This past weekend I celebrated the recent engagement of a dear friend from college to his long term girlfriend. We went out for dinner and drinks in Queens and then moved to an awesome bar in Williamsburg called Barcade. Think Qbert, Paperboy, Pac-Man, Frogger. I sucked at them all but I blame it on the pitcher of mango margaritas and the absurd amount of captain-and-cokes I consumed before attempting to play any of them.
My college friends are perhaps not so subtly trying to set me up with one of their friends: a wonderful, sweet, adorable, hippie/vegetarian. Not only do we have a similar upbringing and outlook on life, but he impressed me by tearing off a piece of paper towel, folding it in two, and then tucking the unused portion on top of the roll. This, my friends, is the key to my eco-friendly heart.
We have spent a bit of time together away from our friends and so far conversation flows smoothly without too many awkward pauses. Brandon came out Friday night and we raised our glasses and toasted our friends together, played some video games, and stepped outside for the occasional cigarette.
As the night drew to a close, we rode the Manhattan-bound L train together, and he asked if he could walk me back to my apartment. Being that I could barely walk on my own, I didn’t think this was such a bad idea.
By the time we made it back to Hoboken, I had a pounding headache and realized that a recent bout with Aunt Flow meant I was Ibuprofin-less. I sat down next to him on the couch and he started to kiss me. Gentle. Soft. But I panicked because he is 26 and I think at 31 that might officially make me a cougar.
I can’t get past this. I’m wondering if it’s normal to feel this way and if it would ever be possible to move beyond the fact that there are five years separating us. There are, however, other factors that contribute to me holding back as well. As I mentioned before, he’s a wonderful human being—the kind I should take home to meet the parents. But typically, I’m not attracted to guys like that. I like the bad boys. He’s also not someone I want to experiment with because I foresee hurt feelings and complications within the circle of friends. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I want desperately to sleep around a bit, make up for lost time, and enjoy this single girl status I’m starting to get the hang of.
Even still, it was nice to share the bed again. To spoon and feel desired, if only for a night.
I also just found out that the boy who twirled me on the lawn at the Phish show in Hartford earlier this summer is also 26. I’m thinking I should play that number in the lottery this week.
Would you date a younger guy and how young is too young? Cougars in training need to know.
Him being 26 hardly makes you a cougar. I think your other reasons for not wanting to get involved are far more valid. But he sounds like a nice guy. Be honest with him about your need not to jump into another relationship right now and see what happens.
.-= Shana´s last blog ..I’m such a trooper… =-.
Well, lady, technically we are PUMAS because cougars are in their 40’s. 😉
I am a year older than you. And yes I would date that young. I’ve always dated guys younger than me. My husband is younger than me by a year and a half. When I lived in LA, I dated a guy that was 23 when I was 29. He was immature though and there is something to be said for maturity. 26 is a lot less scary than 23. 🙂
I think you should hang out with him more and see where it takes you.
Oh and there is a Barcade out in LA too! I went one time and had such a blast!
.-= Salt´s last blog ..I’m all about helping out today…plus I’m someone’s favorite! =-.
Go for the younger guys. With the exception of two exes my best relationships were with younger guys. I am actually looking at the possibility of younger guys again…the old ones have just been creepy LOL There’s a stigma when it comes to younger men that their age is in direct relation with being immature…but from personal experience this is not always the case. And it does not make you a cougar.
.-= Bonda84´s last blog ..Epiphany =-.
Thanks for stopping by! I worked at The Madison and boy do I miss their Yuka Fries!! A bunch of the Jets and Giants players live in the Tea Building. Not sure if Eli’s still there but he was when I left.
As for the younger guy thing I definitely get that! Following my 29th (ick) birthday in April the few guys I’ve hooked up with since have been around 25/26. While it’s not 6 years, the 4 year difference definitely seemed weird to me. I’m all about having fun at this point though 🙂
.-= Hutch´s last blog ..My encounter with the Manning Dynasty =-.
he is definitely not too young!!! embrace it and enjoy your time together without overthinking (this from an overthinker) Did I ever mention that during my time in Queens I used to take the M line from Fresh Pond Rd. Your post brings back memories!
.-= carma´s last blog ..The Unconventional Soccer Player =-.
You cougar! J/k
I don’t think that’s too young.
And well- date the bad boys, but marry the good ones.
I would suck at the arcade games, too – I blame it on an insufficiently-misspent childhood 😉
I honestly think five years is nothing. I’m 27 and I have close friends (which I know is a different thing, but bear with me) ranging from late teens to early sixties. Age is just a number. Would you think twice about dating a man 5 years older than you? I’m guessing not so much. Older man/younger woman just seems to be one of those societal things, but once everyone is an adult, I don’t see there’s much in it beyond that. (But then, my husband is *cough*-teen years older than me… so I’ve done my share of ignoring funny looks from people who think we’re odd).
.-= Rachel Cotterill´s last blog ..Playing With The Boys =-.
If he a a great guy and you are having fun with him I say just hang out with him for a bit to see where it goes. There are some guys that age that are mature & have themselves together by then. It is not like you are 30 and he just turned 21.
If age is the the ONLY thing that bothers you… you have to give him a chance because there are enough guys that are the same age as us that have tons of issues and baggage. Get them while they are young before they get corrupt! :))))))
Sounds like you’re letting a silly thing like a number stand in the way of something fantastic. You and Brandon clearly have a connection, and it’s my experience that those don’t come around very often….so they shouldn’t be taken lightly. This papertowel ripping hippie sounds like the real deal…I wouldn’t be so quick to let him get away!
Everyone else is right!! Five years is nothing. I have always dated younger men because they have just been more fun and open than the age-appropriate men I’ve met. I know what you mean about wanting to take advantage of your single-ness, but keep your mind open to all possibilities. He sounds like a really good match for you!
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Are we there yet =-.
That isn’t much of an age difference. Really, if it were a 31 year old guy and 26 year old girl, no one would think anything of it!
.-= Lamb´s last blog ..Thank You- Thank You SITS Repost =-.
Umm, 26 and 31 is a perfect age difference… hardly one at all! And, 31 is NOT even nearing cougar status. I think it sounds like you aren’t finished sewing your oats yet (guess that analogy doesn’t really work for women), and your resistance to dating seriously is not really about his age at all. That’s just my take on things, but I don’t know you at all.
I’m a tad older than you, but still in my 30’s, and I’ve determined I’m taking it a lot more physically slow with the next men I meet. And, I’m also dating several at a time whenever I can. I’ve been choosing poorly, and that stopped after I got rid of the last one about a year ago. A great way to weed out the jerks is to make ’em wait, so that’s my plan.
.-= FabuLeslie´s last blog ..Gonna Fly Now- Sweat Spray- and Dogtoberfest =-.
you would have loved my grandmother. she used to wash papertowels, hang them to dry, and reuse them. i’m being totally serious.
not that you’d want to date my grandmother or anything, but still… 🙂
.-= Tiffany´s last blog ..A little help from my friends =-.
Five years? Five schmyrs! Just do it, man. But let him know “you’re not in it for love” as Shania Twain once said (…I did not just say that, did I?). Enjoy, drink, be merry. 😉
.-= Balkan Girl Down Under´s last blog ..Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death- I will fear no evil- for thou art with me =-.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with dating a younger guy. I can see how you might be a little hesitant, but you know to never judge a book by its cover. 🙂
.-= kat´s last blog ..post-bachelor disorder- otherwise known as Grad School =-.
Nope nothing wrong with it in my opinion. You should go for it.
.-= OwnerSingle´s last blog ..My Boyfriend Craig =-.