I was kicked out of a blog group on Facebook (and an announcement!)

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Few things in life hurt more than exclusion. I have fought tirelessly against bullying since I grew up and grew a set, frankly, but I’ve been around it all my life. I was always the awkward kid on the playground and in pictures, and in many ways, I am still plagued by my big hair/bigger glasses persona of my youth.

I was reluctant to write this post. I still can’t believe that it actually happened, but it did and I want to speak my truth. Because when I see someone abuse their power online or in real life, it sets something off inside of me. Maybe this is older, more experienced Charlotte fighting back for the little me who never did.

Whatever it is, I am seeing through the bullshit.

I’ve been a member of a certain Facebook group for years and was an active participant in daily discussions. Many of those bloggers I consider to be friends—because you reach a point where IRL and online blends and you start to lean on your blog friends as much as you do the girlfriends you see on a frequent basis.

And that is what happened to me. I looked forward to coffee and catchup with all of these amazing influencers. I enjoyed getting to know them and seeing a glimpse of their lives—their families, their struggles, and their happy moments.

I was kicked out of the group over the weekend because of a personal issue the moderator had with me. I understand her blocking me on Facebook and social media (though I reserve the right to find it completely childish), but banning me from a group I really enjoyed being a member of is what propelled me to not only write this post but to create a Facebook group with two of my bloggy friends Lindsay and Chrissy.

The Peaceful Posse is a Facebook group where online bullying will not be tolerated under any circumstances. We’ll have a daily thread where bloggers can leave their links while also supporting and interacting with their peers. There aren’t many rules, but we ask that all members are kind and supportive. Mean girls and link dumping are not allowed. Basta. We’ll have fun prompts, giveaways, tips about influencer marketing, and ways we can all grow and learn together. I hope to bring some of what I’ve learned about working with advertisers to the group but I’m mostly hoping to make this a collaborative effort. I believe strongly that we can do extraordinary things when we lean on each other and raise each other up.

I expected to feel a lot more sadness than I actually do after seeing that I was banned from this former group. But then I remembered an important lesson I learned recently—the universe always has my back (I hope maybe now the pic I chose to go along with this post is making a bit more sense). Getting rid of bad juju and focusing on the road ahead has really lifted my mood.

I am SO excited about this new group and I hope you’ll come and join us here (eeeep, this means it’s FINALLY LIVE!). Also if you’re not a blogger but have been thinking about writing and getting those creative juices flowing, I’d love to invite you to come sit with us.

Thank you, my sweet ones, and I hope to interact with you more in our new home! XOXO

36 Comments… add one
Lindsay March 15, 2017, 8:12 AM

Amen sister! Beautifully written my friend and could not have said it better.
I’m so excited to begin this new adventure with such great people (I already knew you two were the shiznit (yep I just said that) but this has propelled us to a whole new level. I’m looking forward to it. 🙂

xoxox

Chrissy March 15, 2017, 8:24 AM

I have to agree with Lindsay, very well written! I am so looking forward to this new adventure with the two of you and cannot wait to see where it takes us! xxx

carma March 15, 2017, 9:31 AM

This saddens me. How petty of them. I cannot imagine you ticking anyone off to that extent – ever. The problem is w/the other individual and not you. Congrats on your new group 🙂

Divya March 15, 2017, 10:55 AM

Is this the one I’m in?! Is that why I haven’t seen your posts up there recently? Ahhh, I’m sorry. I’m joining your group now!

Beth March 15, 2017, 11:25 AM

I’m so happy to be a part of your new FB group! And I’m sorry to hear about the online icky-ness you dealt with. I think it’s awesome you’re rising above that and putting some good back into the world! <3

Bashfully Bold March 15, 2017, 12:33 PM

I saw the name of your new group and my heart with happiness, relief and pride — You ROCK.

alexandra March 15, 2017, 12:50 PM

You always let your heart be your guide, ever since I first met you, this is who you are. Happy with this news, my friend, and basta! is right!!

catherine gacad March 15, 2017, 1:15 PM

I have an intense desire to shame the group that kicked you out. It makes me very angry, as you are one of nicest, most supportive online voices. Joining your group now.

Shann Eva March 15, 2017, 1:48 PM

I can’t believe that you got kicked out a group. You are one of the most genuine and supportive bloggers I’ve met. I’m so happy you have created the new group, and so excited to be a part of it.

Galit Breen March 15, 2017, 2:12 PM

Ugh. I’m SO sorry this happened to you! (*And would you believe–the EXACT same thing happened to me for a super similar reason. I was so caught off guard, because we’re grown ups now!) I really love how you took this experience and created something wonderful + positive out of it. Are you! xoxo

Jessica Bradshaw March 15, 2017, 2:30 PM

What?!?!?! I am so sorry to hear you were kicked out. I cannot even imagine why. You were always posting and supporting others. Go you for creating your own group! Joining now. 🙂

Trish @ The Trish List March 15, 2017, 2:31 PM

Oh my goodness, what has the world come to where facebook groups are so petty? I have just met you in the blogging world, but you are so sweet. So sorry you had to deal with that. Joining your group! So excited for you!

Jess March 15, 2017, 2:32 PM

So wonderfully written, my dear! I am so happy to be a part of your group. But so sad this happened to you. You’re one of the sweetest souls I know. But I love that you’re making something so wonderful and positive out of it.

Tamara March 15, 2017, 2:58 PM

I’m a member!
I feel like Catherine does. You?! I get personal problems. I even (slightly) get drama. But you?? You’re like.. I can’t imagine anyone being offended by you. So strange and I’m sorry you had to go through it.

texerinsydney March 15, 2017, 5:30 PM

I’ve never been a member of a fb group for bloggers (except for a book challenge that I run, but it is by no way exclusive to bloggers.) I’m all about support and positivity, so this group thing will be a new experience for me.

Lindsay March 15, 2017, 6:28 PM

I’m so thrilled to be a part of this new blogging group!

lisa thomson March 15, 2017, 7:17 PM

Oh, my gosh. I can’t believe the pettiness of some people. I don’t know this group you speak of, but as you say, it has given you the motivation to move onto better things (and people perhaps). Good for you for turning this negative experience into a positive! You’re so inspiring, Charlotte! I have been accepted into the group—yipee. Thanks for having me as part of your posse 🙂 I’m not on facebook a lot, so if you don’t see my face there often that’s because I’ve made a habit of keeping it to a minimum. Who knows, belonging to this group might motivate me to be on there more. Thanks, Charlotte for being such a beautiful person and influencer. xoxo

Sheryl March 15, 2017, 7:31 PM

Well this makes me angry and I’m thinking I know the player because I have had some snarkiness myself. The world is so much better if we are simply kind to each other. Looking forward to the new group. XOXOXO

Leslie March 15, 2017, 7:32 PM

I can’t believe she kicked you out over a personal opinion. That is crazy. I love finding new groups to fit into, i am shy and huge groups make me a little timid. I joined your group and i am looking forward to interacting with you guys!

ShootingStarsMag March 15, 2017, 8:28 PM

I’m sorry this happened to you! People need to not be so mean and rude – even online. It still counts. I’m glad you and some friends created a more pleasant FB group though. I’ll join!

-Lauren

Akaleistar March 15, 2017, 8:39 PM

That’s so upsetting, but how awesome to get together with friends and start your own group! Just joined 🙂

Nikki March 15, 2017, 9:47 PM

I am sorry to hear this happened to you. As a child, I to, experienced the “mean girls.” Navigating those waters were a challenge to say the least. But its particularly sad when it happens in adulthood.

But your right – the universe has your back! I can’t wait to become a part of your beautiful Facebook group! <3

Dominique March 15, 2017, 10:22 PM

I felt so sad to hear this had happened when I saw your post! I’ll be sure to check out your new group *sending virtual hugs your way*

jenn March 15, 2017, 11:47 PM

hey there. erin invited me to join this facebook group yall’ve established. first of all, thanks for forming it. i’ve always liked the idea of facebook groups for bloggers because it helps forge friendships and increase blog traffic.

i was a member of one a few years ago. not long after joining, it became cliquish–fast. the gals in it would spend more time bashing another blogger than getting to know each other. i got sick of reading the negativity and made a comment on it. and from that moment on, i was persona non grata. the blogger who’d invited me to join, who’d established the group, we’d been blogging allies for years. and then… nothing.

i surely hope this group can serve the purpose you’ve imagined. i’m happy to give it a go. thank you.

Christine Caplan March 16, 2017, 12:55 AM

Thank you so much for the invitation to join this group – As a pet blogger I don’t feel like I know bloggers that are outside my niche and I’ve enjoyed getting to know Lindsay. It’s nice to meet you – I HATE bullies and anyone that excludes others. It cannot be tolerated. Hurting others feelings is the worst kind of behavior in my book.

Kim M March 16, 2017, 1:27 AM

Got nothing but love for you lady! You have always been kind and encouraging to me. Looking forward to the new group 🙂

Lindsay March 16, 2017, 8:01 AM

So happy to see all hear supportive friends and that we’re not alone. 🙂 🙂

xoxoox

Rachel March 16, 2017, 10:17 AM

I was kicked out of a online blog group as well for no reason…just one day I was blocked. At that point..I just quit joining blog groups.

Kim Airhart March 16, 2017, 10:41 AM

That is really sad. It sounds like the moderator is pretty childish. I am happy to be a part of your group.

Shybiker March 16, 2017, 9:27 PM

It always hurts to be excluded so I’m sorry for your pain, but the best response is exactly what you did — to start your own group. Screw them! Enjoy life and let them envy you for the fun you’re having with true friends.

My Inner Chick March 17, 2017, 7:51 AM

Well, that so-called group was not for you…like being back in high school and it still HURTS. The moderator should change her title. She’s NOT good at her job! Thanks for the great post. xxx from MN.

Penny Struebig March 17, 2017, 8:33 AM

Way to turn a big situation around and make it a good one! Good for you for starting the new group. I’m on my way right to go join.

Krista March 17, 2017, 9:58 AM

Excited to be part of the new group!

Karen M Peterson March 18, 2017, 5:34 AM

Oh my gosh, I despise what people think they can get away with when hiding behind a computer screen. I, too, have dealt with bullying throughout my life and I just will never really understand it.

Mrs Match March 19, 2017, 11:42 AM

I’m so sorry, my friend! It really stinks when people block you out like that. It sounds like you are way better off, and don’t need that kind of negativity anyways. I am so glad you created a new group. XO

Dean March 30, 2017, 11:29 AM

I cannot believe someone would kick YOU out of a FB group! You’re so sweet, kind, supportive, loving, all the wonderful adjectives!!
I just had someone report me to FB for not using my real name on there. I don’t use my personal FB, I only use FB for my blog, and I rarely even use it for that.
I have joined a few groups, but I’m not super active on them, because I’m not a regular Facebooker.
Anyway, kudos to you for not letting this hinder you, it’s power when you can realize the universe truly has you cradled, but not only the universe, YOU.
xoxo

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