active within 24 hours

– Posted in: dating, featured blogger

That was what Match.com told me when I sat down with a coworker yesterday and pulled up the profile of the adorable mandolin-playing skeeballer I went out with two weeks ago. I wish I had more news to share with you all, but I am still awaiting our second date. He’s away snowboarding this week and I’m told that it’s never a good idea to put all my eggs in one basket so I’ve been reluctantly winking at some online folks and smiling at cute strangers to help pass the time. But what I’m really hoping for is confirmation that I’m not the only one who felt a spark on our first date.

In many ways, I’m the same girl who secretly loved it when boys snapped my bra in middle school because it meant they were interested. When it comes to dating, I’m constantly amazed that I revert back to a time when I was the most insecure.

Why does this happen?

I’d still like to go out with Ethan again, but I am disappointed it’s taken him so long to get in touch. If he were really interested, he would have contacted me in some way, right?

I wish this one would snap my bra. :(

“Active within 24 hours” means he has internet access. It also means he’s trolling around for other women online. It’s already Thursday and if he was hoping to see me this weekend, he’s out of luck now. I’m sad to say that not only am I beginning to lose interest, but it appears he has, too.

In other news, I text messaged Jim to check in and he said I was inspiration for a tune he’s writing. I thought this was very sweet, but I had to make sure it wasn’t called “Charlotte is a Whoreface.” He reassured me that it isn’t, so awwww!

I was also interviewed for Single Edition Media this week. Please stop by and read my solo spotlight here!

19 Comments… add one

Hutch January 27, 2011, 6:49 PM

One thing I learned on match is that all it takes is opening an email, in your email account not on match, to show you as active. So while it’s not completely reassuring, maybe he got an email message on his phone and opened it. I open all my messages as they come in just so that my email account doesn’t show a #. Regardless, keeping the options open is always a good thing!

Connie @ Sogni e Sorrisi January 27, 2011, 11:19 PM

I think keeping your options open is a good idea at this stage of the game.

Charlotte January 28, 2011, 12:00 AM

Yes-absolutely. Didn’t mean to imply otherwise. I think I’m just a bit bummed because it was nice to meet someone I felt a connection with.

Ken January 28, 2011, 6:29 AM

Excellent blog. Also, hi.

Dream in Grey January 28, 2011, 7:55 AM

But what was his song actually called…Charlotte is a great date?

keishua January 28, 2011, 8:48 AM

Oh, what is about boys that take us to the playground.Also, it is a bummer to feel a connection and then not feel that it is being reciprocated. I have walked that line more times than I care to admit. It is really interesting that I was complaining to my friends about this very same issue. Men puzzles!
Anyway, happy flirting.
peace,
k

Brian January 28, 2011, 9:06 AM

I really hate it when folks do that. It’s happened to me countless times, I exchange a few emails with a girl, maybe leads to a date or possibly two, then all of a sudden, they just utterly start to pretend as if I never existed. I hope that isn’t the case with you; but I find scenarios like that to be one of the “uglier” aspects of dating on a site like Match. On top of all that; it’s just rude.

Bonda84 January 28, 2011, 9:57 AM

That’s so frustrating when they just seem to drop off into oblivion or slowly fade out, the Fireman did that to me and I just don’t get it. Sometimes I also wonder if it’s just the online dating thing. Granted you find people you normally wouldn’t run into, but I think that not running in the same circle makes it easier for you to dismiss each other when you get caught up with your everyday life. But I hope the guy wakes up and snaps your bra too!

Krysten January 28, 2011, 11:03 AM

That is why I HATED online dating – I almost wish they didn’t have the option to see when someone was last online because it always leads to you wondering why the hell they haven’t contacted you.

Don’t read too much into it. I think we make men out to be smarter than they actually are.

Rachel Cotterill January 28, 2011, 2:17 PM

I hate that. Even in a purely platonic setting, I hate it when I’m waiting for a message and I just *know* the person has been online… drives me nuts! :)

Galit Breen January 29, 2011, 7:45 AM

Oh sweet lady! It’s so, so easy to revert back to “good ‘ol days” isn’t it?! Hang in there, enjoy the weekend and I have no doubt that someone wonderful will snap your bra soon! :)

Glamamom January 29, 2011, 9:27 AM

Not that I should be giving advice but when dating, I never thought it was a good idea to put all my eggs in one basket. I liked to keep a rotation of a few guys and if something got serious, great. But 1 date is no reason to get your hopes up. although of course I understand. Sounds like Ethan is following my rule ;)

Life with Kaishon January 30, 2011, 1:56 AM

Oh man! I don’t envy you in the slightest! My friend Julie is going through this right now and it is so stressful! I hope you find a perfect match soon : )

Heather January 31, 2011, 11:56 AM

Ugh. Men can be such pains in the butt! Hang in there ;)

Holly W January 31, 2011, 1:37 PM

Not that I know anything about dating…because I don’t…but I would think if you went out with others he’d be more interested in snagging you back…like you’re so desirable there are others wanting you even if he’s taking his sweet time calling you…
because really? it’s still like middle school no matter how old we get

Adrian February 1, 2011, 12:54 PM

Interesting to see the ins and outs of on-line dating. I’ve been married for 26 years (I typed 256 years – yikes!) and the thought of ever dating horrifies me. However, I’ve got a son I might sign up for Match.com if he doesn’t get on the stick soon. He’s 22 and cute as a bug and a nice kid to boot, but he hasn’t had a date in almost a year. Guess the dating world is tough all over.

blueviolet @ A Nut in a Nutshell February 1, 2011, 2:45 PM

That really stinks that he’s been on the site but hasn’t contacted you. Wouldn’t you almost rather not have that activity level show on the site?

FeistyWoman February 2, 2011, 11:05 PM

I really liked your interview with Single Edition! Very poignant! Congrats on that Pix!

As Adrian said above, I think I’d find online dating to be horrifying myself. I’ve heard so many stories about it in just the way you describe. It’s can’t be cool to find out someone you’re crushing on is still surfing around. Yet, he’s not the only one out there. Move on if you don’t see it working.

Like you said, make sure you spread out those eggs and keep your options open. You know what you’re doing! :)

<3,
FW
FeistyWoman´s last blog post ..Being You and Being Real

Kimberly February 3, 2011, 10:39 AM

Oh, girl…I know. I know. (shaking my head sympathetically).

I just had to take a break from online dating recently. It was messing with my head.

You might be interested in a blog post I wrote a while back. It’s called “Grass is Always Greener in the Next Profile” Here’s a link: http://www.rubberchickenmadness.com/2010/11/grass-is-always-greener-in-the-next-profile.html

Hang in there :)
Kimberly´s last blog post ..Trixie and Grace

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