Okay so I’m kind of really excited to write about this. When my dear friend Nicole of Constructive Compulsion included her top five last week, it inspired me to do come up with my own (especially since it is looking BLEAK in the dating world at the moment. But I might have a date with an Irish bloke who sports fake facial tattoos, a top hat, and a moustache. Seriously, that’s what I got these days. But he did write a very swoon-worthy email to me this week…)
Anyway, I have been hitting up concerts and shows for as long as I can remember and have maybe fantasized about being with a few band members since my embarrassing flannel high school days. My picks for this week’s sexy rock stars are more than likely going to leave you scratching your heads but this is my fantasy so go with it. Or don’t. Just don’t try to outdance me when I wedge my way to the front to see one of these musicians.
Also, these are in no particular order.
1) Adam Levine of Maroon 5. I don’t even like his music that much (though some of it is catchy, I suppose). And maybe he is 4 feet tall. Whatever. Have you SEEN this naked picture of him? Wowza. NOPE–I will not be kicking Adam out of my bed anytime soon. I imagine he’ll invite me over to his fabulous bachelor pad where he’ll tell me the story behind each of his tattoos and he’ll ask me to sing for him so I’ll have to do a tequila shot for some liquid courage. If he doesn’t recoil and point me in the direction of the door, then I’ll gladly take one for the team and find out what lies beneath those hands…
2) Trey Anastasio of Phish. Don’t judge. Also, my fantasy involves an UNmarried Trey (all of these rock stars would be unmarried, obvs). If we’re speaking purely in hypotheticals and I were to have a chance, I might try to sleep with him if only to land some sweet tickets for upcoming shows. Hey, you know how much this Phish following addiction costs per year? I dunno either, but it’s a lot. Besides, I think he looks kind of cute here:
3) Ben Harper/Jack Johnson. I’m grouping them together because it’s easy to get them confused (same age group, earthy guitarists with soulful lyrics, both surfers, and they are friends in real life). Also, I just think this would be the sexiest threesome EVER. RIGHT?!?
4) Michael Franti. Holy hot damn, ya’ll. This man has a larger than life stage presence. He comes out barefoot and dreaded and bares his soul for all to see. His thought-provoking lyrics and insanely catchy tunes move me, and his concerts are a nonstop party. When I picture an evening with Michael, I foresee mind-blowing sex followed by a beautiful yoga session. Om.
5) Ray LaMontagne. I have seen this cigarette-and-bourbon fueled musician perform a few times and there’s just something in the way he croons and carries his guitar that really turns me on. His voice makes babies fly out of vaginas. I’m not even kidding. Go to a show. It’s bananas. I also realized while writing this post that I kind of like my musicians bearded and brooding.
My alternates: Enrique Iglesias (ever since he removed the raisin on his face, though raisin-faced Enrique was also a looker), Chris Isaak, and Rivers Cuomo of Weezer.
It’s clear Nicole and I will never fight over men (you can read her top five here).
So, who’s in yours?