March 13, 2012

Why dating in the real world is nothing like “finding love” on the Bachelor

Before you all let out a simultaneous groan, I would like to apologize for dedicating an entire post to this tawdry reality TV program. I’m not proud of it. But you’re also reading this, so maybe we can bond in our mutual disgust… and shared guilty pleasure.

I have been watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise for many embarassing seasons and, before I met Bryan, I often found myself wondering what I would be like as a contestant on this show. I even announced to a few of my friends that if Ben were chosen as bachelor, I would consider throwing my hat in the ring. I’m in the targeted demographic, have a steady job, come from a good, upstanding family, and still have all my teeth. Though I’ve never seen any of the girls sporting a ‘fro quite like mine, I figured a bit of styling and some tight dresses and I would blend right into a Bachelor lineup.

But each season I get discouraged by the terrible choices the eligible bachelors/bachelorettes make and I wonder if they’re being provoked to keep certain crazies on for the ratings, or because they are hoping to get a certain hottie into the overnight “no cameras allowed” bow-chicka-bow-wow suite.

So here is where life is different for those of us who date the old fashioned way. On the Bachelor/Bachelorette, you:

1) show up, look dolled up for the cameras, and enjoy months of luxurious accommodations, first-class travel to exotic locations, and the best dining ABC’s budget can afford. I dunno about you, but I could fall in love with that lifestyle very easily, too. How about the real world scenario most of us have to live in, which includes cooking together at home because going out all the time is financially taxing. And forget trips to Switzerland; many of us would settle for a trip down the shore for a long weekend.

2) get to date 20 men/women at the same time! This show is a polygamist’s dream come true. Every day you get up and beautiful men (women) are fawning all over you and even fighting for your hand in marriage. Imagine! Real world: Dating isn’t a la carte, and NO you cannot have the steak AND the fish. Greedy bastard. You get to know one person on an intimate level. The good, the bad, and the ugly are exposed for what they’re worth.

3) have no time for fighting when you only get to spend an hour every two weeks together. The goal of this show is to meet the one person you are most compatible with in hopes of proposing and spending the rest of your lives together. How can you possibly marry someone you’ve never fought with? I’m not saying excessive fighting is essential to a relationship, but how you make it through those rough patches can determine how you’ll survive long-term.

Bryan and I just had our first argument together after a solid five months. In many ways we are still celebrating the honeymoon phase of our relationship, but I’m glad we were able to see how we could handle our first disagreement. Because, as I touched on earlier, relationships aren’t about private jets and ziplining. They teach us how to deal with socks next to the hamper and whose turn it is to take out the trash.

4) ordinarily would have to wade through a lot more frogs to find your prince/princess charming (and I’m not talking about physical attributes here). How many of us have gone out with the guy who has psychotic tendencies or the charmer who doesn’t let you get a word in edgewise because he is a high profile lawyer who’d rather scoff at your credentials? The men/women chosen to appear on this show are all beautiful and many of them are relatively successful: from sweet Southern belle Casie B. to the funny Ph.D. student Emily. What this show lacks in diversity and depth it makes up in entertainment and shock value, I guess (see Courtney).

5) have a really cheesy soundtrack to accompany the poignant moments in your life. In particular, I’m talking about the David Gray song that was popular more than 10 years ago and appears to be the only song Bachelor Ben can play on the piano.

All that aside, I’m incredibly disappointed in this year’s bachelor. I had high hopes for Ben. He was handsome, sweet, heartbroken, and sensitive when the season started. His decision to pick model Courtney makes me question his taste in women and judgment. Yes, it’s a huge red flag when one girl in the house doesn’t play nice with all the others. And I think she was also interested in winning the show more than she was interested in winning his heart. Did I just write that? Someone shoot me. What did you think? Did you watch?

I’ve had some problems with my blog lately which I’m still trying to fix. Please bear with me, but let me know if you notice anything funky (you can email me at charlotte@mypixieblog.com). And today is the day I get my tattoo. Wish me luck!

Also, if you haven’t already, please enter my giveaway for an awesome gift basket!

Posted at: 10:43 am by |Filed Under: dating | the bachelorette lifestyle | 17 Comments
September 26, 2011

Vlog: Easy Canvas Prints Giveaway Winner!

Let’s just pretend for a moment that I don’t look like a complete lunatic. And that my hair isn’t fighting a losing battle on my skull or that I sound like I have a giant frog lodged in my throat. Yes? If we can do all of those things, then here is the video in which I announce the winner of the Easy Canvas Prints Giveaway!

Congrats to Blond Duck of A Duck in her Pond on the win and I’ll see you all when I return from Paris (and if I could just ask for one tiny favor, do a little dance that this tickle in my throat leaves so I can really swap spit with the Parisians. I KIDDDD! Kinda’). *HUGS*

See you all, my sweet ones, when I return.

Posted at: 9:37 am by |Filed Under: giveaway | the bachelorette lifestyle | travel | 20 Comments
August 22, 2011

Stop Counting, Start Eating: Feel Fresh for Fall (part deux)!


A few weeks ago, I participated in a food plan from The Fresh Diet, a home delivery service that promised freshly prepared meals and a wide assortment of options. As a longtime vegetarian (or pescatarian—I have recently started to eat more fish), I am always a bit skeptical of such claims. Over the years I’ve learned HOW to read labels and I try to stick with foods that are healthy and relatively low in sodium, fat, sugar, and calories. My fears were quickly put to rest when I was able to surf the site and choose from a selection of appetizing AND nutritious platters. The following is a typical menu for one day’s worth of food:

Breakfast: Peanut Butter Chip Muffin with Fresh Papaya and Banana Cottage Cheese
Lunch: Cajun Shrimp Stuffed Portabella Mushroom Crowns with Balsamic Reduction Sauce
Dinner: Vegetarian Meatballs with Sun-Dried Tomato Pesto with Roasted Baby Squash and Roasted Cauliflower
Hors D’Oeuvre: Crab Cake with Horseradish Dressing
Dessert: Hazel Nut Espresso Muffin

And yes, all items were just as delicious as their descriptions would indicate (though I sadly had to give up the banana cottage cheese).

I found that the The Fresh Diet web site was extremely user-friendly and easy to navigate. Their customer service department was also very helpful and I was able to communicate to them the best location for dropping off the food. While I live in a relatively safe neighborhood, I was a bit concerned about leaving the food on the stoop of my apartment and so the delivery men hid my tote underneath the staircase. My only complaint would be that while most of the foods I ordered were dairy-free, there were some dishes (the beet salad with goat cheese in particular) where it was nearly impossible to scrape off all the cheese.

My intended goal with this food plan was to see if I could order meals that were high in protein, low in fat, and would keep me energized for the day. The Fresh Diet exceeded my expectations and relieved the usual morning stress of meal planning for the day. For the busy single gal on the go, this is definitely worth the investment.

Interested in The Fresh Diet? All My Pixie Blog readers are eligible to buy one week and get the next week 50% off. Just enter promo code “single” to redeem this offer at checkout.

I received a one-week free trial in exchange for this review. All opinions expressed herein are entirely my own. This post was sponsored by The Fresh Diet.

Posted at: 10:17 am by |Filed Under: the bachelorette lifestyle | 17 Comments
August 15, 2011

Stop Counting, Start Eating: Feel Fresh for Fall

I have to say: I’m a pretty lucky lady. Last week I had three freshly prepared meals and two snacks delivered to my door each day, which not only eliminated the need to go grocery shopping for an entire week (and let’s face it, food shopping isn’t exactly cheap in the NYC-area) but it also saved me from one of my least favorite chores of all time–dishes. It always amazes me how quickly they pile up in the sink even though I live alone.

So when I was asked to do a review for The Fresh Diet I jumped at the opportunity. Here is a program that offers a wide assortment of healthy food options to accommodate anyone on a diabetic, kosher, vegetarian, or gluten free diet. I have been a vegetarian for the past 14 years (though I have recently incorporated more fish into my life) and I always read food labels and pay attention to nutritional content. I was impressed that I could customize my meals according to my likes/dislikes and food restrictions and it was fun to add items to my cart that sounded the most appealing.

The Fresh Diet was also a huge lifesaver to me. I have been battling some food allergies for the past few weeks and am on an elimination diet to rule out some possible suspects. Having the reassurance that the foods delivered were safe to eat really set my mind at ease and allowed me to focus on getting back to a healthy, fit place once again.

The food portions were big enough to keep me satisfied and I was extremely happy with how fresh everything tasted. Breakfast usually consisted of an assortment of fruit, I would eat a hearty salad for lunch, and I enjoyed a protein of sorts for dinner along with two side dishes. And there were two snacks each day, too (one savory and one sweet). The convenience factor was a huge selling point for me. I’m a busy gal and don’t often have the luxury of preparing healthy meals at the end of the day (and am sometimes forced to grab a ridiculously overpriced lunch in the city because I can’t get it together in time to pack a lunch). So waking up to find this adorable tote on my stoop packed with fresh noms for the day and a menu was refreshing (and something I could definitely get used to):

Interested in The Fresh Diet? All My Pixie Blog readers are eligible to buy one week and get the next week 50% off. Just enter promo code “single” to redeem this offer at checkout.

I received a one-week free trial in exchange for this review. All opinions expressed herein are entirely my own. This post was sponsored by The Fresh Diet.

Posted at: 9:17 am by |Filed Under: the bachelorette lifestyle | 7 Comments
June 8, 2011

[sponsored post] what inspires me?

I was contacted this week to participate in a campaign that truly speaks to my heart and there was no way that I could turn it down. AOL is teaming up with several single lady bloggers to find out what inspires them and how they embrace their freedom and achievements along this road called life. Since this blog is a chronology of my journey and the many adventures I have enjoyed along the way, I thought I might be a well-suited candidate for this particular write-up.

Jeep Legendary Life

In the past two years, I have completely transformed every aspect of my life. Bad eating habits went out the window and I took up yoga and meditation. Time spent feeling sorry for myself because I wasn’t yet married with children I replaced with happy memories of the many friends (and lovers without strings) in my life. I started saying yes to experiences that took me outside of my comfort zone. I saw Phish 18 times last year and danced along to countless other bands around the country. I rediscovered my love of writing and we’ve been inseparable ever since.

But I also acknowledge the journey to get here and I’m constantly motivated by the strong women behind the scenes in my life—the ones who took me out for cocktails and therapy sessions when I needed them most and reminded me that I was too young to give up on love. I’m inspired by the soundtrack of my life and the music that keeps me moving for hours at a time. I’m inspired by the road trips with good friends by my side and the exciting, new experiences just out of reach and beyond the bend. I’m inspired by the hopeless romantic who dwells within me, reminding me that there is a great love out there to one day share this all with.

To all the beautiful, fabulous, single women out there: I’d like to encourage you all to head over here and design your own “Inspiration Board.” Show us what moves you and you will be eligible to win a $50 gift card from AOL (prizes awarded weekly)! All users are also entered for a Grand Prize: a $4,500 gift card. I’m sure we can all think of ways to spend that money this summer, right?

Here are some pics of the wonderful friends who are a constant source of inspiration to me and some of the memories that light up my life:

This post was sponsored by AOL.

Posted at: 9:12 am by |Filed Under: dancin' fool | dating | the bachelorette lifestyle | 10 Comments
April 20, 2011

embracing my inner puma

This past Friday, I painted my eyes with some glitter and dark mascara and changed into a pair of high-heeled booties, my snug and sexy jeans, and a black halter-top for an evening of dancing with my girlfriends. After some drinks at my friend’s apartment on the Upper East Side, we hailed a cab heading downtown and hopped from one place to another, leaving one club because a bachelorette party exploded on the dance floor, left another because we just didn’t like the scene, and finally ended up at Fat Baby, a funky little maze with decent music and some cuties. There may have been at least one other place, but as I said, we were pregaming and some of the events are a bit foggy. Some foreigners snuggled in next to us at a table we snagged, took pictures of and with us, and then we got up to dance.

That evening I met an Albanian named Bear. I like to protect the innocent and usually change names in my blog but this one really was too good not to use. He was adorable, a good dancer, and very charming. But when that Barbra Streisand song came on, I went to dance with my girls and he left to go dance with some other chick.

(You’re welcome.)

A few moments later, Roberto sauntered over and leaned into my ear. “I think you’re really cute and would like to dance with you.” I’ve never been formally approached to dance and knew immediately he was not from New York (I was right; he had moved here from Boston). After a few minutes of pleasantries, he wanted to try out for the tonsil hockey team. He took my number and said he would call me as he walked out of the bar.

Bear returned and offered to buy me a drink. He apologized for leaving me and we made small talk on the couch though he also seemed much more interested in jamming his tongue down the back of my throat.

A couple cocktails and apparently I’m Bret Michaels.

Roberto and Bear both contacted me after that evening, but after a few texts back and forth, I realized Bear was more interested in sexting and so I let that go. But Roberto? Called when he said he would, has offered to take me out, and he just seems like a darling. He’s also 27, a good five years younger than I am, but I’m not going to hold that against him. Maybe Hutch is on to something. A good man is hard to find in this city and I’ll try not to let his age get in the way if we do end up going out on that date.

Posted at: 10:24 am by |Filed Under: dancin' fool | the bachelorette lifestyle | 25 Comments
April 18, 2011

guest post: mr. right now, not mr. forever

I would like to extend a very warm welcome to Hutch, the awesome blogger behind Be Awesome Instead. It’s hard not to love this girl and I think this post solidifies my bloggy crush on her (also, I have my own puma tendencies). Read and enjoy. And Hutch: thanks for sharing!

***

In my early stages of dating, aka young adulthood, older men were it for me. Most of the guys in Santa Barbara were 3-5 years older. At 19 I dated a 26 year old, who just happened to be a minor leaguer (I also had a thing for athletes, that has most definitely not changed). At Syracuse, the ages started to even out, with SU D (I dated 3 D’s, of the same name, they’re forever specified by location) only a year older. Then grad school came along and I got my first taste of the younger man. At 24, a 2 1/2 year age difference with UMass D seemed like quite the gap! Turned out it was, and I went back to the more mature (ha!) guys my own age or older.

Almost two years ago, I realized most of the older guys are single for a reason…baggage! The baggage that ends in heartbreak. After recovering for about a year, I’ve come to understand the benefits of dating, or even just hooking up with, a younger guy. Focusing on the 24 to 27ish range, here’s what I’ve found to be the Top 5 Reasons Younger Guys are Awesome:

1. They’re young so they can keep up

2. They tend to be more fun, active and still take care of themselves

3. Experienced enough so you don’t have to teach them, but not set in their ways either

4. Far less pressure on the commitment front

5. Waaaay less pressure to be popping out babies

At this point in my life, according to societal standards, I should be looking to settle down. Yeah, no. Sure if I meet Mr. Right and the timing is there, I’ll go for it. Until then, I’m just fine with Mr. Right Now. In my first official week as a Puma, I even landed a Cub. For the night and it’s purposes he was a great make-out buddy. Go back a couple years and I would have either been thinking about the future with this guy, or how to avoid ever seeing him again. Instead, all I have to think about is who’s next. The life of a Puma is great!

Now if I can just figure out how to move past the need to be in a committed relationship to get laid thing…

Posted at: 7:43 am by |Filed Under: dating | guest blogging | the bachelorette lifestyle | , 22 Comments
April 8, 2011

what happened in vegas…

I don’t even know where to begin or how to recap my Vegas vacation. I started to write this post above the clouds on Tuesday night, but didn’t get much accomplished as I was either hungover from the night before or buzzed from the last cocktail I had with Emily at the hotel bar just minutes before the airport shuttle came to pick us up kicking and screaming. I am just starting to feel like myself again. (You can read Emily’s most excellent recap here.)

We took Vegas by storm, crossing off items on our must-see list and frequenting the sexiest dance clubs in Sin City (the ones that require names on guest lists but entitle women to free entry and drinks). We soaked up some sun, ate at some amazing restaurants, danced and shimmied (on the night of my birthday, we boogied at a Galactic show at the Hard Rock Café and at a club for a record-breaking 7.5 hours!), sat in wide-eyed wonder at Cirque du Soleil’s Love, and nearly crawled the strip back to the hotel after a night out on the town in heels. So basically, we didn’t sleep for four days.

Before I left, I described this vacation to a friend as my midlife crisis trip. Obviously that’s a bit of an exaggeration as I only just turned 32, but I was looking forward to embracing my inner 21-year-old on spring break with a good friend. I made out with a cute boy on the dance floor and had a heck of a time flirting with some foreigners. I don’t remember the last time I took a vacation quite like this one, but it was a welcome relief and a reminder that I need to get out and do this kind of thing more often (provided my finances are intact and I’m still living the single life).

Some observations from our trip:

  • While extremely well put together and dolled up, the women in Vegas are actually quite sweet and friendly. At least the ones we encountered were. Waiting on line at the bathroom, several smiled and chatted me up which is something I’ve yet to experience in the clubs at New York.
  • I was mistaken for a Brazilian on the dance floor one evening. Clearly this man had more to drink than I did.
  • If you are wandering the strip before dark, you will collect about 20 cards advertising the hottest clubs in Vegas. If you are a female, you won’t have any problems getting in anywhere (you will have to be on a list though).
  • There is a song called “Barbara Streisand” and it plays everywhere in Vegas. I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since we left.
  • The men are a bit more aggresive than I’m accustomed to. I can see where the whole “what happens in Vegas…” expression comes from. There may have been some baby-making going on on the dance floor.

I think this picture pretty much sums up the weekend:

Our Vegas vacation was epic and I wish I could do it all over again. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a kidney to sell and some sleep to catch up on.

Posted at: 8:07 am by |Filed Under: dancin' fool | the bachelorette lifestyle | travel | , 24 Comments
March 11, 2011

saucony sneakers under the coffee table

I’m not sure how I was expecting the night to go but I certainly wasn’t planning on that.

After a friend cancelled for drinks last night, I was perfectly content to go home, put on my pajamas, and drool over Casey Abrams on American Idol. I hadn’t been home all week and I was looking forward to some couch time. But then I received a text message from my buddy Scott asking if I wanted to go for drinks and I didn’t want to say no. We’ve tried making plans for weeks and we were never quite able to coordinate.

Tonight was our night.

We met up at Mulligan’s, a small Irish pub in Hoboken, and caught up on life, work, and all the in-betweens. I hadn’t seen him in ages and I wanted to hear about his most recent breakup, which was still weighing heavily on his mind. At one point in the conversation he mentioned he just wanted to get out and have sex with everyone.

And I told him I understood this, never thinking for a moment that he had ever considered having sex with me. I mean, we were strictly platonic and I had just been pimping out some of my friends to him.

After we’d had enough to drink, I asked if he wanted to come back to my apartment since it was on the way to the light rail. He offered me a cigarette and we stepped out into the night clutching our weathered umbrellas and avoiding the large puddles on every street corner. Once we made it inside, I set up some tea and we dried off. We listened to the rain and Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. I took a seat next to him on the couch.

Our small talk took a slightly different edge when he placed his hand on my kneecap and told me how small it was (I didn’t know how to react to that either). I blushed and reached for my tea and he leaned over to kiss me. It was passionate. It was unexpected.

His hands climbed the small of my back, caressing my skin, traveling between my thighs.

I pushed away.

“I’m sorry, Scott. I just… wasn’t expecting this…”

“I wasn’t either,” and he reached for the back of my neck to pull me in closer to him. He was a good kisser. But he could tell I wasn’t entirely comfortable. I had known Scott for years. Cute, fun, intelligent, and witty Scott. We’ve always had great chemistry. What the hell was wrong with me?

He got up to leave and I pulled him in closer for one final kiss. But instead his hands roamed further. “Look at this yoga booty,” he said before picking me up and taking me into the bedroom.

He threw me onto the unmade sheets and we ripped our clothing off. I was starting to warm up to the idea of sleeping with Scott. It’s just sex.

Just sex.

And sometimes that’s all we ever need.

Posted at: 11:49 am by |Filed Under: sex | the bachelorette lifestyle | , 18 Comments
November 27, 2010

it’s amazing i didn’t have my ass handed to me

I’m grateful for a long weekend after running myself ragged tying up loose ends in the office and fitting everything in on my calendar. I hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving and that you feasted on wonderful food and gave thanks for the many blessings. I have much to be thankful for this year as well: good health, fine friends, a wonderful and dysfunctional family I enjoy spending time with, great eats, and this blogging community I love more and more each day. This post is coming to you a bit later than I had hoped, but well, such is life sometimes.

Last Friday I went to Le Poisson Rouge on Bleecker Street to listen to Amy Ray of the Indigo Girls with one of my best friends, her live-in girlfriend, and a few other couples. After a hectic day in the office, I was expecting (and hoping for) an evening of acoustic rock and sing-alongs but it turned out to be a plugged-in, very loud rock-and-roll set instead. I still had fun and the girl next to me may have been hitting on me (she was cute) so it made for an interesting evening. Much to the chagrin of the girls I was with that night, I am not pitching for the other team. Yet.

Saturday I met up with Brandon (who now has a girlfriend) and we took the train out to Long Island to attend the engagement party of two of our close friends. I had a ridiculously good time but, again, I was surrounded by friends who are engaged, married, or married-with-children. As a funny aside: At the engagement party I spotted a very handsome, tall guy in his mid-30s. I chatted him up for a bit and conversation took on a natural rhythm (thanks to the many drinks from the open bar). I went to catch up with another friend and when I looked back I noticed him taking a seat next to a very beautiful young woman. As it turns out, she was his wife. I was mortified. Thankfully, she was extremely gracious and sweet and didn’t shoot daggers at me. Or claw out my eyeballs. That would have sucked a lot.

On Sunday I lounged on a sofa curled up to watch the American Music Awards—with another couple who lives in town. Seeing their relationship unfold and advance over the years reminds of some of the happier times I had with my last boyfriend and how much I miss things like matching toothbrushes next to the sink and furnishing an apartment that appeals to both sexes.

Most of my friends are in relationships. With winter just around the corner, this is the time of year when depression creeps in and reminds me of how alone I really am. I’ve had a fine time of it so far, but now that the stores are already setting up shop for Christmas, I don’t want to let another holiday season go by as a single girl. I’m finally ready (I mean REALLY ready) to give this dating thing a go. And despite the fact that I publicly announced to some friends JUST LAST WEEK that I wouldn’t dare go back on Match.com, I may sign up for it after all. And I may have signed up fake usernames in the past few days so I could scope out the cute hippie boys. Maybe I did that.

I credit a friend I reconnected with last weekend for this turn of events. He told me I should play the field for a while and that Match.com might be the perfect way to get started. He also admitted to me that he reads my blog. It means so much to know that a male friend understands where I’m coming from and also appreciates the female perspective. So, to that very special friend: thank you.

Posted at: 3:01 pm by |Filed Under: dating | the bachelorette lifestyle | , , 21 Comments
« Older Posts