and we danced all night

– Posted in: a not-so-brief history

If you’re like me—young, single, a vegetarian, more comfortable in Birkenstocks than in high heels, and into the jam band scene—then a Phish show is your Graceland. I don’t think I’ve ever been to an event with more adoring fans and I’ve certainly never seen so many cute and friendly boys gathered on one lawn. As silly as it may sound, the return of my favorite live band has everything to do with my mood as of late. Damn, I love the summer.

I somehow managed to score fifth row tickets to a Friday night show at Camden and I didn’t have to sleep with anyone or sell my soul to the devil to get them. It was insane. Glow sticks. Giant balloons. Confetti. Dance party. It also was the one-year anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death and Phish teased a few of his songs in 2001. I asked my girlfriend Karen if she would take my extra. She took me to my first Phish show 12 years ago in Albany and we’ve seen them numerous times together ever since. Plus, she’s cool as hell. She deserved it more than anyone else I know.

Seated (well, standing. Who sits at a Phish show?) to my right was an extremely attractive guy by the name of Charlie. Ordinarily I’m all for protecting the innocent but maybe with the help of the internet I can be reconnected with this beautiful stranger. We danced and chatted a bit, he placed his hand on the small of my very sweaty back (ewww), we giggled, and exchanged sex eyes. Okay fine, I gave him the sex eyes. He apologized about 20 times throughout the course of the second set and kept saying he didn’t want to be that creepy guy at the show. I’m not sure why he said that but I gave him some more sex eyes. He told me he had recently gone through a breakup and felt he was in a bad place because of it. I understood completely and told him I’m still in the process of healing myself but that each day gets better and better.

It was the first time I’d said the words out loud and really meant them. I’ve been thinking a lot lately of how slowly the heart heals and how soon we want to forget. To erase the pain and walk on with the reassurance that the future looks bright. I didn’t know how to explain all this to Charlie who appeared to have so much weight on his shoulders, but I hope I communicated this to him in some small way.

Once the show ended and the lights came up, we turned to each other to say our goodbyes. We hugged. Stared longingly for a bit.

And then he walked away.

20 Comments… add one
Samantha July 3, 2010, 9:57 PM

Sounds like a great show! I haven’t been to a show in many years, but I remember when I was a teenager, some friends and I would go to the Warped Tour every summer. It was one of the summer highlights I always looked forward to. (Maybe it was the extreme heat and sunburns that made it feel so much like summer, haha! )

It’s funny sometimes how you’ll meet people so randomly, especially if you have something in common with them. I wonder if you’ll ever run into Charlie again… 🙂 You never really know what life holds.
.-= Samantha´s last blog ..Ten Things I Would Do If I Werent Afraid =-.

New Jersey Memories July 4, 2010, 1:04 AM

Gee, you keep meeting these “extremely attractive” guys at Phish concerts. Lucky you!
.-= New Jersey Memories´s last blog ..I Have a Dream- =-.

Charlotte July 4, 2010, 11:54 AM

I just realized that was how I described them twice in a row. WHOOOOOOPS! But well, I call it like I see it 😉 Thanks for stopping in, NJM!

Thanks, Samantha. I’ve never been to the Warped Tour but I’ve heard great things. I honestly believe that’s the best way to meet someone. Either through friends who know what our interests are or by doing things we love best. Thanks for stopping in!

Miss JLA July 5, 2010, 10:46 AM

Hi!!! I’m stopping in from the Lady Bloggers Tea Party!!!

I’m in love with your blog!!!! This great! I’m your newest follower && can’t wait see & read more of your blog!

Hope you had a wonderful Fourth!
-Miss JLA

LiLu July 5, 2010, 3:27 PM

“Seated (well, standing. Who sits at a Phish show?)”

Amen, sister. I like you already 😉
.-= LiLu´s last blog ..Happy 4th- Y’all- Now Go Blow Some Stuff Up =-.

mycrazybipolarlife July 5, 2010, 4:48 PM

Hi, I came across your blog from The Lady Bloggers Tea Party! Camden is such a great place, it’s been years since I was last there. It sounds like it was a great night. It’s been 17 months for me since splitting with my (ex)fiance and I think I am only just realising that my heart is healing. I will definitely be adding you to my blogroll if that’s ok and coming back to read some more soon.

Take care 🙂
.-= mycrazybipolarlife´s last blog ..20-46 – Sweaty- sticky fidgeting =-.

Charlotte July 5, 2010, 8:09 PM

thank you so much for stopping by, mycrazybipolarlife, and for adding me to your blogroll. i will do the same for your site 🙂

I’m sorry to hear about you and your ex-fiance. time is the only thing that will heal that wound, but i’ve learned we have to experience all emotions–good and bad–as they come. best of luck in the road ahead. life gets sweeter, i promise 🙂

Nicole July 5, 2010, 9:07 PM

hi sweetie! i love your new blog design, by the way – very cute!

so glad you’re enjoying your summer of phish shows – sounds like going to one is a fun experience! i enjoyed meeting up with some fellow phishers during my trip to saratoga. good stuff!

it’s so true – the heart does heal slowly and forgetting the bad is at the top of the list…but through experiences i’ve had, i’ve realized that life doesn’t always have to be perfect to be good. one of the best events in my life turned into the worst thing ever at first, if that makes sense…but after some time, things have definitely turrned around for the better. i think you’re doing great…and i hope you can reconnect with charlie…seems like you had a great time with him. miss you, girl!!! hope you can catch up soon. 🙂 xoxo

Tex In The City July 6, 2010, 3:55 AM

Doesn’t it feel good to not only say those words out loud but to actually MEAN THEM?!

You glow, girl!
.-= Tex In The City´s last blog ..Me Rhonda- Day 1 =-.

Susie @ A Slice of My Life July 6, 2010, 2:26 PM

Sometimes a fun night of flirting and just being is the best way to mend that broken heart. There will be another Charlie who’s in a better place. I’m glad you had such a great time.
.-= Susie @ A Slice of My Life´s last blog ..Hiding Out In The Monster Closet =-.

Salt July 6, 2010, 2:27 PM

Wow it sounds like a great show in more ways than one!! I’m so happy for you that you could see the truth in your words to him.

I hope you find him again. 🙂

PS. Your blog looks FANTASTIC!!
.-= Salt´s last blog ..I’m melting- MELTING- =-.

Jayme (The Random Blogette) July 6, 2010, 3:26 PM

Wow! That sounds like you had a great night! Phish and a hot guy, how could anyone not like that! Hopefully some day you will meet again! If not, hopefully you can find someone who is not broken-hearted and that is ready for you!
.-= Jayme (The Random Blogette)´s last blog ..Monday Minute with DDoR -amp Mommywood- A DAY LATE- =-.

liz July 6, 2010, 3:36 PM

Really?!?! You too just walked away?!? It shouldn’t end like that. 🙂

April July 6, 2010, 11:54 PM

So fun! Thanks for commenting and following!

Leaza in Denver July 8, 2010, 2:13 AM

Nothing helps heal the soul quite like dancing. 🙂 It’s BETTER than therapy!! And a killer workout too. Take care and keep blogging! 🙂
.-= Leaza in Denver´s last blog ..Some Things THANKFULLY Never Change =-.

Allyson July 8, 2010, 12:44 PM

So, I’ve been phishing (sorry, that was BAD) around for some new blogs to add to my blog roll and knew that if I dug through Shana @Fumbling Toward Normalcy’s blog roll, she wouldn’t steer me wrong. And boy, was I right! I love it over here. And I hope you told the recipient of your sex eyes that the only thing that could have made him creepy is if he asked to bring you home to meet his Grandma. That would’ve been weird.
.-= Allyson´s last blog ..Try a New Food Tuesday- Just Add Water =-.

INeedACanoe July 8, 2010, 6:49 PM

Great post…I think it sounds like a blast! Can’t wait to read more…I’m your newest follower!!

Tina @ Life Without Pink July 8, 2010, 8:11 PM

Ahhh to be single again! Doesn’t it feel good to let loose for one night. Sorry about your broken heart. I am adding this to my Friday Favorites, stop by tomorrow.

Jessica July 9, 2010, 11:55 AM

Oh, it’s just like a good movie. Now I’m sitting here hopeful that he miraculously finds this blog post, emails you, and you get together and skip off into the sunset…on a date, of course!

Helena July 10, 2010, 2:55 PM

Man, “the sex eyes” is such an awesome phrase. I’ve given that look before, but I had no idea what to call it.

I found you through the Tea Party

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