“I would look at a dog and when our eyes met, I realized that the dog and all creatures are my family. They’re like you and me.”~Ziggy Marley
I had intended to write another post about my adventures in Paris–which is still forthcoming–but today I wanted to write a tribute to a very dear friend of mine who passed away much too young. The best friend a gal could ask for: my beloved beagle Linus.
Linus entered my life in October 2001, just months after I had graduated college when I was living with my parents since I was broke and unemployed. It was a time when I desperately wanted something to care for and to love unconditionally. What I didn’t know then–as I had never had a pet growing up–were the many lessons Linus would teach me along the way; lessons I will carry with me always and lessons I will never be able to thank him for personally.
My heart has been filled with so much sadness since I received the phone call Friday morning from a tearful mother who also wasn’t ready to part with her furry companion. When I moved out of my parent’s house in the fall of 2002, we had several debates about Linus’s future. Selfishly, I wanted to take him with me, knowing that I would never be able to afford him the luxury of mid-afternoon walks or backyards for bird chasing. In the end, I let my parents gain custody and I was granted visitation rights which I took full advantage of since my new coordinates weren’t too far from their house.
Linus and I would visit friends together (though car rides were never his favorite), go to the park to chat with local dog owners (with a punim like that, he was hard to resist), and we would spend lazy Sundays in the backyard soaking up the warm rays and watching the squirrels dance. He was not much of a lap dog but would happily sit on your head if you happened to be laying on the couch in the family room. I would confide in him when no one was looking and I am convinced he understood me completely. One night after a fight with a boyfriend, I sat on the sofa and cried ugly tears. Out of nowhere, Linus approached me, gently laid a paw on my arm, and looked me in the eyes. I scooped him up into my arms and he comforted me. He was so good at knowing just the right things to do without having to cut the air with empty words.
I loved the way he would eagerly anticipate my arrival and run laps in the living room while I put my bags down. He would chase circles around my feet, wag his tail, and bring me a bone or the closest chewed-up toy. A few weeks ago when I was visiting my family for the weekend, Linus and I danced a waltz in the kitchen while my mother prepared dinner. I’m not so sure that he cared for it too much, but he indulged me anyway. He was always good like that.
Though he wasn’t the smartest, most obedient dog in the world, everyone took to him. In his younger years, he would chew through seed packets, furniture, and my grandmother’s state-of-the-art, cutting-edge hearing aid. But she couldn’t resist his charm either and told my grandpa she had lost it.
Just before I left for Paris, his Lyme disease flared up again (he had been diagnosed with it years ago). This time, the meds didn’t help and he suffered terribly in his final days. I am eternally grateful to him that he waited for me to see him one last time before taking his last breath.
Over the weekend, my brother and I paid a visit to my parents so we could all say our final goodbyes. On a beautiful Saturday morning, we dug him a grave, filled it with his favorite toys, and laid him to rest on the Ikea owl pillow he loved. We took turns filling it in with brown earth and leaves. Not a dry eye in the backyard that day.
Goodbye, my sweet Liney. Thank you for ten beautiful and very special years. You will be missed.
(My heartfelt thanks to Joseph Costa of La Moda Studio for photos 4-6.)
Roxanne says
I’m sorry for your loss. I’m so glad you got to see him again. He looks like he was a real sweetheart. Hugs.
Glamamom says
Oh Charlotte, I’m sorry 🙁 Linus was such a handsome doggie and what wonderful memories and photos you have. Dogs are the best companions. You guys should get a Linus II! xoxo
Leanne @ Healthful Pursuit says
Before we had dogs I would have read this and felt it was a sad story, paid my respects and not really grasp the actual loss you’re going through. We have 2 dogs at home. They’re like our children. Each have an amazing personality and if one of them would leave us, I don’t know what I would do. I’m so sorry for your loss Charlotte. Joseph was such an amazingly cute dog! His eyes are filled with adoration in each of his photos. All the best through this difficult time 🙂
Jean Has Been Shopping says
Oh, Linus, what a sweet boy.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
We have a beautiful beagle too… and a new pomeranian puppy. I hope your heart opens for a new furry family member when the time is right.
Krysten says
Charlotte I am absolutely crying right now after reading this. I come from a family of animal lovers – dogs especially – and I know how hard it is to say goodbye to someone that isn’t just a pet but a member of the family as well.
I am so sorry for your loss. But I like to think that there is an absolutely amazing place in heaven set aside for our four legged friends.
Sending lots of hugs and good thoughts your way.
(FL) Girl with a New Life says
This made my eyes water. My original fur babies passed away about four years ago and I weep every time I think about it. Both waited for me to come home before they passed on. Maybe love is always epic no matter the source or duration.
liz says
Oh dear, sweet Charlotte. I confess to not reading this as I am certain I’d be in tears by line 2. Dogs have always been a part of my life and I absolutely feel they are a member of the family. It will devastate me when the day comes that Jack passes. It tears me up to even think about.
I know your heart is heavy, but I hope you heal with lots of good memories of sweet Liney.
(I’m crying now and I scanned just the pictures and his name.)
Emily says
This made me cry at my desk. Sorry honey 🙁
keishua says
I can imagine that your heart is hurting something awful, Linus looks like a faithful companion and fun companion. Sending you light and love.
Rachel Cotterill says
I’m so sorry to hear this *hugs* He’s adorable.
Nicole says
Oh Bunny. My heart goes out to you. I have to tell you that I laugh every single time I think about the story of him barfing in your car on the way to the park. LOL… Think about all the joyous times, as you clearly did here in this post. Linus will always be a puppy in your memories and your heart. Much love to you. xoxo.
dovev says
sorry for your lost. it is good to know he had a good life 🙂
Jayme (RandomBlogette) says
I am so sorry sweetie! I have lost a few pets and it is never easy to deal with. It is like losing a family member. I can’t even imagine how much your heart hurts right now. Just remember all of the fun times that you had with him and picture him romping around in doggy land with all of the other pest that have passed. HUGS!
Amber says
So sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is always hard. I’m glad you got to say your good byes too.
Brandy Harris says
I had to blame my teary eyes and red nose on sinuses after I read your post today. My family has had three amazing furry family members pass in my lifetime, and it never gets easier. We just lost Lexi (a maltese) this past May and my mom is still having a hard time with it.
I love thinking about how happy they are now, though… free from any pain… frolicking with all of our pets who have passed.
…and I agree with your “tag”… dogs do NOT live long enough… but they leave a long-lasting impression on our hearts.
Thinking about you, girl!
Big hugs!!!
XOXOXOXOXO
Karen Peterson says
I am so sorry for your loss. It really is hard to lose our pets. They are so much part of the family.
Mark says
That is very sad. I no longer consider myself a “dog person”, but, I can understand how painful it is to lose such a Friend.
Take care. m.
Blond Duck says
I’m so, so sorry. I wish I could make you a pie.
Star Traci says
I’m so sorry for your loss. I am an animal lover and have lost dear members of the family. Big hugs to you!
Bonda84 says
And I’m sure there hasn’t been a dry eye that has read this post. I’ve been thinking about Linus ever since you mentioned this to me last week. Sometimes I think it’s even harder to say goodbye to our pets than it is people…or maybe that’s just me, I’m weird like that. It sounds like Linus had very happy, loving years with you and your family. Now you all have a wonderful little guardian watching over you all and as said before, I know he has lots of friends that greeted him over the rainbow bridge. *Big Hugs*
Pretzel Thief says
Oh hon…I’m so sorry.
Please accept my condolences for your sweet Linus…what a beautiful beagle he was!
I can only imagine how much comfort and joy he brought you in the past decade and those are memories that can never be taken from you. Take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve this out.
x o x o
SaucyB says
I’m so sorry you had to say goodbye to Linus. Your post made me cry. Just like you, i’m convinced our pets, and especially dogs, seem to know what we need. They are such inherently good little souls.
I am incredibly attached to Rex. I only had goldfish growing up so he’s my first ‘real’ pet. I can’t even imagine him not being a part of our family.
Blond Duck says
Just wanted you to know I love you!
Gia says
**hugs**
I’ve never had a close relationship with a pet other than my many deceased goldfish so I can’t really identify but I imagine it’s very difficult, especially when he was such a huge part of your life.
hope you and you’re family are doing okay. :/ lots of love.
Grumpy Grateful Mom says
Your tribute to Linus was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. What a sweet little dog he was. So sorry you lost your friend.
Kizz says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing his story.
October 3 was the 2nd anniversary of the death of my beloved German Shepherd, Emily. It’s a whole different world without her.
Mary says
I’m so sorry for your loss. 🙁
Jennifer says
You have written so beautifully about your life with Linus. Like many of your readers I too have endured the loss of my dog, three years ago, and I still find myself talking to her in spirit. After 16 years of life, I had a lot of memories shared with her. Unconditional love is not something humans do well, but dogs do. They bring out the best in us that way. What you experienced is what makes life great.
Given there a many pets out there who are waiting for homes such as the one your family gave Linus, that was one lucky dog. They are never too far away from us even in death, it sounds strange but my dog often comes into my dreams. Who knew? That gives me comfort to experience her warmth, joy and even her smell of all things. I wish you healing. Remain thankful for that bond, their time with us is short but their gift of love lives on.
Alexandra says
OH.
He is so wonderful.
I remember losing Coco, our chocolate lab, when she was 8, to cancer.
I cried for a month solid.
I couldn’t stand it.
Especially in the winter..she loved the snow.
Pets are so much more than words can ever say.
I am so sorry for your HUGE loss.
Please take comfort in knowing that Liney knew he was loved. WIthout a doubt, you gave him the best dog’s life out there.
tita buds says
I remember reading an article where the author was trying to explain to her friends that the grief she was feeling over the death of her dog is as real as grief can get. It seems some people don’t ‘get’ it and would say, Oh he was just a dog and you can get another one.
Those of us who love our pets know that they’re not possessions we can easily replace. Dogs are so loyal and sweet and demand so little of us except walks and a game of tug. I don’t even want to imagine what it will be like when my own furry ‘boys’ leave. I understand your grief.
Vlad says
I am terribly sorry for your loss.
I seldom comment on posts but this one was very touching and i felt i could relate.
I too have lost my dog, a couple of months back, and i know how terrible it is to lose a close friend, one who’s always there for you and never judges you.
Her name was Sara, she was a german shorthaired pointer and she was extremely intelligent and stubborn at the same time. She fell ill shortly before her 12th birthday and was diagnosed sometime around her birthday. I take a little pride and joy in the fact that i never lost hope, didn’t abandon her and cared for her, i really thought she can beat it ( being so stubborn and all 🙂 ) and for a while the treatment showed some signs of improvement. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case…
I hope the sadness will lose some of its intensity and frequency ( yours, mine and everyone who’s lost a dear friend recently ) and we’ll be able to keep them in our memories.
Once again, i’m sorry for Linus and i’m sorry for your loss.
Sincerly,
Vlad
rachel says
as promised.. hope it’s getting a little easier. xoxo
http://i-nearly-froze.livejournal.com/2005/08/01/
rachel says
oof, just re-read my post –please ignore the many, many typos.
Cheryl says
First of all I would like to say fantastic blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you don’t mind. I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing. I have had a hard time clearing my mind in getting my ideas out there. I truly do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually wasted just trying to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or hints? Kudos!
carma says
🙁 I’ve always loved beagles. Never had a dog but I know the temperament of a beagle would be just what I need. So sad abut your loss…
nerree says
Chère Charlotte !!!!
suis désolée pour la disparition de ton cher , tres cher LINUS , ta mère est chez moi et m’a lu l’article , si je puis dire , que tu écrit et qui est très touchant ! courage !!!
je n’arrive pas à t’écrire avec ton adresse mail !!!”failure ”
bises
Marguerite
Moving Across Country says
Here’s to 10 good years with Linus. Until you meet again, may your heart be filled with all of the wonderful memories you shared.