There have been a lot of breakups around me lately. Which I find odd because I thought love is supposed to thrive in the summer. This is a time to roll around in the grass, go star gazing, enjoy picnics in the park, and dance in a drum circle with a special someone. Am I the only hopeless romantic left?
Though I would never in a million years wish the kind of breakup I experienced with Jackson on anyone else (and at the risk of sounding completely selfish), I have to say that it feels good to have some single ladies back in my life again. Hanging out to kvetch about men/boyfriends/one-night stands with the girls is good for the soul. We all do it. I like to think of it as therapy since we don’t have the funds to afford shrinks of our own.
During one of my most recent bitchfests, one of my friends told me she approached her boyfriend about moving in together and he told her that if they did, they’d end up the way Jackson and I did.
So I guess I’m the standard for failed relationships.
Super.
But in all honesty, I found pieces of my relationship in hers so I wasn‘t terribly surprised by the news. I guess this experience has taught me a lot more than I realized. I noticed, too, that the other couples around me broke up for similar reasons. The relationship wasn’t going anywhere. Both people wanted different things out of life. All of a sudden, one guy decided he no longer wanted to have children (though he had been telling my friend the contrary for months).
I think that our tolerance for bullshit diminishes as we get older. It seems that at this stage in the game, it’s easier to cut to the chase than try to go round in circles in a dead-end relationship. I hope this doesn’t mean I’m an anti-aphrodisiac but I can’t help but hope that my philosophy of not settling for anything less than what we deserve in our relationships is rubbing off.
I’m stopping by from Lady Bloggers. I think you are so right about the tolerance for bullshit. When I was single I started getting a lot of crap from friends about being too picky. But what’s wrong with being picky if you know someone is wrong for you. Do NOT settle. It’s not worth it
Well said.
hey Charlotte , where did you get that fabulous wand you are holding… it looks cool. what can it do?
I’ve always said you get what you settle for. I give you credit for refusing to settle. I have a friend who is a single mom, so I kind of get a window into what it’s like for someone to start over. I hope you find everything that are looking for and deserve.
visiting you from the lady bloggers society. nice to be here.
.-= melandriaromero´s last blog ..The Spy in Me =-.
You are totally right about the tolerance for bullshit. When my friends and I were in our 20′s we’d let stuff go and we’d put up with crap and we waited for our boyfriends to come around and be ready to settle down. Now, my single friends have very strict time limits…like, if thinks aren’t heading to serious after five months, the relationship is history. If you want to have kids, you just don’t have time to wait around for years and put up with non-sense.
hi sweetie. you absolutely should not settle – definitely wait for what you want and need. there’s no reason you shouldn’t have it all.
love you, my friend!!! xoxo
I think you are dead on about our tolerance for bullshit decreasing. I’ve seen that in myself a lot the last few years.
.-= liz´s last blog ..Word Up- YO!- Edition 7 =-.
I think you finally just come to a place where you don’t have the time to waste. It is better to know that you both want the same things out of life and if not you can move on to find the one person who does. Hopefully you don’t hit too many people along the way who just tell you what they think you wnat to hear rather than being honest…that infuriates me! Thank god for girlfriends!!
.-= Michelle Pixie´s last blog ..Chasing My Tail =-.
I think it’s OK to be picky! So many women settle for less-and that’s why guys get away with being such douche bags. (I don’t think all guys are douche bags-just talking about the ones that are…and get away with it).
My mom kept telling me I was way too picky, but I stuck to my guns and last Dec married a wonderful man. I can honestly say I did not compromise. And I am not super confident either-I am WAY insecure. But I was willing to be alone because I would rather be alone than settle for a douche bag who won’t love or respect me. But, I also realize my husband is not perfect and will dissapoint me-I don;t think romance fullfills us the way Hollywood sets it up to-but I DO beleive in a truer, deeper love that means trying to put your lover before yourself and loving them even when they fail you. But, that’s not he same as settling!
Amen and amen.
“as you get older, your tolerance for bs diminishes..”
ooooohhhhh…..yeahhhhh…
like molly shannon used to say when she played the 50 year old lady that would grab cashiers by the collar and yell, “I’m 50 years old! 50 years old! don’t tell me I need to get a raincheck!!!”
Hellofrom the [Life of Meg] Mingle Monday!
If you’re unwilling to settle, you’ll probably get out of a bad relationship much sooner than before, if you don’t avoid getting into a bad one in the first place.
I agree. Wholeheartedly.
Although 10 minutes before I read this, I read another blog that said all those girls in their 30s who were picky and holding out for love, are now in their 40s and going, “Shit, what happened?” So *gulp*
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..UGH- Facebook Are you trying to ruin my life =-.
LOL, really?? gulp is right!
I’m definitely of the opinion that you shouldn’t have to “settle”… which is not to say there aren’t some things worth compromising on, but only you know what those are.
.-= Rachel Cotterill´s last blog ..Rum & Potato! Truffles =-.
Nope! We hopeless and hopeful romantics are still here!
.-= Blond Duck´s last blog ..Magical Monday 2 =-.
I think our tolerance for bullshit DEFINITELY becomes limited the older we get. I put up with so much more crap when I was in my 20′s than I ever would now.
And I wouldn’t necessarily say that you are the breakup standard, but more than anything I would see what your friend’s boyfriend said as a major red flag in the relationship. But I don’t know the whole story, so don’t listen to me.
.-= Salt´s last blog ..Scary-oke =-.
I think it’s good that our bullshit tolerance level is going down (speaking as a woman in her 30s). And there is absolutely no reason to settle. The right guy’s out there!
.-= amber´s last blog ..Five Reasons I’m Not Trying Out For Project Mom =-.
Amen! When we are younger we just stay in relationships hoping they will get better but as we get older we realize they won’t change and wise up!
Well, violent crimes also go up when it’s hot, especially in crowded cities. It seems heat and tight places make people stabby so maybe breakups are a better option.
I learned that during one of the very few classes I attended while in college. It would seem I was briefly a psych major.
.-= AmyBlam´s last blog ..BlogHer 2010- a gateway drug =-.
very well put! And see I think that singledom thrives in the summer cause thats when people want to go to the beach and pick up new people or go out to clubs and concerts etc. Summer is the time to be single. In winter its fun to hibernate
lol
And you are so right – Never settle!!! Funny I wrote a post about settling this week to
.-= E´s last blog ..The Knitty Gritty Wedding Dish =-.
Definitely less b.s. tolerance the older we get.
The summer heat makes me irritible, so I’m less tolerant, so summer has never been a “romantic” time of year for me.
.-= Shell´s last blog ..Pour Your Heart Out- A Glass of Identity =-.