Growing up, I was a tomboy. Because I was the only female among my cousins (not to mention one of the oldest), I assumed the role of troublemaker/ringleader. At an early age, I was able to convince my younger cousins and brother to dig up the backyard in search of gold coins much to the chagrin of my poor aunt and uncle who had to shell out God knows what to cover landscaping costs. Later on, I dodged other bullets doing all the things that rebellious teenagers do and a few others that exemplified my many lapses in sound judgment. I believe my love of adventure and ability to find myself in a wide assortment of precarious situations are just two reasons why I get along with the opposite sex so well.
That being said, there are times when even I can be a girly girl. On Friday, I received a phone call in the office that there was something waiting for me in the lobby. I ignored the message and figured I’d come back after lunch to pick up whatever mystery package was waiting for me. Couldn’t be that important.
But I was summoned again. There in the lobby stood a beautiful messenger with a lovely bouquet of purple tulips in her arms. I turned 100 shades of red as I accepted and headed back to my office to open the card.
I knew immediately who they were from. David (not actual name, but this is the name we’ll assign to the guy with the girlfriend).
At first I didn’t know how to react. I had an audience, I was caught completely off guard, and this wasn’t exactly the time to squeal with my girlfriends (though I really, really wanted to). I felt conflicted. I had a Hester Prynne moment, worried the flowers would expose my loose morals and indecent behavior. But I also felt immense elation. It’s a wonderful thing to receive flowers and I wanted to enjoy them. Purple also happens to be my favorite color and the tulips were a perfect choice. I tried to contain my excitement given the circumstances.
Later that evening, I met up with David and we had a long chat. I laid all the cards out on the table. What we were doing was wrong. No good can come from it. Statistically speaking, relationships that have so many strikes against them are bound to fail. I told him that I couldn’t help but hate myself for the pain I would inevitably cause his girlfriend. I had just recovered from my own world of hurt. How could I possibly do that to someone else?
I don’t want to be the other woman anymore. I am proud of the progress I have made so far and I need to continue on my path to self discovery. I am devastated because I know it means I won’t be able to see David as much but I want him to find what it is he is looking for as well. It’s time for me to stop getting myself tangled up in relationships that are doomed to fail.