Why I (mostly) stopped sharing my life on Facebook

– Posted in: featured

“My beautiful boys. #blessed”

“Look at how happy my life is!”

“Dirty laundry. Dirty laundry. Dirty laundry.”

 “ANGRY POLITICAL RANT IN ALL CAPS!!!!”

Admittedly, this isn’t exactly what I see when I log onto Facebook, but it’s pretty close.

For all intents and purposes, I have stopped sharing pieces of my life on Facebook. That is, until this weekend when the universe was throwing me some MAJOR shade in the form of a belligerent woman who told me to suck a dick in the parking lot of CVS, a dead bird, and a car accident with a woman who fell asleep behind the wheel of her car (everyone is fine). I just had to vent. I don’t regret sharing to the book of faces, but the thought certainly crossed my mind…

Who gives a poop?

I rarely use Facebook anymore, but when I do, it’s for blog promo purposes. Or to share pictures of Buster.

You never get tired of Buster pictures, do you?

The other day I wanted to share a status involving a gorgeous deer I spotted in my parent’s backyard (with the caption “imagine you’re a deah!” <name that movie). Instead, I texted it to my friend but my iPhone screwed up the punch line and I typed “imagine you’re a drag” instead. I thought about sharing a status about how I had managed to pump my own gas in New York until I realized, oh hai! NO ONE cares!

You know that expression about roads being paved with good intentions? I really do think that most of us are good people at our core. Sometimes we check in on each other (and dogs left behind in hot cars!) because we want to help. But sometimes, for whatever reason, our day starts off on the wrong foot; perhaps we’re caught in a moment; maybe someone looks at us the wrong way and it sets off a chain reaction. Because we then set out into the world with the best of intentions but someone looks at us funny and it sets off our inner dragons.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this.

Anyway. Back to Facebook. I’m not a fan any longer. I keep debating on whether or not I should close it for good. But some of you have really adorable kiddos and some hilarious statuses and I’m not sure I’d get the same viral dog videos on Twitter.

Thoughts? Comments? What do you share on Facebook?

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

22 Comments… add one
Brooke July 11, 2017, 9:22 AM

My husband and I were just talking about this! Especially as a blogger, I feel so much pressure to share share share, but in reality I am a pretty private person. I’m not sure where the balance comes in.

Trish @ The Trish List July 11, 2017, 9:29 AM

I have been using Facebook more as a place to share inspiring quotes and fun photos. I don’t share to much about my life anymore. I also share my cats because they are just cuter than me lol. But I agree when I do want to share something that seems important to me, no one seems to care. So I send it to people who I know do care. And of course everyone loves a good photo of Buster!

ShootingStarsMag July 11, 2017, 9:29 AM

I get where you’re coming from. I like seeing what friends are up to – and I do follow a lot of people that are bloggers, so their statuses tend to be interesting most of the time. I think some people just use it complain and that’s annoying when it’s over and over. I think it’s up to you if you want to use Facebook or not. I like it mainly to keep up with certain people – and be able to contact them in an easy manner. I don’t use it a lot. And you should try Tumblr if you want cute dog photos/videos!

-Lauren

Lecy | A Simpler Grace July 11, 2017, 10:15 AM

I stopped sharing a lot of personal stuff online too. Facebook, in particular, has turned into either a place to brag or a place to get attention/sympathy and I’m over it. I interact on funny posts that my friends share and general dialogue but I’m not on as much as I used to be.

Emily July 11, 2017, 10:34 AM

I haven’t been posting a lot of personal stuff online either. I tend to share articles and blogs that I read. Sometimes I don’t even put a caption when I share those articles and blogs.

San July 11, 2017, 11:05 AM

Ah yes, Facebook. It’s a beast. I do have a personal page (and way too many people on my friend’s list!), but I really don’t share that much (or just random stuff like my workouts and sport games that I watched and the OCCASIONAL political statement)… but mostly, I am pretty private on Facebook. I don’t have a Facebook page for my blog either. I prefer IG.

I think if you want to stay on Facebook without going insane, just limit your friends’ list and then also unsubscribe to certain types of posts (you know that you can hide certain posts, right?). That should make your feed less annoying and more digestible!

Beth July 11, 2017, 11:32 AM

It’s very hard for me and I go back and forth too, what I do love is the level of privacy settings available so I can kind of choose who sees what. For me it’s mostly a way to keep family connected, we have a few family groups, I share what Ollie is doing and our out of town relatives can watch him grow. But there is plenty of things about FB that I don’t like so much, namely this weekend I had to be the b*$tch and inform a bunch of older relatives that no one named Jaden Smith will be hacking their account…sigh. My favorite social media channel is honestly Instagram. But I keep FB around as a necessary evil. Does that make sense?

Shannon July 11, 2017, 11:52 AM

Great points! Lately I get so annoyed at how every single time you scroll theres a video that plays automatically, without you wanting it to. Among other things, lol!

lisa thomson July 11, 2017, 12:36 PM

Such a great topic! I really am amazed and appalled at what people will post on facebook. Such personal stuff. Many of these people claim to be ‘introverts’. My thought is; if you’re so introverted why are you sharing this stuff on facebook? One post I read last week was someone (an introvert) ranting about her husband’s family and how they treated her special needs son…I mean really? Could you not have the conversation with the family members in person rather than call them names in public forum? I think it’s very passive aggressive to not face people when you have an issue with them and instead call them out publicly. Anyway, I rarely post anything personal. Love this post, Charlotte. I can’t believe that woman…what a jerk. You did the right thing by checking on the dog and I recall doing the same with a baby in a car seat. I got a dirty look from the mother.

Shybiker July 11, 2017, 1:22 PM

The various social media are useful when we adapt them to our particular needs. For example, I use FB to announce things to a wide array of friends, family, acquaintances and friends of friends. I don’t use it to disclose anything personal (like my being transgender). I use my blog for that. I find Twitter useful for revealing transitory, but often significant thoughts in my head. I once tried doing that on FB but it didn’t work; these people don’t want to hear my deeper thoughts. I believe the key is to customize each medium to the use you want for it.

Shann Eva July 11, 2017, 2:56 PM

I don’t share very much on FB anymore either. I use it mainly for the blog, as that’s where a huge chunk of my traffic comes from. I hate the way they have it set up so that you only see certain people’s posts. But, the political stuff or the really vague posts get on my nerves.

Akaleistar July 11, 2017, 3:05 PM

On Facebook, I mostly share blog or show promos and the occasional life pic. Facebook just isn’t fun anymore, and it’s full of so much negativity… I don’t think Buster pics could get old though 🙂

Jessica Bradshaw July 11, 2017, 5:35 PM

I have really stopped sharing on Facebook too. I get my random thoughts out on twitter and share photos on Insta. I use FB for my blog sharing and that’s about it. I am with you, girl.

Karen July 11, 2017, 5:53 PM

I haven’t been on Facebook in years. I even muted my blog FB page for a few months to see if it mattered and it really didn’t so I think I might just dump the whole thing.
It’s not where I feel most comfortable and there really isn’t any interaction. I know that ‘s not the case for everyone of course but I have more fun on Instagram and Twitter chatting with people.

You should always share pet pictures though. Always! lol

For What It’s Worth

Nicole July 11, 2017, 9:26 PM

I find myself being more of a spectator these days. I mostly post funny or cute things I run across, but I, too, have culled back on the personal sharing. I don’t disconnect entirely because I do enjoy what others post. I think it’s really about what makes you comfortable, but I also think sometimes there’s some oversharing, too.

Penny Struebig July 11, 2017, 10:06 PM

Ah – the love/hate relationship of Facebook. There are days when I really want to respond to posts totally honestly. But then I would lose friends and I don’t want that to happen! lol

Anthea July 12, 2017, 2:22 AM

I am sharing less and less on FB and also logging on less often. I’ve done some unfollowing (unfriending would cause too much drama). I find catching up on blogs more fun (and more positive). I’ve noticed that there are people in my life who are incapable of being happy for others but still want you to like their fake posts where they pretend they are the happiest people on earth. No thanks! I don’t get why a person would post numerous times a day or re-post pictures from years ago with friends they openly don’t even like. Or the endless selfies. What I do enjoy is that I can see what my friends overseas are up to and also when family and friends travel – I love seeing their pics. And I love pet pics 🙂

Sheryl July 12, 2017, 7:13 AM

I’ve come to the point where I share interesting stories, blog posts from my favorite bloggers. I rarely have a personal status. As a counselor, I am easily irritated by the vague things individuals put on their pages in an attempt to get sympathy etc. Social media is an interesting beast and there is proof it leads to depression. I can not tell you the number of clients who had the homework of taking FB off of their phones – that being said, I’m almost certain I found you via FB so I can’t forget there are some positives! XO

StephTheBookworm July 12, 2017, 8:48 AM

I’m a Facebook lover but I only personally share status updates or pictures about once or twice a week. What I hate about social media is everyone either pretending they have a perfect life and the political rants. It gets old. I don’t pretend my life or child are perfect. If my kid is being a brat, I have no problem sharing that. It’s kind of funny (sometimes) and true!

Lindsay July 12, 2017, 11:17 PM

I agree with Ralph and Anthea. I used to post a lottttt years ago and have definitely cut back and I try to only log in once, maybe twice a day if I’m lucky.
xo

Tamara July 13, 2017, 3:20 PM

It’s weird. It’s changed. I’ve noticed changes since the election. I still like it for work and its uncanny ability to keep me in touch with half my world, but it’s different.
My younger sister had some trouble getting pregnant and Facebook was a trigger for her. Now she has a gorgeous son, but the TTC time gave her so much trauma, that she never even announced her own pregnancy on FB, in order not to trigger others. I thought that was so interesting.
She still hasn’t gone back on, two years later. I kinda love that.
(Obviously I’m talking about the sister who isn’t a public figure in NJ with a baby and another on the way.)

Our Love Challenges July 17, 2017, 2:56 PM

Word. I absolutely agree! Btw, keep up the great work, loving it!

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