Breaking the girl code

– Posted in: ink, other

Over the weekend, I accompanied Bryan while he got more ink done on his sleeve. It’s become somewhat of a tradition. Every few months he makes an appearance at the tattoo shop, and I either bring a book and get some reading done, have a friend meet me to catch up, BS with the guys who work there, or run next door to get a manicure. The evening usually ends with a dinner at Veggie Heaven (though now that we have Penelope, we nixed that part of the plan to rush home).

We hadn’t seen Bryan’s tattoo artist in awhile and it was nice to catch up with him. While we were chatting, I noticed a girl lying on her side in a separate room, getting a tattoo of a flower on her ribs. She was breathtaking: thin with tall brown boots, long, knotted dreadlocks, piercings. If I had to venture a guess, I’d say she was mid-20s. Though I didn’t mean to, I couldn’t help but glance over a few times (I’ll be the first to admit that I can appreciate a beautiful girl).

While her tattoo artist put his needle down and cleaned up, she came to an area close to us, and lifted her shirt to get a good glimpse of her new ink in the mirror.

“That looks really great!” I said.


Thinking that she hadn’t heard me, I repeated myself a few moments later.

Oh, I thought. She hears me… she’s just ignoring me.

It was then that she made her way even closer to show Bryan and his tattoo artist the work. She stood mere inches away, exposing her naval, and saying how happy she was with the work.

Part of me wanted to reach out and say, listen, I GET IT, because in all honesty, I understood completely what she was doing. Clearly she didn’t give a shit what the only other chick in the tattoo shop thought about her tattoo; she wanted to show it to the dudes.

But I still thought it was a little rude. At the very least she could have acknowledged that I was sitting there, too. At the time, it felt as though she had breached some unspoken rule in the Girl Code.

Bryan, who is usually Captain Oblivious when it comes to this kind of behavior (bless his heart) noticed and thought it was bizarre, but you know, chicks, man.

Am I overreacting, and what would you have done?

25 Comments… add one
Felicia January 9, 2014, 10:30 AM

yeah that’s a bit bizarre, I would have been offended for no other reason than she pointedly ignored me. I can’t stand rude people. They just irk me. But in the end I wouldn’t have done anything but mutter under my breath because I hate confrontation.

Laura January 9, 2014, 10:31 AM

I would have replied “Tattoo looks great, now you just need to work on the bad attitude”. Women who base their self-worth on attention from men are out there, unfortunately.

Laura January 9, 2014, 10:33 AM

…I agree with Felicia, typically I’m not a fan of confrontation… depends how feisty I was feeling that day!

Lillian January 9, 2014, 10:57 AM

Um, ew. That’s what I have to say for her behavior.

Rachel Cotterill January 9, 2014, 2:06 PM

That’s just rude in any circumstance, but what can you do? I’m not sure there’s any chance of a positive outcome from saying something about it.

Kim Miller January 9, 2014, 2:51 PM

It was just rude, period. I’m not sure that saying anything would have changed it much either. Maybe if one of the men spoke up (or ignored her the same way she had just done to you) it would have made an impact, since she obviously didn’t care about anyone’s attention but theirs. Her problem though, not yours, and I think when she gets to thirty/forty something (and is less breathtaking) karma will have a way of coming back and biting her in the rump!

Elizabeth January 9, 2014, 3:29 PM

I think rudeness is awful and disrespectful no matter what the circumstance. There is never a reason to ignore someone or be mean to them… especially when they are paying you a compliment! On the other hand, I’m in the no-confrontation club too, so I’d probably just sit and fume at her silently.

Mommy Goes On January 9, 2014, 5:31 PM

I’m also in the no-confrontation club. But what a jerk. And then, to rub it in your face on top of it? You are definitely NOT overreacting.

Nicole January 9, 2014, 9:35 PM

I totally get what you’re saying. I wouldn’t let it bug you though… I probably would’ve continued the convo without her, all by myself, like
“Gee, thanks, I really like the way it came out!”
“Yeah, that’s a really pretty flower selection, and I love the colors!”
“Really? Thanks! I wasn’t so sure about it, but now I really do love it!”

We can’t control how others behave. We can only control how we let it affect us. There’s a woman I work with who, for whatever reason, doesn’t like me. She goes out of her way to be nasty to me. I just ignore her. I’m not going to stop behaving professionally just because she’s got some problem. Let her deal with her problem. Same with this girl. That stuff comes back around. You’re the better person for not reacting.

Blond Duck January 9, 2014, 10:08 PM

She’s just a bitch.

Kristy Mauna January 9, 2014, 10:43 PM

I don’t think you are over reacting at all! I think that is rude. I’m not one for confrontation so I probably wouldn’t have even said it a second time I probably would have just complained about it later lol
That was bizarre though and just plain RUDE!

Ilene January 10, 2014, 10:15 PM

One day when she’s longing for more girlfriends, she’ll wish she had acknowledged you – and the other women that she’s ignored. Yes, it was rude, But I feel sorry for her in a way. I hate to say this but women really CAN be complicated!

trininista January 11, 2014, 6:53 AM

I don’t even understand the motivation for being so blatantly rude. I probably would have been a bitch to her in my sweetest way possible. I am good at that. lol.

Kimberly January 11, 2014, 11:04 AM

I would have said the same thing that Laura said.
Maybe it’s just me, but sometimes I find that when I compliment a girl with a lot of beautiful tattoos, I get mixed responses. I’ll get thanks and sometimes I’ll get that “thanks you square”…does that make sense?
I have tattoos, small ones, but when someone spots it and gives me a compliment, you better believe I thank them. Tattoos are art and chosen with care. So yea, she’s a dick. LOL

T.Dashfield January 11, 2014, 12:17 PM

As one who has gotten inked but didn’t go around showing it to the entire place…I will show my ink off in a minute and will thank ANYone who compliments me. Yeah she was a hussy and I probably would’ve muttered something loudly about it….

Jean January 11, 2014, 7:29 PM

She must have been young. Right? To be so rude, so callous. You handled it correctly, repeating yourself and then knowing it was just her own bad behavior.

Nicole January 11, 2014, 7:52 PM

I am with Felicia! I wouldn’t have said anything. But it was extremely rude and it can make a beautiful girl ugly instantly. And how insecure is she that she needed that kind of approval. Skank. lol Ok I am done. Oh wait also I LOVE anyone who compliments my tattoo! =)

Aileen Barker January 11, 2014, 10:40 PM

That would have driven me CRAAAZY, but I wouldn’t have said anything. Similar thing happened to my mom at a pet store when I was like 10. I’ve always been an animal lover and my mom asked, repeatedly, loudly if they took any volunteers because she thought it’d be good for me. They didn’t even acknowledge her presence. As a kid I thought it was race related, but now I don’t know. I do know I NEVER went there again and they’re out of business now so… karma.

Carrie Bird January 13, 2014, 7:48 PM

I would have said something sarcastic. I hate when girls do that dumb girl stuff ESPECIALLY in front of my husband. But this is just plain weird to me. If she had just ignored you all together and not come over to show the guys – that’s one thing but to do BOTH?! That’s beyond rude, that’s ballsy.
I’m pretty sure girls like that don’t get too far.

Oh yeah, stopping by from SITS <3

Blond Duck January 13, 2014, 10:30 PM

I hope you’re having a good week!

Lisa Newlin January 13, 2014, 11:17 PM

Of course you didn’t overreact! That chick sounds like a total you-know-what. You were being nice and supportive, which is what women are supposed to do…even if we don’t know each other.

It’s women like her that give the rest of us a bad rap for being caddy and snobby. You were going out of your way to compliment her and she went out of her way to basically smack you in the face.

I probably would have said something like “The tattoo looks great, but I think you may need your hearing checked out.”

Either that, or call her a foul word and then when she looks at you to say something just say “Oh, I thought you couldn’t hear me since you ignored me the rest of the time.”

carma January 14, 2014, 1:02 PM

that sure sounds like an intentional diss – unless she has bad hearing. I’d be a little put out as well

Tina @ Life Without Pink January 15, 2014, 8:49 AM

I just don’t get how some people can be so rude. Honestly, there’s no excuse for it at all!

catherine gacad January 15, 2014, 10:01 PM

why are some people so rude?! i would have been so steamed, i would have called her out on it. like HELLO BEEATCH, didn’t you hear me say something?

Mrs. Match January 22, 2014, 1:18 AM

Ugh what a bitch! I probably would have just tried killing her with kindness. I might have even walked up closer to get a better look, just to make her feel uncomfortable. I can’t stand rude girls!

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