It’s been difficult to find a balance these past few weeks. With an influx of deadlines, responsibilities, and freelance projects, my life has been pulled in quite a few different directions lately. I’m not complaining; I’m always grateful for the chance to get extra side work (so is my bank account) and I love coming home to a new furry friend (even when she does her hyper dance around the coffee table and demolishes everything in her path). Though my eyes could use a bit of a break from all the small text, the life of an editor is one that I’m accustomed to and it’s a title I’ll proudly carry with me forever.
The other day I had a friend visit me in Hoboken. As the mother of two, she also finds it hard to see her friends with the frequency I’m sure she’d like, but I’m constantly impressed by the amount of effort she puts into all of her friendships. When she listens, she truly hears, and I find myself tucking away bits of wisdom she shares with me for later use. After a brief (but frozen) walk around town, we ducked into a local Italian restaurant where the poor waiter managed to not only spill our entire bottle of Riesling all over the floor, he also slipped and flopped around in it like a fish left out of the water for too long. He was kind enough to replace the bottle; I just hope he didn’t do serious damage to his back!
I also was able to see a girlfriend for drinks the other night at PS 450, a sexy little hot spot tucked away in Murray Hill. Over midnight mojitos, I told her how much I’ve missed her and that we need to continue our tradition of drinking at swanky bars in NYC more often. I meant every word. My friendships mean so much and I don’t want to fail in this department.
I never want to become one of those girls who puts her relationship/life above all else. There IS a way to find a balance, even when it requires a bit of juggling.
This means I can’t say yes to everything. It makes me sad to admit that this will be the first in three years that I’m breaking the tradition of running into the ice cold waters in Long Beach for the Polar Bear dive this Sunday. And I have not visited with my folks since I took in Sandy. I haven’t quite solidified plans with my best friend, but we’re beginning tentative talks about a date now.
Do you have a hard time finding balance for everything? Does it hurt you to say no sometimes?
Yes. And Yes. Right now, I have to give my all to my new job, studying, and trying to stay afloat. It forces my social life to take a backseat, and that does hurt. But I’m trying to remind myself that it’s temporary and helping me carve my new path. Friends understand when life gets in the way. And that’s what makes them friends. xoxo
Nicole´s last [type] ..Dear Academia: An Open Letter
You will never be “one of those girls”– just the fact that you are aware of becoming one speaks volumes. Cheers to swanky bars!!! xoxox
i don’t think you will become one of “those” girls. awareness is key. plus, things happen in season. sometimes it’s just the cycle but i think that making an effort-calling, texting or emailing are great ways to stay in touch. i am really touched with someone texts-i love and miss you out of the blue.
keishua´s last [type] ..project life
You care about your relationships too much to ever let them go on the back burner. I think you already have a great balance-and I’m sure other people who are close to you would say the same. Yes, life happens, but i don’t think you will ever sacrifice what’s most important to you. Love you, my friend! Xoxo
Finding balance is hard to do when you are a busy person. I’m still working on finding balance between work, family and friends. It’s easier said than done but it can happen.
Bonda84´s last [type] ..Faint of Heart
I have more of a hard time just getting myself out the door. Sometimes it’s so much easier to stay home… and that’s sad.
Krysten´s last [type] ..Two Wrongs (and a Right)
This is such an important topic, girl!
I think we’re all striving for, and struggling with, this kind of balance!
xo
Galit Breen´s last [type] ..About Letting Them Fall, on Moonfrye
That you’re writing and thinking about this? You won’t be ‘that’ girl. Balance is hard. Just when you think you’ve got it, something throws a wrench in the works. Such is life, it’d always be a work in progress!
Alison´s last [type] ..7 Deadly Sins Of Blogging
It is SO hard to say no to friends and family. I try to, but I hate it, so I juggle probably more than I really should.
Karen Peterson´s last [type] ..The Best 100 Movies According to Karen
Yes, the endless battle to fit in everything you love. I definitely struggle with it but I try to make it a point to see the people I love and care about when I can so that when I can’t, everyone is understanding. Sometimes, it’s about sacrificing that extra hour of sleep for an extra conversation with a friend. But usually, in the end, my soul appreciates the conversation anymore anyhow.
And just to echo everyone’s sentiments, I can tell you care too much to let people you love ever fall to the backburner. XOXO
Gia´s last [type] ..talking on the phone.
I never hesitate to say no, but I do get plenty of guilt sent my way when I do say no.
And sometimes no is not about having a super important something-else on my calendar, sometimes no is just needing time to recharge my batteries so I can be the best “me” for the stuff I am making time for. And sparing everyone, including myself, the agony of spending time with a super stressed, barely present, distracted version of me.
On the flip side, I honor my relationships by always keeping my word, showing up when I say I’m going to show up (rather than canceling at the last minute or making up lame excuses) and bringing positive, nurturing energy to my friendships. (I’ve seen plenty of the opposite from my acquaintances who are swinging from one over-booked week to the next.)
Gosh this is a long comment. Just want you to know your words are important to me. Hugs.
Girl with a New Life´s last [type] ..A Writing Challenge: More Perfect
Yes and yes. The worst part is when I can’t do something for my children because other responsibilities get in the way. In my mind, they should always come first… always… but Mamma needs her job to support us and sometimes it gets in the way!
Single Mom in the South´s last [type] ..Friday Fragments: No Common Thread
You are spot on about the importance of maintaining our friendships. Now that I am done w/school – I make it a point of getting together with my 3 walking buddies as often as I can and to meet up once a month with my friend from HS who lives an hour away. It is very therapeutic for all of us
carma´s last [type] ..Traveling Alone
Ugh, yes I have a really hard time saying no. This week is a great example-we have plans every day this week, and it’s rough. It feels like all the invitations to do things all come at once, and then there are weeks where we do nothing. Why is that? I wish they could be more spread out!
I’m glad you’re finding time to balance your relationships. They’re so important to maintain!
Oh, yes.
I’ve been mulling this over, feeling like I”m such a bad friend: IRL and online.
BUt life, especially with the loss of my nephew, I have no energy. And I don’t feel like talking. Like I”m in a fog, but if you forget about people, they forget about you.
It’s just how it is.
Thank you for always being around for me.
Thank you.
Alexandra´s last [type] ..On Feeling Lonely