Over the past few days, I have struggled to admit something that has been bothering me for months. I started developing an irrational fear that there may come a time when I would either run out of things to discuss on my blog or that I would deter my readers with my directionless drivel. I felt I was being pulled along many different paths, but the finish line always held the same outcome: I have no fucking clue where I’m going.
I participated in a live chat with members from Studio30plus.com last night and was innocently enough asked to describe my blog in a 30-second elevator pitch. I completely froze.
I used to have a clear vision and purpose here. My Pixie Blog started as a culmination of my musings on life as a 30-something-year-old who was trying to find herself again after the dissolution of a long-term relationship. Readers sat shotgun while I drove through life, detailing the mistakes, trysts, and sordid events along the way… they were there when my lust for life coursed through my veins on a dance floor in Vegas and while I traversed this country following Phish.
I wore the title of “single blogger” proudly for years. I attended networking events aimed at singles and made contacts with representatives interested in luring my young, mostly female demographic.
When I least expected it, I met someone who has changed my life in many beautiful and profound ways. While the transition to being “in a relationship” wasn’t an easy one to make, I took baby steps and Bryan waited patiently until I was ready to fully embrace the idea of being in love once more. As the circumstances around me ebbed and flowed, so did my writing. While I still enjoy nights out with the girls whenever possible, I respect that there are lines I can’t cross in my writing and on my blog. I am no longer a “single blogger.” But I don’t want to be an “in a relationship” blogger either. Because there is much more to life–and me–than that one detail alone. I imagine this is the same internal struggle that many mommy bloggers experience in such a broad category.
Rather than punish myself for this revelation, I want to embrace the idea that my blog is a never-ending journey and I am a proud woman in transition. The focus of My Pixie Blog is to share in all the ups and downs with good friends, fine wine, and a discussion about the meaning of it all: love, LIFE, and lessons learned. That will be my new elevator pitch.
All who wander are not lost. I am living proof.