how not to pick up a girl on NJ transit

– Posted in: dating

“Did you know there are rock, paper, scissor competitions all over the world?”

I snapped out of my meditative state to face the handsome stranger seated next to me on the train.

“Yea, I actually heard there’s a big vineyard in California that draws people from all over the world to compete,” I responded. I have no idea where I leaned this tidbit of information, but it seemed to come in handy.

“What do you need to win? Is it even considered a game of skill?”

So started my conversation with a Ukrainian guy on his way home to New Jersey over the Christmas break.

He asked what I was doing on this train after I told him I work in the city and live in Hoboken.

“Oh, I thought maybe you were a dancer at a nightclub.” Uhhh…

“I thought the world was going to end today! All that wind, rain…”

“Yea, it was rather eerie, looking out on the bleak nothing outside the window. So what is it you do, Pavlo?”

“I work with guns and drugs.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I’m kidding. Woah. I really got you there! I’m actually really Japanese.”

“Yea, I was going to say you were either Ukrainian or Japanese. I couldn’t quite guess though.”

He laughed. I counted down the minutes until he made it to his stop.

“People never just chat on the trains anymore.”

“I know. I guess we are so accustomed to staring at our phones,” I said rolling my phone between my fingers.

It was in fact a pleasant conversation though I could have done without the dancer comment. It’s a rare thing truly when a stranger warms up enough to chat up a girl on the train. I remember always wanting to have these as-seen-in-the movies kind of romantic experiences when I was single but they never materialized. That being said, this wouldn’t have done the trick regardless of whether or not I was in a relationship.

But something completely adorable happened on my way back from the bathroom at a recent Phish show which momentarily restored my faith in the opposite sex and their ability to pick up chicks.

“Quick twirl?”

“Excuse me?”

“Quick twirl,” the cute Phishhead repeated with a wink.

Blank stare. I had no idea what he was talking about and I couldn’t hear worth a damn. At what point does one begin to lose hearing? I’m beginning to worry…

Before I knew it, he had grabbed my hand and spun me in a circle, just once before he disappeared into the crowd of dancers.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you sweep a woman off of her feet.

Would either of these techniques work on you?

22 Comments… add one
Jester Queen January 3, 2013, 11:18 AM

Maybe traindude was trying to redeem himself with the Japanese suggestion after bombing on the dancer thing.

Katy B. January 3, 2013, 11:29 AM

I love that last bit and think it would’ve been just as enjoyable as you did. It’s the little things. 🙂

carma January 3, 2013, 11:37 AM

they probably both would have worked on me LOL

Girl with a New Life January 3, 2013, 11:43 AM

Yep. I’m a fan of the twirl.

Krysten January 3, 2013, 11:45 AM

I probably would have responded negatively and thought he was after something. I say that after my post about being distrustful, lol. Wow.

Shana January 3, 2013, 1:07 PM

I think the funniest part of that conversation on the train is that the answer to “what do you do?” was “I’m actually Japanese.” I didn’t realize that being Japanese was a career.

But the twirl thing…awesome.

Mrs Match January 3, 2013, 3:17 PM

Ha,I’ve had awkward conversations on the subway going to sf before. My favorite was a guy asking if he could shoot me. When I starred at him horrified he said he was a photographer. Lol! I love the twirl guy. That’s adorbs!

Andrea January 3, 2013, 4:41 PM

This is very clever writing. I would have been the lady on the train eavesdropping on the conversation and snickering to myself. Very nice post! Visiting from SITS today.

trininista January 3, 2013, 6:53 PM

He would not have gotten so far along in the conversation had it been me he called a dancer. WTF. LOL. Twirly guy would have been spared an eye roll for sure.

Blond Duck January 3, 2013, 8:19 PM

See, I’m a moron so I would have assumed he met a ballet dancer! 🙂 And I definitely be swept off my feet by the twirl!

Nicole January 3, 2013, 8:31 PM

I’d like to say that the twirl would’ve worked on me… but then I realize how defensive/combative I get when strangers touch me. LOL

Otherwise, very adorable. And I do think Pavlo was trying too hard, but hey, at least he made SOME effort. Props to Pavlo the Japanese gun-runner. :-p

carissajaded January 3, 2013, 9:14 PM

Well it could’ve been a lot worse! I’ve had a few conversations with strangers that were absolutely creepy. Although, yeah- I could have definitely done without the dancer comment.

Single Mom in the South January 4, 2013, 6:30 AM

The dance would have made me smile, but long term… probably not… you have to sneak in and not be obvious or I shut you down… which is why I’ve been single for so long! 🙂

Winter January 5, 2013, 9:54 AM

I love the spontaneity of that last guy….he was just wanting to have fun and that is refreshing! Fun post and well written! Over from the SITS Girls today!

Sara-Marie January 5, 2013, 9:55 AM

I do have to give Pavlo credit for starting up the conversation – that takes a lot of guts. I’m sure he’s still thinking to himself how he blew it with that dancer comment!

Quick twirl was definitely cute – but where did he go?!

Jess January 5, 2013, 10:01 AM

Um, the twirl thing would have been the one. Found you through SITS..happy saturday!

Haley @ NaturalFitandFrugal January 5, 2013, 10:02 AM

I love the quick twirl!! That would get me I like a good laugh and originality

Chaz Kellogg January 9, 2013, 1:18 PM

Oh my god, I’ve had many an encounter with NJ Transit but this has to be my favorite story!!

Gia January 11, 2013, 3:52 AM

haha, I like twirl guy!

Alexandra January 16, 2013, 3:36 PM

“Quick twirl” Like a scene from a movie.

Sweet moments in life. xo

Pretzel Thief January 22, 2013, 6:12 PM

Hahah, awesome! And I love that he was just all, “Quick twirl?” How very to the point! (Btw, I’m hosting a giveaway over on my blog — there’s a phrase I never thought I’d utter, hahah — so please enter if you get a chance because I’d love for YOU to potentially end up being a winner!)

Amber January 22, 2013, 8:50 PM

Oh, I am smiling right now. “Quick twirl” indeed! That’s beautiful.

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