my top five sexiest rock stars

– Posted in: dancin’ fool

Okay so I’m kind of really excited to write about this. When my dear friend Nicole of Constructive Compulsion included her top five last week, it inspired me to do come up with my own (especially since it is looking BLEAK in the dating world at the moment. But I might have a date with an Irish bloke who sports fake facial tattoos, a top hat, and a moustache. Seriously, that’s what I got these days. But he did write a very swoon-worthy email to me this week…)

Anyway, I have been hitting up concerts and shows for as long as I can remember and have maybe fantasized about being with a few band members since my embarrassing flannel high school days. My picks for this week’s sexy rock stars are more than likely going to leave you scratching your heads but this is my fantasy so go with it. Or don’t. Just don’t try to outdance me when I wedge my way to the front to see one of these musicians.

Also, these are in no particular order.

1) Adam Levine of Maroon 5. I don’t even like his music that much (though some of it is catchy, I suppose). And maybe he is 4 feet tall. Whatever. Have you SEEN this naked picture of him? Wowza. NOPE–I will not be kicking Adam out of my bed anytime soon. I imagine he’ll invite me over to his fabulous bachelor pad where he’ll tell me the story behind each of his tattoos and he’ll ask me to sing for him so I’ll have to do a tequila shot for some liquid courage. If he doesn’t recoil and point me in the direction of the door, then I’ll gladly take one for the team and find out what lies beneath those hands…

2) Trey Anastasio of Phish. Don’t judge. Also, my fantasy involves an UNmarried Trey (all of these rock stars would be unmarried, obvs). If we’re speaking purely in hypotheticals and I were to have a chance, I might try to sleep with him if only to land some sweet tickets for upcoming shows. Hey, you know how much this Phish following addiction costs per year? I dunno either, but it’s a lot. Besides, I think he looks kind of cute here:

3) Ben Harper/Jack Johnson. I’m grouping them together because it’s easy to get them confused (same age group, earthy guitarists with soulful lyrics, both surfers, and they are friends in real life). Also, I just think this would be the sexiest threesome EVER. RIGHT?!?

4) Michael Franti. Holy hot damn, ya’ll. This man has a larger than life stage presence. He comes out barefoot and dreaded and bares his soul for all to see. His thought-provoking lyrics and insanely catchy tunes move me, and his concerts are a nonstop party. When I picture an evening with Michael, I foresee mind-blowing sex followed by a beautiful yoga session. Om.

5) Ray LaMontagne. I have seen this cigarette-and-bourbon fueled musician perform a few times and there’s just something in the way he croons and carries his guitar that really turns me on. His voice makes babies fly out of vaginas. I’m not even kidding. Go to a show. It’s bananas. I also realized while writing this post that I kind of like my musicians bearded and brooding.

My alternates: Enrique Iglesias (ever since he removed the raisin on his face, though raisin-faced Enrique was also a looker), Chris Isaak, and Rivers Cuomo of Weezer.

It’s clear Nicole and I will never fight over men (you can read her top five here).

So, who’s in yours?

18 Comments… add one
Nicole September 15, 2011, 8:23 AM

I gotta give ya props for most of these… I’d definitely take a run at a few of them. LOL!! Great pics, and great fun, my friend!

Hutch September 15, 2011, 12:18 PM

I was with you completely until Enrique. I mean I get it. Totally. Just didn’t think YOU would go there 🙂

Mark September 15, 2011, 3:04 PM

Yeah, that Adam Levine is pretty cute. But I do like a guy with a bead and mustache looking like he came out of the 70s. I need to go check out this Ray guy.

Shana September 15, 2011, 3:54 PM

Ok…we would never fight over guys either. Because I’m with you on Adam Levine. And Enrique…I sat next to him in a restaurant once and he’s even hotter in person. But the rest…I’m not feeling it.

I might have to do this list on my blog too.

Brandi {not your average ordinary} September 15, 2011, 4:38 PM

These wouldn’t necessarily be my top five though I completely get why you chose them. Honestly, when I see Adam Levine, I always wish I could take him home with me and cook him a nice big dinner. It kinda looks like he could use one of those.

carma September 15, 2011, 5:27 PM

gotta agree on Adam. He performed literally down the block a few year back and I didn’t goooooooooo (because VC didn’t want to go) boo on me 🙁

Life with Kaishon September 15, 2011, 9:57 PM

HOLY WOW! This is some serious eye candy. What a fantastic post. Adam Levine is something else. And that picture….so freaking cool! What a fun post. LOVED this.

Laurie September 16, 2011, 10:31 AM

We would totally fight over men! I love every single one you listed.

Karen Peterson September 16, 2011, 1:05 PM

I’d have to say…I pretty much agree with this entire list.

Lola September 17, 2011, 3:00 PM

I’m here visiting for the first time and I have to tell you that I love it here! I especially love this post because I always enjoy hearing about who other people are hot for and who they would sleep with, no questions asked, if given the opportunity.

I totally agree with Adam Levine. You know what’s really, really funny about that pic? He’s a Jewish boy (I can say that, being a Jewish girl) Given my knowledge of Jewish boys I can tell you for a FACT that the hand lady did not need both hands to cover Adam’s shlong. As a matter of fact? Her thumb probably would have done the trick. It’s not mean. It’s just Jewish DNA. But in all fairness, I bet his brain is HUGE!!

Tina @ Life Without Pink September 17, 2011, 3:15 PM

I’m w/ you on Adam Levine…what a photo!!! 🙂

kimbirdy September 17, 2011, 4:43 PM

haha, this is such a fun post! i have always far preferred musicians to actors, but for me it’s all about the music. if a man can make sweet passionate music, i imagine he can do other things sweetly and passionately. 🙂

(FL) Girl with a New Life September 19, 2011, 12:11 PM

This was fun! My list? Gosh…I’d really have to work on that one.

Gia September 19, 2011, 2:20 PM


This post was definitely served as some excellent monday afternoon eye candy! 🙂 sorry I was out of town and missed some posts last week! catching up on everything now though! lots of love and light! muah.

One Bad Pixie September 19, 2011, 7:40 PM

Not going to even argue on any of these. You can have them. My list? I will have to think about that one… Good idea for a post though.

Pretzel Thief (aka Balkan Girl Down Under) September 22, 2011, 8:18 AM

Heheheh, loves it!

And even though Adam Levine’s nasally falsetto annoys the bejesus out of me, I kinda-sorta have to begrudgingly admit he’s pretty hot.


Tee hee!

Kisha October 21, 2011, 8:46 AM

Weew! Adam Levine’s rock.

Nancy April 27, 2014, 5:36 PM

“His voice makes babies fly out of vaginas.” That is the best thing I’ve read all week. (He *does* have an awesome voice.)

I don’t know my entire top 5, but one person who’d make my list (if drummers count) is U2 drummer Larry Mullen Jr. I’ve liked him for decades now.

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