On Friday night I hugged a dear friend I have worked with for several years and stained her shoulders with salty tears. I cried ugly tears in a bar, ya’ll. It wasn’t pretty. All at once, the 5 (6?) glasses of Riesling I had been drinking caught up with me and I become emotional about saying goodbye to the coworkers I loved so very much. This was the precise moment when my cousin’s fiance came in and about five minutes before I possibly vomited on Bryan’s shirt on the way to the bathroom. My timeline may be off but this was also about 15 minutes before I proceeded to spew Riesling all along 30th street as another friend held back my hair. Dear God. That was embarrassing.
Why am I telling you all of this?
Yesterday I put 10 years of publishing experience behind me to move in an entirely different professional direction. After nearly convincing myself that I could never possibly succeed in something that seemed like a pipe dream, I woke up to the alarm with a spring in my step and a new outlook on life. Yesterday I traded in my editor hat to start over as a marketing specialist.
When I kissed and hugged my friends that evening, I was scared about the uncertainty of my future. These girls are my sisters; the guys are the ones I turned to when I needed a male perspective. Since that evening, I’ve had a bit of time to reflect on this new era and I realized that just because I close one chapter in my life, doesn’t mean I turn my back on those memories and these friends. I fully intend to make good on my promise to come out for happy hours and be as present as I can in all of their lives.
Saturday I met a friend I have known since the playground days. A kid, a house, and a full time job later, she’s not always free for a play date, but we shared an umbrella, went shopping, and laughed at the absurdity of life’s stranger moments. And on Sunday, I put on a green shirt to wish a happy birthday to one of my besties.
For a while, I was concerned that this job would remove me from the social life I have grown so accustomed to and that working from home meant I would lose touch with the friends who have been with me in good times and in bad. I realize now that with a bit of extra effort, none of that has to change. So now I get to work in my pajamas and avoid commuting to the city on extra slushy days. Not such a bad trade-off if you ask me.
I may still be operating on nerves, excitement, and fear, but I’m told this is completely normal and that it may take some time until I don’t feel like the new kid on the block.
Thankfully I was on the morning call as promised yesterday and I was surprisingly lucid. I furiously scribbled notes on three notebook pages and absorbed as much info as I could. I received positive feedback and realized that this is where I’m meant to be.
I have nothing to worry about. And neither do my friends. I’m not going anywhere.
Some pictures. Taken while I was still standing.