I’ve had a bit more luck on OKCupid than I did on Match.com. But it’s far from a walk in the park, let me tell you. I’ve been emailing back and forth with one guy who seems interested in keeping this relationship online only. Then just yesterday I received an email from someone who, when asked what people first notice about him, responded by saying “I don’t talk much.” Oh, and let’s not forget about the guy who said he hates it when men discuss the size of their manhood in their profiles… only to finish by saying that women would be very pleased with the size of his manhood.
Oh, and it gets better.
A few nights ago while doing a keyword search for Phish on OKCupid (as I do), I came across Ethan’s profile. Same guy who told me he was too busy to hang out had a profile on another dating service. And he was active! Too busy my ass.
I could allow these events to stop me in my tracks, but I refuse to allow that to happen. I realize that putting myself out there means it’s essential to have a healthy outlook on the dating world. It’s not always easy, but I have to remind myself that I deserve better and I won’t dare settle for anything less.
Because every now and then, a nice guy comes along.
I found Nate’s profile the other night (turns out we’re 90% compatible. And we met at a party a few weeks ago and have friends in common, but that’s for another post). He’s a kind, funny, smart, liberal, and handsome boy from Brooklyn. He posted a pic with his mommy and a link to beagle puppies. He believes in bringing soup when his lady is sick and hopes it isn’t a problem that he likes to drive.
I smiled to myself and knew I had to wink at him. An hour later, he emailed me back. I get the impression he’s not looking to mess around and I find that extremely refreshing. There’s a good chance we’ll have a date this week, but I know not to get too excited.
What’s strange is that I found myself questioning his motives. I discussed this with my friend Nicole and she essentially affirmed how jaded we have become. How fucked up is it when we can’t just accept that a nice guy on paper could actually be a nice guy in real life?