Spinning away

– Posted in: featured

I feel like the spinning top for a dreidel
The spinning don’t stop when you leave the cradle
You just slow down
Round and around this world you go
Spinning through the lives of the people you know
We all slow down

This is not a post about Don McLean though perhaps it should be.

Like the sound of a Yankees game emanating from the family room, his music played a large role in my childhood. I remember vividly the day I brought home a CD of greatest hits (Jim Croce AND Don McLean) and how proud my dad seemed to be that I was actually listening to good music and not That Shit They Play On The Radio.

Today I want to talk about the feeling of free fallin’ (of course a reference to another musical legend gone much too soon).

And in particular, that friggin’ dreidel. Does anyone else feel sometimes that they’re careening in circles? I’m not at an unhappy place in my life by any stretch… but not having control of certain aspects is, quite frankly, terrifying.

When did I get to be so Type A??

The other day I had a sobering chat with my aunt when suddenly every anxiety in my life bubbled to the surface (perhaps she has that effect on me, but please don’t tell her I told you this). It was verbal diarrhea of the worst kind. I felt like I wasn’t breathing. I don’t even know if was forming complete sentences. I just remember feeling enveloped by the weight of chance and I had, in that moment, little faith that the universe did indeed have my back.

Just breathe.

I want you to talk to me about ways you relinquish control. How do you loosen your grip to really kick back and enjoy the ride? Is that even possible? Also, how perfect is the image above, found the other day in a dry cleaner’s window in Montclair. I love the skeletons on the bike, but especially the ominous home in the background. Seemed perfect for the time of year.

Do you believe in rock and roll?
Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

13 Comments… add one
Nicole October 18, 2017, 10:16 AM

Oh, letting go is so hard… it took me a long time to learn how, and even now, I struggle with it. But a few things help me:
1. Breathe.
2. Feel the feelings, but don’t be reactive. If you gotta cry, cry. But don’t knee -jerk act or react in an effort to feel in control. Impulsive decisions never work out well. Cry, have a nap, take a walk. Alleviate pressure.
3. You may not have control over what’s happening around you, but you do have control over how you respond. One thing at a time, and if you’re facing something you’re not ready to deal with yet… don’t.
And you can always reach out to someone. I’ll be very much around in the coming months (lol) so any time you need, I’m down for a phone chat, a cup of tea, or a nice walk on a brisk day. <3

Beth October 18, 2017, 10:45 AM

I’m a huge Type A and I don’t like things being out of my control either. I have no good answers other than 1) I take medication, 2) I try to quiet my mind if I can with reading a book or zoning out to a favorite show and 3) Talking it out. Which it sounds like you did, but don’t be afraid to keep talking. It helps. And taking things one moment at a time. Not one day, not one hour, one moment.
Hugs beautiful girl. <3

Kimberly October 18, 2017, 11:02 AM

Big hugs girlfriend. Huge big giant ones.
I am still learning how to let things go – that I can’t control all things. I’m Type A and a certified basket case. This is why I see a psychiatrist once a week. *winks seductively at you*
What to do? One day at a time. Do what I can do. Self care. Self care. Self care. You take care of you. Even if you say that you’re not unhappy, you do something that’s self soothing for you. All that spinning and stress adds up my friend. Be good to you xooxox

Karen October 18, 2017, 11:25 AM

I love that picture!

My husband is a super calm person and it’s been a good influence on my anxiety issues. He’s very much – you make your choice and move on. There’s no point going over what you can’t change or can’t control etc.

I don’t think I’ll EVER be that chill lol but I try to keep it in mind to gain some control if I’m spiraling.

He also repeats the phrase – Breathe…in with the good, out with the bad… when I’m having panic attacks and it works for me so I use that phrase often. I even have a shorter version engraved on my wedding band as a reminder.

For What It’s Worth

Karen October 18, 2017, 2:47 PM

I was just chatting with a friend about this yesterday. I am not unhappy. In fact, I am the happiest I’ve been in a long time. But I feel so unsure and out of control and I have no idea why. Could this be the 35-year-old mid-life crisis that everybody is linking to on Facebook?

StephTheBookworm October 18, 2017, 5:35 PM

I have no advice or tips, because I am VERY similar. But I am sending positive thoughts your way!

I am in love with those skeletons!

Leslie October 18, 2017, 7:51 PM

I love the skeleton and the home! I myself am not unhappy in my life at the moment either but I am starting to find that holding down 3 jobs with no days off (for months) is starting to take a toll on me. If I don’t find a routine and fast I myself may end up toppled over like that dreidel.

ShootingStarsMag October 18, 2017, 9:52 PM

Sometimes I have a lot of anxiety/depression about the future. Honestly, I try and do what I can to live in the now – or at least think about all the fun things I have going on in the near future. I know this isn’t quite what you meant, but it’s what I thought when I read your post. LOL I mean, when it comes to letting go of control, I’m not sure i ever really feel like I have it to begin with except in small ways.

Lillian October 18, 2017, 11:03 PM

Big hugs, my friend. The Universe has something positive for you. It’s a journey and sometimes even us Type A folk can let it go a little. 🦋💙 breathe. That’s all we gotta do.

Anthea October 19, 2017, 9:14 AM

There is so much in life that we cannot control and it can be really scary! However I’m trying to live more in the present and spend less time fretting over the past and worrying about the future but it isn’t easy.
I find reading helps and exercise when I’m feeling stressed. Self care is essential.
Sending hugs.

Akaleistar October 19, 2017, 5:02 PM

I wish I knew how to stop worrying and just let life happen, but I’m so Type A. I have to remind myself to just keep swimming, just keep swimming 🙂

Tamara October 24, 2017, 4:08 PM

I often wonder how I got to be so Type A. I am Type B with certain things, like parenting, which is SO ODD. Yet, I’m Type A with the emotions of parenting and working for my dreams and kids, etc. so it cancels out.
Just breathe. So much easier said than done.

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