Today’s post is written for the Lady Bloggers Society, an overwhelmingly supportive group of bloggers I am immensely excited to be a part of. The submission is on women of achievement and while I do not in the slightest way possible feel I am worthy of inclusion in such a category, here is a post about what I am proud to have achieved in the last year. Hope this finds you all well in body and in mind.
In all my years on this planet, I have never experienced such a major life transformation as I have in the past twelve months. I hardly recognize the self-confident person I see staring back in the mirror, the one who no longer cares what others think of her because she is finally happy with herself. It’s a wonderful feeling. But this didn’t all occur overnight. In order to get to where I am today, I had to leave behind a mountain of hurt and tears and valleys of self-doubt and insecurity.
Last July, I took a step back from the life I was living and realized I wasn’t quite happy. There was something big missing and I didn’t know what it was until I found myself in one of the most beautiful and romantic places in the world—Hawaii. I managed to have a wonderful time (I mean, how can you NOT?) but it was on the island of Kauai that I realized my boyfriend of six years was no longer in love with me. Though he never told me so, the lack of an engagement ring and missed opportunities at romance were enough of an indication that I had to leave it all behind to focus on myself for awhile.
And that’s just what I did. After returning from that trip, I began to pack my life away: the little trinkets we had collected over the years from friends and family, the many books I had either read 100 times or had never picked up at all, all the clothing, the wall décor. I stuffed it all in boxes and bags, we said our goodbyes, and I moved out of the apartment we shared.
And I felt sorry for myself.
I didn’t come to for a few months, but when I did, I did it with gusto. I immersed myself in all the activities I had once found so enjoyable. I started this blog and began to connect with women around the world who had experienced similar breakups. I saw every concert that appealed to me. I contacted old friends again and they told me how much they had missed me and how much fun I was now that I was no longer attached to the old ball and chain. I took a road trip to Indiana and Wisconsin with a recently single girlfriend to follow Phish and I vowed that I would never, ever again find myself in a situation like the one I had left. Because this felt right and I felt good again.
So while I realize that this may not qualify me as a woman of achievement, I have found inner peace and happiness, two things I have worked so hard to attain. I was able to recognize that I was better than what I had been given and I took the steps necessary to remove myself from a painful situation. It’s an achievement I am immensely proud of.