Yesterday started just like any other ordinary rainy day Wednesday. Except that from the moment I woke up, I knew things would be different. Unlike most days when I go for a walk, feed the dog in haste, and sit down to check my emails, I decided to enjoy the peace and stillness of a good book (Attachments by Rainbow Rowell in case you were wondering) and a hot cup of coffee. For the first time, I noticed a tree branch drenched in shiny rain droplets.
So much beauty on an otherwise cloudy and miserable morning, I thought.
My phone started chirping almost immediately.
“Charlotte, check your email.”
It sounds so trite to say that I had a premonition of bad things to come but I knew in the pit of my stomach what was waiting for me.
I jumped up from my comfy nest on the couch and began scanning my emails to find the one that mattered.
“Going in a different direction…”
“We are not going to be moving forward with your services…”
“Appreciate the work you have done….”
So that’s it. Three weeks to Christmas and I was getting an email from my boss to tell me that I would soon be out of a job; that my livelihood has an expiration date.
It was a bitter pill to swallow, and I haven’t been able to make much sense of it since. After my last blog post I knew I had to take my career in a different direction. But dammit, I wanted to be the one to make that decision.
This morning my parents called and I gave them the scoop.
“Chah-lotte,” my mother drawled in her thick, German accent, “von door closes and ze ozer opens, ya?”
My father on the other hand sat quietly on the other end.
“I worry for you,” he said at last when I had finished spilling all the gory details.
And just like that, my heart shattered in a million tiny pieces.
Somehow, that hurt more than the actual news itself.