Valentine’s Day, Shmalentine’s Day

– Posted in: dating, Valentine’s Day

Valentine's Day

I’ve never been a big fan of Valentine’s Day, regardless of whether or not I am in a relationship. I dislike the way the holiday has a way of isolating those who are single and I hate the pressure it puts on couples to outdo each other every year. What should be a celebration of love often turns into a competition among girlfriends to see whose boyfriend gets top honors.

My birthday and Valentine’s Day tend to fall into the same category for me (“Wake Me Up When It’s Over”).

It all dates back to my elementary school years when I would come to school with a box full of personalized greetings, making sure to give one to every person in class. By the end of the day, even Columbus who sat behind me and relentlessly made fun of my name gave me a red envelope. Clearly someone in his family told him it would be the right thing to do.

Years later in high school, my friends and I made it a habit to send flowers to each other with thoughtful greetings like, “Roses are red, violets are blue, this holiday sucks, let me borrow your coat after class.” They were usually short and sweet and they allowed us to take comfort in the fact that we always had each other.

The other night I went to a local haunt with a few coworkers and we discussed our upcoming plans for the holiday. Since Bryan and I work opposite shifts, it’s difficult for us to really see each other during the week. I hope to God the day comes and goes without much fanfare. Last year he cooked a delicious feast at home, pulled out my chair, and did the dishes. That far exceeded any expectations I had for the holiday and I hope we continue to keep it a low-key event.

Hearing friends already freak out about the day makes me immensely grateful that I am secure enough to know that pomp and circumstance on Valentine’s Day does not solidify my feelings for Bryan, and vice versa. I’ve been in enough relationships to know that having someone pull out all the stops on one day alone doesn’t mean anything in the end; how they treat you the other 364 days a year is what matters most.

What about you? Do you have plans for Valentine’s Day, or would you like me to wake you when it’s all over?

13 Comments… add one
Krysten February 13, 2013, 11:12 AM

I work tomorrow and it’s going to be BAD because someone from corporate is coming to check us out. Yay. So I’m meeting Izzy at the movies after to see Beautiful Creatures. Maybe he’ll buy me some popcorn?

I do love the idea of V-Day but you’re right, we should celebrate love EVERY DAY, not just February 14th.

Britton February 13, 2013, 3:49 PM

I definitely agree! I am just like you! I don’t really care for the holiday. Never have, even though, whether I was single or not. This year is my first year actually being single, and I’m already ready for it to be over! I’ve done some cute things for my girls (daughters) though, and see them happy, makes me happy. 🙂

Rachel Cotterill February 13, 2013, 4:00 PM

I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day – I always figured it was just a(nother) conspiracy by the card companies – but I’d never miss an excuse to say “I love you”. Andy & I will just have a quiet evening at home together 🙂

Ned February 13, 2013, 5:54 PM

I’m essentially torn about Valentine’s Day, at least in the sense that I think it sends the message that men — and, yes, being a man I can say men — can just focus on being thoughtful and attentive a few times a year (anniversary and birthday included). I know a lot of men who think, as long as they have those three days covered, they’re good. The truth is, there’s Arbor Day, Canadian Boxing Day, National Mustard Day… I guess what I’m trying to say is that, if it’s the right person — and it’s not Super Bowl Sunday — they should feel they have your undivided attention and appreciation every day. Valentine’s Day is just a bonus because there’s a good possibility of chocolate involved in whatever you’re planning. And we’ll just leave it at that…

Blond Duck February 13, 2013, 10:11 PM

I like having fun with it– I don’t like the whole go out and buy crap to prove love. I just like wearing pink. 🙂 And I LOVE those nasty little candy hearts, even if I can’t eat them anymore. Maybe I’ll glue them to a canvas. 🙂

Maria February 13, 2013, 11:54 PM

Great post! As you know, I was not a fan of this holiday when I was single. Besides New Year’s Eve, It was the most awful day of the year. Now I’ve grown to love this day and embrace it because I’ve made it more for the kids than myself. Like staying up til midnight for a week making chocolate heart pops for her preschool class. Making Valentine’s out of construction paper, and dressing them up in cute outfits with hearts on them and seeing the smiles on their faces. Sure, the hubby and I will exchange cards, chocolates, flowers, etc., but there is no pressure and we certainly don’t try and outdo each other. It’s so refreshing to feel secure in a relationship and not have to worry about that stuff. It’s like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. What a stark contrast to how insecure I felt all those years ago as a single on that day. I think that feeling in part was due to a lack of maturity. Like you in your relationship with Bryan, I know the love is there everyday. I don’t need Valentine’s Day to prove that love.

Gia February 14, 2013, 4:55 AM

I’m in the same zone as you regarding v-day. This year, I felt a surge to do send my guy something since we’re long distance and I wanted to show him that I appreciate him – but overall, it means very little to me. I think the sentiment is sweet but I don’t think it needs to be an overblown holiday. I feel so uncomfortable when I’m just another couple at a restaurant full of girls wearing red and roses in my hand. It feels all too cliche then. I wish the holiday revolved more around celebrating all the love you have in your life vs. the one you share with your significant other.

But in the spirit of that, happy valentines to you my bloggie friend! You’re so dear to me. XOXO

keishua February 14, 2013, 6:27 AM

not a fan of the “holiday” myself. the sentiments good but it has become really too formulaic and commercial to do much good. plus, it puts such crazy expectations on people. we will pass the day as any other because isn’t every day valentine’s day?

misssrobin February 14, 2013, 2:18 PM

We’re very low key for Valentine’s Day. I’m just not a big celebrator in general. I wish people a happy day and tell them I love them. That’s about it. On a good year I might give them chocolate bars.

I’m thinking tonight we’ll watch Chocolat. Chocolate and romance all rolled into one good movie and topped with Johnny Depp. That sounds like a great night to me.

Happy Valentine’s Day, in whatever way you want to celebrate it. Stopping by from SITS.

Alison February 14, 2013, 7:42 PM

I’m a Valentine’s Day poo-pooer. A V-Day scrooge, if you may.
I just think it’s silly to use that one day to demonstrate love.
I’d much rather get flowers on May 3, or some other random day, just because.

Tina @ Life Without Pink February 14, 2013, 8:20 PM

We don’t celebrate V-day either. Actually it used to be our anniversary (when we had our first date), but since we got married we haven’t really done anything. Like tonight he is working late and I’m chasing kids…Vday is just another day for me.

carma February 16, 2013, 5:43 PM

it was just another day

Girl with a New Life February 20, 2013, 12:14 PM

We always keep it simple and low pressure.

And our fondue pajama party is something we hope to do with our future children one day.

PS I know someone who runs a pre-school and she says V-day is the worst holiday of the year for tantrums and hurt feelings. So this all starts very early.

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