I’ve discovered the hard way that healing is a process that should never be rushed. In order to appreciate the highs that life sometimes throws our way, I think it’s necessary to sit at the bottom of the barrel, to cry ugly tears, and to lose complete track of time. Maybe this explains why I feel such relief that I no longer reside in that lonely house of isolation.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve cluttered my planner with social engagements and have functioned just fine on a few hours of sleep. Well, maybe I struggle with the AM hours, but I feel it’s worth it to get out there and live it up a bit. I’m only young once, right? I didn’t turn down last-minute tickets to see the Flaming Lips on a Monday night, something that is practically unheard of in my post-college/corporate 9-5 days. I frequent rooftop bars in the city whenever possible, especially since the weather is unseasonably warm and I can bask in the sunshine. I have started to notice many very attractive males in my Bikram class, though it’s probably the last place I’d ever want to pick up a date. “Hi! Remember me? I’m the girl in the back with sweat pouring down my ears??” Yea, not so much sexy. But Bikram brings me to the crux of this post.
It is possible to heal from a breakup and I’ve decided to approach it with three very basic things in mind. The first may be considered superficial, but it’s the one I’m most excited about. Step #1: Reclaim my old body. A relationship with Jackson meant a lot of dinners out and nights spent in on the couch. After a few years together, I didn’t attend yoga as much as I used to and I desperately wanted to feel good again. At one point, I did have six-pack abs and toned arms. Granted that was a hundred years ago and maybe it was more like a four-pack, but who’s counting? The point is that the other day I stood in front of the mirror and found new muscles in my shoulders, arms, and legs that I had never seen before.
Step #1: Check.
The second step is relatively uncharted territory for me, but something I’ve wanted to get in touch with for a long time. Because I heart Elizabeth Gilbert and would love to walk in her shoes for just a day (who wouldn’t??), I’m learning to embrace the “pray” portion of Eat Pray Love. I’m not religious by any stretch of the imagination. But spiritual? Yes. The idea of sitting in an Ashram and meditating for hours on end is something I can’t wait to experience. I have been reading much more these days and have started challenging myself to go outside my comfort zone whenever possible, which is why I think I would love a retreat in the woods somewhere, away from the bright lights of the big city. Step #2: Achieve balance in all things.
Step #2: Work in progress.
The third step will take me awhile to complete because it involves matters of the heart and I’m still waiting for mine to heal. If I had to take a stab at it (bad choice of words), I’d say that I’m 80% there. There are days when I don’t think of Jackson and our time together, but every now and then I’m reminded of a moment we shared. I don’t get upset by it, and I know I have made the right decision but I also wouldn’t want to know if he’s dating someone else. Just not ready for that. But I can’t wait to fall in love again (in due time) and to feel that honeymoon phase all over again. Isn’t that the best? Step #3: Find a way to love again.
Step #3: Work in progress.
I guess one out of three ain’t bad.
So dear readers: how did you mend mind, body, and soul following a breakup?