ugly crying in a bar

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On Friday night I hugged a dear friend I have worked with for several years and stained her shoulders with salty tears. I cried ugly tears in a bar, ya’ll. It wasn’t pretty. All at once, the 5 (6?) glasses of Riesling I had been drinking caught up with me and I become emotional about saying goodbye to the coworkers I loved so very much. This was the precise moment when my cousin’s fiance came in and about five minutes before I possibly vomited on Bryan’s shirt on the way to the bathroom. My timeline may be off but this was also about 15 minutes before I proceeded to spew Riesling all along 30th street as another friend held back my hair. Dear God. That was embarrassing.

Why am I telling you all of this?

Yesterday I put 10 years of publishing experience behind me to move in an entirely different professional direction. After nearly convincing myself that I could never possibly succeed in something that seemed like a pipe dream, I woke up to the alarm with a spring in my step and a new outlook on life. Yesterday I traded in my editor hat to start over as a marketing specialist.

When I kissed and hugged my friends that evening, I was scared about the uncertainty of my future. These girls are my sisters; the guys are the ones I turned to when I needed a male perspective. Since that evening, I’ve had a bit of time to reflect on this new era and I realized that just because I close one chapter in my life, doesn’t mean I turn my back on those memories and these friends. I fully intend to make good on my promise to come out for happy hours and be as present as I can in all of their lives.

Saturday I met a friend I have known since the playground days. A kid, a house, and a full time job later, she’s not always free for a play date, but we shared an umbrella, went shopping, and laughed at the absurdity of life’s stranger moments. And on Sunday, I put on a green shirt to wish a happy birthday to one of my besties.

For a while, I was concerned that this job would remove me from the social life I have grown so accustomed to and that working from home meant I would lose touch with the friends who have been with me in good times and in bad. I realize now that with a bit of extra effort, none of that has to change. So now I get to work in my pajamas and avoid commuting to the city on extra slushy days. Not such a bad trade-off if you ask me.

I may still be operating on nerves, excitement, and fear, but I’m told this is completely normal and that it may take some time until I don’t feel like the new kid on the block.

Thankfully I was on the morning call as promised yesterday and I was surprisingly lucid. I furiously scribbled notes on three notebook pages and absorbed as much info as I could. I received positive feedback and realized that this is where I’m meant to be.

I have nothing to worry about. And neither do my friends. I’m not going anywhere.

Some pictures. Taken while I was still standing.

17 Comments… add one
Nicole March 19, 2013, 8:48 AM

Yes, this. I believe we’ve covered this extensively. 😉

I think there are times when life legitimately takes you away from a social life, and other times when it’s just an excuse for lack of effort. But, in all the years that we’ve been friends, I’ve never known you to not make the effort to be the tremendous friend you are. I don’t think a job change will suddenly make you an absent friend. It’s not in you to be that way.

SO excited that you feel so comfy and excited about your new role. I felt the same in my last career change. Like a fish to watah! LOL! Congrats, love. xoxox

p.s. I have uglied cried in bars more times than I’d like to count, and more than I can likely remember. LOL!

Lillian March 19, 2013, 9:26 AM

I have the pictures from when you weren’t standing. . .HEE HEE! Just kidding! Thank you for letting me be part of your Friday night – since we don’t always have the stars align to make plans work out. I appreciate being able to come!! 🙂 And will hopefully be seeing you more often now!!

Alexandra March 19, 2013, 10:26 AM

This is going to be so exciting!!

New adventures, new growth, so much to learn and see.

I’m really thrilled for you.


Krysten March 19, 2013, 10:47 AM

How very excited for you Charlotte and I am so proud and happy for you! I think you’re going to be amazing.

And you puking wine all over the place? Well. I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there, hehe.

Gia March 19, 2013, 7:15 PM

Looks like so much fun! 🙂 Honestly, I think working from home which just make it that much easier to accomodate scheduling issues that usually arise. Hopefully, you’ll have plenty of time to keep these precious friendships alive for many years to come!

Single Mom in the South March 20, 2013, 5:26 PM

Best wishes on this newest journey my friend. As was said to me the last time I had a similar ordeal with over-imbibing, it happens, especially when nervous about something!

Tamara March 21, 2013, 1:19 PM

Hopefully there are no puking pictures of you! What a deep journey. Heck, I lost my mind after leaving four years in software sales for living in San Francisco with my boyfriend. I don’t even like software sales. You’ll do great in your new venture.

Sherelle March 21, 2013, 4:51 PM

Congrats on the new job opportunity! By now, I’m sure you’re nice and settled in. I meant to return the comment love sooner, but work has been insane for me lately. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

keishua March 21, 2013, 8:59 PM

moving on is hard but sometimes we gotta do it because it’s what’s best. give yourself a bit to adjust. even good change can be hard.

Karen Peterson March 22, 2013, 8:33 PM

I’m so excited for you and this new adventure. Even if it’s a little bit sad to say good bye to what was familiar. But you’re right, it doesn’t have to be good bye forever. It’s practically impossible to lose contact with people these days.

Kim@Co-Pilot Mom March 23, 2013, 3:40 PM

Congratulations on this new adventure! You’re right – just because you are moving in a new direction professionally, doesn’t mean you have to leave your friends behind.

Kate March 23, 2013, 8:40 PM

Good luck with your next step! I am sure it is bittersweet. Stumbled upon your blog today and will check back to see if things go well- as I am sure they will!

Classic NYer March 23, 2013, 10:16 PM

Working from home doesn’t mean you’re out of a social life. It means that you have a chance to shower and change before hitting the street instead of trying to kick it after wearing high heels all day.

Happy sharefest!

carma March 24, 2013, 9:01 PM

I think with the dreamy telecommuting you will soon forget the old job and love your new life!

Mrs. Match March 24, 2013, 9:04 PM

aw looks like a great way to say goodbye. You are going to LOVE your new job. I am so excited for you.

Lucy March 25, 2013, 5:08 AM

Oh man, ugly drunken years are awesome and terrible all rolled up in a messy ball.

Also I’m very jealous of you working from home, very jealous.

Pretzel Thief April 25, 2013, 2:28 AM

Hugs! I can imagine how hard it must’ve been to say goodbye to all these wonderful peeps but, as you say, you’ll keep in touch and you’ve got a wonderful new career to look forward to through a new job at which you kick ass BECAUSE DUH, how could you not?! Mwah!

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