As part of my mission to pick up resolutions that resonate with me in 2012, I added another just a few hours ago on my morning commute: to be present in each moment. It came to me when I noticed a woman texting while crossing a busy intersection with her baby in a stroller. I think it’s entirely unfair for me to judge the actions of this woman when I myself am often fiddling with a phone, new Kindle, or iPod, but it does say something about the culture we live in… we’re just so damn preoccupied with STUFF all the time.
I want to hit the pause button a bit more often this year. To just feel and be.
I’m trying to change my ways and have for the past few weeks reconnected outside of the beeping world of electronics. I want real face time because a girl needs her friends for dinner, to talk about life’s stresses, and to get a mani with every now and then. I have had the good fortune of doing all of these things in the past few weeks, not because life is lookin’ bad, but because I don’t want this season to pass me by. To know me is to understand that this is my season of hibernation, but I love my friends (and boyfriend) far too much to spend all that time under the covers (well, some time under the covers with Bryan is never a bad thing…).
Last week I had Ethiopian in Hell’s Kitchen with an old coworker I hadn’t seen in ages. It was fun to shoot the shit with her and catch up on the past nine years since we’d last seen each other (also, where in the hell does the time go?). She is a divorced mother of three and is taking tentative steps to get back out into the dating world. As we rolled our bread and dug into the delicious and colorful vegetarian food in front of us, she asked a question that transcends all ages, cultures, and backgrounds. “What in the hell is going ON out there??” She described online dating as a battle zone of sorts and told me about some of the weirdos she had encountered lately. We swapped horror stories and laughed over the absurdity of it all. She let me know that contrary to popular belief, older men still don’t always have it figured out.
I also went to Rosa Mexicano in Union Square with two of my besties as it had been some time since the three of us were able to plan a date night. For the first time in the history of our friendship, we all have significant others at the same time (one of them will soon get married), and it was fun to find out about their beaus and giggle into our sangria like old times. Also shout-out to the lovely Jill of Glamamom who apparently drove by me that evening as I was stepping into the restaurant!
Last night, I treated myself to a mani with a dear friend of mine who is also diving back into the online dating world after a bit of a break. I’m happy for her. I think she has a much healthier outlook since she participated in this dating detox. And now that I have a boyfriend, I can live vicariously through her stories.
How are you all coming along with your New Year’s resolutions? I’ll be honest: I’ve cheated a bit with the no smoking thing. I’ve had a few since, but I don’t feel the urge to smoke as I once did and I think I’m making strides in a very positive direction. I’m also learning the importance of shedding this thin skin and developing a thicker backbone. That’s still a work in progress, but we’re getting there.
You may also remember that my family lost it’s beloved beagle Linus in October. While there can never be another quite like him, I’m happy to meet a new shelter dog my parents are adopting this weekend. He’s a schnauzer/affenpinscher mix and quite possibly the most unattractive dog I’ve ever seen but I think he’ll make a beautiful addition to my crazy family. I’m happy they’re finally ready to welcome another dog into their home and lives again and I’m glad I’ll have a scruffy little guy to play with whenever I visit.
Sounds like you’re having some good times there
I definitely agree it’s important to focus on ‘now’ and not spend all one’s time thinking ahead (or back), so the pause button sounds like a good plan!
I think that is a good addition to the resolutions. Even though I resolved not to resolve. I am working on being more present. I have been guilty of being on my iPhone rather than truly being engaged with my children. I don’t want to “wake up” in a few years and realize that while I was in the room, I “missed” my children growing up.
Great post!
Traci
I think the first thing that really jumped out at me was the electronic age and how people always have their phones or ipods in their hands at the expense of making eye contact with the people right in front of them. My husband and I were just talking about this the other day and I’m working on a post for our Snarky Couple blog concerning this. (I’ll post a link for you when I have it done.)
I’m so glad you’ve been taking the time to really connect with your friends! You inspire me. I love you Ms. Charlotte!
I haven’t had Ethiopian food in eons.
Face to face time with girlfriends is essential to survival. When I haven’t seen my friends in awhile, I get all fidgety and weird and it’s just not pretty. I need them. In real life.
Online communication is great, but there’s nothing like putting the social media away for quality time in person. Rejuvenating!
Yay! I’m excited that your parents adopted a dog.. may he bring much love and joy to your family! Keep up with your resolution, sounds like your doing great and I feel that it’s totally ok to allow yourself to have a slip up once in a while!
Beautiful resolution. So glad you’re taking some time to enjoy the moments. I need to take a page from your book. Maybe it’s something about love that inspires us to slow down and enjoy every moment?
In the beginning of my own new love story and I have this overwhelming desire to hold on to each moment tightly and feel it entirely. Hmm… you may have inspired a new blog post my dear!
Happy Sunday! xo
Sounds like a good time!!! I know that cutting my online time has really helped me puck up some hobbies and catch up. It has also helped me really appreciate my online friends more because I see them less.
Puppies and girlfriends make everything better.
My New Year’s affirmation is to follow my joy. (Not unlike yours.) So far so good. I have been making social time a more important part of my weekly priority, as well as the time I need for me. And I find myself putting aside the less important stuff, like making the perfect dinner or being the perfect housekeeper, in exchange for the simpler things that make me happy.
PS I am so happy you are surrounded by such a supportive community of friends.
I have really been trying to cut down my online time too. It is rough but I want to focus more on my family. Although every time I turn around I am involved in a new project. I think I need to drop one of them though. I am happy that you are quitting smoking but I know how hard it is. I quit at least 4 times. It isn’t easy, but at least you are trying. That is the biggest step!
Oh but I do hear you.
Time is my enemy. I try to do everything and it all ends up half done.
What do we do, Char????