Today’s post is written for the Lady Bloggers Society, an overwhelmingly supportive group of bloggers I am immensely excited to be a part of. The submission is on women of achievement and while I do not in the slightest way possible feel I am worthy of inclusion in such a category, here is a post about what I am proud to have achieved in the last year. Hope this finds you all well in body and in mind.
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In all my years on this planet, I have never experienced such a major life transformation as I have in the past twelve months. I hardly recognize the self-confident person I see staring back in the mirror, the one who no longer cares what others think of her because she is finally happy with herself. It’s a wonderful feeling. But this didn’t all occur overnight. In order to get to where I am today, I had to leave behind a mountain of hurt and tears and valleys of self-doubt and insecurity.
Last July, I took a step back from the life I was living and realized I wasn’t quite happy. There was something big missing and I didn’t know what it was until I found myself in one of the most beautiful and romantic places in the world—Hawaii. I managed to have a wonderful time (I mean, how can you NOT?) but it was on the island of Kauai that I realized my boyfriend of six years was no longer in love with me. Though he never told me so, the lack of an engagement ring and missed opportunities at romance were enough of an indication that I had to leave it all behind to focus on myself for awhile.
And that’s just what I did. After returning from that trip, I began to pack my life away: the little trinkets we had collected over the years from friends and family, the many books I had either read 100 times or had never picked up at all, all the clothing, the wall décor. I stuffed it all in boxes and bags, we said our goodbyes, and I moved out of the apartment we shared.
And I felt sorry for myself.
I didn’t come to for a few months, but when I did, I did it with gusto. I immersed myself in all the activities I had once found so enjoyable. I started this blog and began to connect with women around the world who had experienced similar breakups. I saw every concert that appealed to me. I contacted old friends again and they told me how much they had missed me and how much fun I was now that I was no longer attached to the old ball and chain. I took a road trip to Indiana and Wisconsin with a recently single girlfriend to follow Phish and I vowed that I would never, ever again find myself in a situation like the one I had left. Because this felt right and I felt good again.
So while I realize that this may not qualify me as a woman of achievement, I have found inner peace and happiness, two things I have worked so hard to attain. I was able to recognize that I was better than what I had been given and I took the steps necessary to remove myself from a painful situation. It’s an achievement I am immensely proud of.
Dear Pixie,
As an older woman whses son has just gone through a similar experience to yours I can only offer my heartfelt sympathy. I understand that feeling of ‘splitting up’ and when I watched my son suffering after his girlfriend left I felt the same pain as I did many years previous when my boyfriend of five years fell out of love with me. Here I am many years later contentedly married to man I met 22 years ago and I know that in time both my son and you will find someone else who you will feel is completely right for you. I am so glad you are starting to feel peace again. My son is too. I wish you much future happiness . Keep blogging. It’s great for the soul. You certainly have achieved something.
Awww, thanks Carol. Thank you so much for stopping by today. And you’re absolutely right. The blogging has helped me tremendously–were it not for this outlet, I’m not sure what I would have done. I wish your son peace as he continues to move forward. It’s true what they say: time really does heal all wounds. Wishing you all the best. XOXO
I absolutely think this qualifies as a huge achievement. It’s very difficult to admit you aren’t happy and then take steps to change that. You also had to leave a situation that had grown comfortable and start over with the unknown. It was incredibly brave and I admire you for it.
.-= Shana´s last blog ..Random Musings Friday… =-.
I think it most definitely qualifies you as a woman of achievement. I have so enjoyed reading about how you have progressed over the months and the transformation is VERY evident from when I first started following your blog. You are truly inspirational and you never know how many people you have helped by sharing your stories on here.
You’re fantastic, girl! I can’t wait to see where you go next.
.-= Salt´s last blog ..Why do I keep agreeing to things! =-.
just came by to say…
ur awesome!!!!
thanks for stopping by on my sits day, a day that i needed just a WEEEE bit of extra love
I definitely think this is an achievement you can be proud of!! Walking away from a 6 year relationship takes a lot of courage. I wish you all the best on this part of your journey. Thanks for stopping by my blog today.
*hugs*
I could relate to your post so much… I come from a family with a busy doctor dad who was never home, a depressive mom who was never there, a drug addict brother who stole my summer-work money and a very abusive aunt… I left home some years back and never went back. I’m still trying to ‘build’ my life….
It’s not easy, but I’m on it. I wish you all the best. Following you, too
.-= Reenie´s last blog ..Black & Blue =-.
I think it’s a great achievement – I had to do something similar a few years ago, so I know exactly how hard it can be
.-= Rachel Cotterill´s last blog ..September Inspiration & Social Media Link-Up =-.
I firmly believe that personal life achievements are the most important achievements around!
.-= liz´s last blog ..Dear You Guys&8230 3 =-.
Your words have touched me. Your courage and determination have left me speechless. You are an amazing and strong woman! I really enjoy reading your amazing blog and capturing your words of wisdom. Merci!
xo
It takes gusto to leave safe role and step out on your own. I went through a super long relationship, too.
So, your words are extremely helpful and encouraging. Slowly, learning to live. Thanks for being awesome.
.-= Googlover/keishua´s last blog ..Browsing Out in the Open =-.
Walking away is always the hardest thing you can do, and self-discovery is one of the best. Sometimes we have to do something hard to get a great result!
Good luck with everything! I will be following!
.-= Esme´s last blog ..Update On Yours Truly =-.
Good for you!
One thing that was always made clear to me growing up that I have only recently begun to appreciate is the importance of strong, supportive women in our lives.
(Stopping by from SITS!)
.-= Brenna´s last blog ..Animals- what are our responsibilities toward them =-.
you sure do qualify – incredibly brave to step away after 6 years. It would have been so much “easier” to stay the course but you would have ended up miserable….Great essay.
.-= carma´s last blog ..How We Spent Labor Day Weekend =-.
Pixie,
There are plenty of women out there that NEVER get to the place that you did. I think you have achieved a great deal and deserve a round of applause. You bet your butt you should be included as a woman of achievement (me too, if I could spell that word the same way twice) LOL
Like the old ad used to say, “You’ve come a long way baby !”
.-= Cinnamon´s last blog ..Tuesday Movie Quotes – part 4 =-.
I think this is a fab post. The achievements we make on a personal level are often times even more profound than those that gain honours and medals etc.
It took a lot of courage and self-belief to shed the ‘old you’ and step out into a brighter future but I can see that you made the right choice. What’s more, in writing this post you’ve given inspiration and support to others facing a similar dilemma.
Thanks so much for visiting me on my SITS day. Your comment made me smile
.-= Babes about Town´s last blog ..Welcome- SITStas about Town! =-.
Hi Pixie,
I found your blog from LBS. I know words aren’t enough to explain everything. The feeling is hard that sometimes most of the words being said done nothing to ease the pain. I can only wish everything would be alright and I am glad you did the right decision. I could say things are hard because I was also on the same tough situation like that. I’m so glad you make it.
.-= Sey´s last blog ..Its Women of Achievement Month =-.
I can relate to this post so well. It is so hard to walk away from a relationship in which you’ve invested so much. Yet how much more rewarding is the investment you put into yourself and your own personal growth when the relationship isn’t yielding what you want and need. You words touch and inspire so many, including me. I’m glad to be a witness to a leg of your thrilling transformation.