I feel like the spinning top for a dreidel
The spinning don’t stop when you leave the cradle
You just slow down
Round and around this world you go
Spinning through the lives of the people you know
We all slow down
This is not a post about Don McLean though perhaps it should be.
Like the sound of a Yankees game emanating from the family room, his music played a large role in my childhood. I remember vividly the day I brought home a CD of greatest hits (Jim Croce AND Don McLean) and how proud my dad seemed to be that I was actually listening to good music and not That Shit They Play On The Radio.
Today I want to talk about the feeling of free fallin’ (of course a reference to another musical legend gone much too soon).
And in particular, that friggin’ dreidel. Does anyone else feel sometimes that they’re careening in circles? I’m not at an unhappy place in my life by any stretch… but not having control of certain aspects is, quite frankly, terrifying.
When did I get to be so Type A??
The other day I had a sobering chat with my aunt when suddenly every anxiety in my life bubbled to the surface (perhaps she has that effect on me, but please don’t tell her I told you this). It was verbal diarrhea of the worst kind. I felt like I wasn’t breathing. I don’t even know if was forming complete sentences. I just remember feeling enveloped by the weight of chance and I had, in that moment, little faith that the universe did indeed have my back.
I want you to talk to me about ways you relinquish control. How do you loosen your grip to really kick back and enjoy the ride? Is that even possible? Also, how perfect is the image above, found the other day in a dry cleaner’s window in Montclair. I love the skeletons on the bike, but especially the ominous home in the background. Seemed perfect for the time of year.
Do you believe in rock and roll?
Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?