Why people in “happy marriages” cheat

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This is a sponsored post on behalf of National Cellular Directory. All opinions are entirely my own.

If you haven’t already watched the show The Affair, I highly recommend that you devote some time to binging. The first season focuses mainly on Noah (a man you’ll want to punch in the face repeatedly) who cheats on his wife with a woman named Alison (you won’t be very happy with her either).

I really loved the concept of showcasing the very same scenarios told from two unique perspectives—because you’ll notice immediately the quintessential differences between men and women, including what both sexes notice and focus on in their day to day lives.

I bring this up here because I was recently contacted by National Cellular Directory and they presented me with an alarming infographic and statistic about cheating and it made me think of the partnerships on The Affair.

According to this infographic, a divorce in the United States occurs every 36 seconds, and that the average age for a first divorce is 30. When I think back on some of my earlier relationships, I am 100% certain that I would have ended up in divorce court if I had made it down the aisle.

Maybe there is some validity to getting married at a later stage in life.

Anyway, let’s go back to the infographic for a moment. There are a lot of stats that stand out to me, but the one I find most alarming is that a whopping 68% of women state they would have an affair if they were 100% certain their spouse would never find out. SIXTY-EIGHT PERCENT! That seems staggering.

Here are some of my thoughts:

  • I don’t care what you tell me, these people are not happy
  • FOMO exists in relationships, too
  • Cheating doesn’t always have to be physical; if you form an emotional connection outside of your relationship, it can be just as damaging to your spouse and your relationship
  • Is it just my Jewish roots, or am I the only one who finds it difficult to live with that kind of guilt? EVEN IF I could “get away with it,” it would haunt me for the rest of my life.

I’d love to hear from you about this topic. Do you think that people in a “happy marriage” cheat OR do you think there is something beneath the surface that perhaps we do not know? Leave your comments below!

10 Comments… add one
Kimberly August 30, 2017, 8:42 AM

I don’t think that they are truly happy. There is no doubt in my mind. There has to be something under that surface for someone to cheat. Has to be.
In sort of related news….my hairdresser found out that her husband was cheating when his phone was synched through the cloud. His messages were coming through his son’s ipad. She got all the texts from his side woman. OOOps!

Emily August 30, 2017, 8:46 AM

I really think that people who cheat are not happy in their relationship or marriage. If someone is happy with their marriage then they wouldn’t cheat. It just doesn’t make sense for someone to say that they are happy yet are cheating (either physically or emotionally).

Julie August 30, 2017, 10:01 AM

I agree…I think people who cheat aren’t happy…but not necessarily with their marriage. They might be unhappy with their spouse or themselves…or some other reason entirely. Sad.

ShootingStarsMag August 30, 2017, 10:34 AM

yeah, you don’t cheat when you’re happy. I mean, being happy and being content in your marriage are kind of two different things too. But that’s crazy that so many women would cheat if they could get away with it. Like, why? I would never.

-lauren

Beth August 30, 2017, 10:45 AM

I just can’t believe these people are truly happy. In my heart I want to believe that someone who is that happy wouldn’t cheat. That just doesn’t add up for me. There has to be some underlying thing going on. Uffda.

Trish @ The Trish List August 30, 2017, 11:22 AM

I don’t believe that the marriage is happy if someone cheats. Knowing a few people who have cheated and did end in divorce, I know they were not happy. They tried to make their marriages work, but they failed because of the unhappiness and then the infidelity. Its a pretty ugly cycle.

Shannon August 30, 2017, 11:49 AM

WOW, these are crazy stats and super sad. And people wonder why I am not rushing into marriage! Lol

Tamara August 30, 2017, 1:58 PM

Wow, the divorce rate is LOWER than I thought? Isn’t that sad?
Although the cheating rates are higher.
I think happy isn’t the right term. They want to stay married for whatever reason of comfort, and probably even love, but happy? Nope.

Mia August 30, 2017, 3:53 PM

I agree – they aren’t truly happy in their marriages – whether it’s being unhappy with their own self, or their spouse, or their situation in life. They are manifesting that unhappiness into infidelity, thinking that somehow, a new person is the solution to their problems. For most of the people that I know who divorced because of infidelity – their relationship with the person they cheated with usually fizzles pretty quickly, too, because they never dealt with whatever the root problem was. Just my 2 cents. 🙂

Karen August 31, 2017, 10:21 AM

Yeah, I was thinking as I was reading that – they are not happy. Or at least something is missing.
Not wanting to get divorced or to continue the affair is not the same as being happy in your marriage.

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