power to the peaceful

I remember a time not too long ago when I was terrified to be alone with my thoughts. I would leave the apartment and wander the streets aimlessly to spare myself an evening of being in my own company. Because it was in those solitary moments that doubt would set in and I would be confronted by emotions I didn’t want to deal with. What was I doing with my life? Would I ever get married? What if there is no such thing as Mr. Right? Would I ever have children?

See? This is why I would leave the apartment. [Read more...]

who am I that I should be vying for your touch?

Growing up, I was a tomboy. Because I was the only female among my cousins (not to mention one of the oldest), I assumed the role of troublemaker/ringleader. At an early age, I was able to convince my younger cousins and brother to dig up the backyard in search of gold coins much to the chagrin of my poor aunt and uncle who had to shell out God knows what to cover landscaping costs. Later on, I dodged other bullets doing all the things that rebellious teenagers do and a few others that exemplified my many lapses in sound judgment. I believe my love of adventure and ability to find myself in a wide assortment of precarious situations are just two reasons why I get along with the opposite sex so well. [Read more...]

biggest mistakes are the humanest kind

Earlier this week, the itch returned. No, not that itch (gross). It started a few weeks ago but I tried to ignore it because I knew that a vacation wouldn’t be possible for me at this point in my life (financially speaking, anyway). But then the travel bug came back with a vengeance and it’s all I can think of lately. I’m not sure if I’m looking for an escape but when life gets a bit complicated and hairy, I dream about packing my bags, abandoning all responsibilities, and skipping town for a bit. (As an aside, I have no business even thinking about a vacation with credit card bills to pay and 12 concerts lined up for the summer. So far. Oh well, a gal‘s gotta have a little fun, too, right?). [Read more...]

fire on the side

In my short time on this Earth, I have always played by the rules. In school, I received perfect attendance awards; in life, I always colored between the lines. Good daughter, loyal friend. But I find myself at an interesting crossroads in my current status as a single 31-year-old. Over the last few months, I’ve noticed a pattern among the men I have found myself attracted to: married, separated, living with girlfriend. Why am I drawn to men who are emotionally and physically unavailable to me? I’m sure there are some psych majors out there who can shed some light on this (I‘m hoping this is actually a common phenomenon and I‘m not the next Angelina). Is it the thrill of the chase I‘m attracted to? Or the fact that these relationships pose such interesting challenges? Do I go for men who can’t commit because it’ll make me feel better when a relationship doesn’t work? I wonder. [Read more...]